I was the type of person who bled the colors of my employer. After eighteen years, the financial institution I’d been working with was tak­en over by another company; there went that color. Similarly, I’ve had friends and family over the years who, in varying degrees, have defined themselves by their jobs. When meeting someone for the first time, they are often the type whose first question is, “What do you do?” The answer to that question generally revolves around employment. I’ve found with some people that the question is more than idle chitchat: their world revolves around their work identity. I’m not talking solely status, role, or compensation—I’m talking about the whole package of work identity. That means that when he or she loses a job, his or her whole world dis­solves—or at least that’s the way he or she feels.

The question you must ask yourself in similar situations is: are you asking to be polite, are you starting a conversation, or are you truly defined only by the job that you do? Personally, I want to be proud of the company I work for, but I don’t believe a job should define me—it should be a piece of me. I was fortunate enough among side business interests, volunteer work, and the overall broadening of my horizons in recent years, to truly no longer feel that what I did for work defined who I was. That mentality was profoundly helpful when I lost my job. As a result, the line in the opening speech, “I wasn’t defined by my job. I defined my own life….I lost my job but found me,” was easy to write.

I was trying to imagine if I would have had the same mentality even five years ago. I’m not sure. What I am sure of now is that my job is only one chapter in my life. I’ve never had an issue with putting my heart and soul into a job, so I don’t feel like my loyalties for my employer will be at stake. My job is an important chapter for sure, but it’s not my only chapter.

Thomas B. Dowd III’s books available in softcover, eBook, and audiobook (From Fear to Success only):

• Now What? The Ultimate Graduation Gift for Professional Success
• Time Management Manifesto: Expert Strategies to Create an Effective Work/Life Balance
• Displacement Day: When My Job was Looking for a Job…A Reference Guide to Finding Work
• The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas: Growing from a Cynic to a Professional in the Corporate World
• From Fear to Success: A Practical Public-speaking Guide received the Gold Medal at the 2013 Axiom Business Book Awards in Business Reference
• The Unofficial Guide to Fatherhood

See “Products” for details on www.transformationtom.com.  Book , eBook, and audiobook (From Fear to Success only) purchase options are also available on Amazon- Please click the link to be re-directed: Amazon.com

The amount of time it took to read the title is about the amount of time it took me to flounder around wondering, “What now?” If you have been laid off or find yourself suddenly out of work for any reason, I suggest taking enough time to take a deep breath and ensure you don’t make any unnecessary emotional decisions or actions that may burn bridges. I actually invested the time between packing boxes and say­ing goodbye to formulate a thoughtful email as my departing gift to my now-former colleagues. Prior to sending, I made a point to ensure that it was positive, balanced, and could not be misinterpreted as over-the-top emotional irrationality. Below is the majority of the message:

“Change is inevitable, growth is optional.” – John C. Maxwell

I found out this morning that my job was eliminated—it’s effective immediately. After twenty-three years with this company, I can only say, ‘thank you.’ I am who I am professionally based on the bumps, bruises, and triumphs this company has provided me. I can’t thank all of you enough for transforming me into someone who can leave this company with his head up. I’m also hoping that it is temporary. I feel great about my prospects and know that I will land in the right place.

I’ve attached my résumé for you to review and feel free to send it to anyone you feel would like to see it. Please also forward to anyone whom I may have inadvertently missed in my rush. I’ve also attached a letter I wrote a few days after my first books were published in September 2012, to our company’s CEO as I was bursting with pride about where I’d been individually and where I saw this company moving in the future. My feelings for this company have not changed—it is full of success stories.

“There are no defining moments. There are only moments for you to define.” – Tom Dowd

I then attached a letter that I had sent to our CEO earlier in the year. This letter was a note that discussed the negative media attention the com­pany had been receiving at the time. It emphasized the fact that the indi­viduals within any company are what make it special. My message to him was that the company, regardless of the media scrutiny, had a multitude of employees working hard to get past it. Below is the last paragraph:

“I bring up the timing, because you know more than anyone the an­gle the press likes to take with “too big to fail” and the “one percent.” What the sometimes negative media fails to recognize is the efforts of the 260,000 employees working behind the scenes to offer the right financial solutions to our customers. Yes, we make mistakes. The question is, can we learn from these mistakes to be better people, better employees, bet­ter community partners, and a stronger organization because of them? I think we can. I think there are more people in this company who are forging ahead every day to make a difference for themselves and for oth­ers. I wanted you to have these books as a symbol of growth, a symbol of support, and a symbol of success that we are strong. The company has winners. I am but one of the many success stories at (this company).”

I couldn’t have been too far off with my sentiments. I received a note from a former colleague asking if I contributed to the new marketing campaign for my now former company that started six months later. The theme surrounded the message of learning from our mistakes and build­ing personal relationships. I can’t say that I contributed directly, but I’ve learned over time that relationship building is critical for success for ev­eryone.

Thomas B. Dowd III’s books available in softcover, eBook, and audiobook (From Fear to Success only):

• Now What? The Ultimate Graduation Gift for Professional Success
• Time Management Manifesto: Expert Strategies to Create an Effective Work/Life Balance
• Displacement Day: When My Job was Looking for a Job…A Reference Guide to Finding Work
• The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas: Growing from a Cynic to a Professional in the Corporate World
• From Fear to Success: A Practical Public-speaking Guide received the Gold Medal at the 2013 Axiom Business Book Awards in Business Reference
• The Unofficial Guide to Fatherhood

See “Products” for details on www.transformationtom.com.  Book , eBook, and audiobook (From Fear to Success only) purchase options are also available on Amazon- Please click the link to be re-directed: Amazon.com