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Post from Transformation Tom- This I Believe

October 13, 2012 / tomdowd / News
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This I Believe… by Thomas B. Dowd Sr. (my grandfather)

The following was aired in the 1950’s by my grandfather (my namesake) on the Edward R. Murrow’s radio show, “This I Believe.”

The basis of my belief is shaped by a most unforgettable character, a woman. The story begins with a little girl, 2 years of age, as she stood in a country cemetery on a raw December day holding her 4-year-old brother’s hand and listening to a kind priest as he prayed over the grave of her mother. It is quite possible that she didn’t understand this experience until later, but there is no doubt that she felt it with the instinctive wisdom of a child. When the prayers at the grave were completed, this little girl was separated from her brother and taken to an orphanage where, for seven years—long as they must have been to her—she, with other orphans, was shepherded up and down church aisles in the hope that somebody would be attracted to her and single her out for adoption. One Sunday, shortly after her 9th birthday, the girl was taken into the hearts of a couple who had little to offer of material things, but a world of love to give. Her philosophy of life, because of the kindness of these two, was predicated on a philosophy of thankfulness, and she dedicated her life to doing for these two people each thing done, bringing to her happiness and joy, and to them material comfort. This little girl grew with dignity to the state of womanhood and married. She found a new and lasting kind of love with her fine husband. And although the first years of this union were filled and strained with worries, they carried on, doing things as one. Their oldest child died at the age of 12; there were business difficulties; there was a continuous struggle to get on the road of stability and success. The sky never seemed to be completely cleared of its clouds of illness and worry. All this necessitated tremendous personal sacrifices, which were so readily made, so that their children might not be only clothed and fed, but also would be educated. Her dominant philosophy, so developed in these trying years, was an understanding of God’s ways. She was a happy mother, tender and considerate of her husband and children, unselfish in everything she did. Her spirit of optimism and the joy and pleasure she derived from the littlest of things made her stand apart from all others that I have known. She had a trust in God and man—one as the giver of all things, and the other as a provider of material and earthly things. This trust was a beacon to all who knew her. In all things she did, she looked for no personal reward, but, as in the case of such a living philosopher, she received a reward that was above all expectations. Her belief in God as the giver of all things was exceeded only by her realization that the time would come when she would be turning to Him for eternity. With her family gathered about her deathbed, she listened to their prayers and those of her oldest son, a priest, as he asked God to accept her spirit. And just as he pleaded “Dear God, into thy hands I commit the soul of my mother,” she passed on to eternity. If one were not impressed with this person who embodied the humanitarianism of the Good Samaritan, he could find, in my opinion, no place in the world of good thinking people. That I was impressed, and that I have attempted in some way in my personal life to follow the concept of the goodness that was hers, shouldn’t be too hard a task, since this unforgettable woman was my mother.

 

Original Radio Broadcast: https://thisibelieve.org/essay/16508/

 

Thomas B. Dowd III books The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas: Growing from a Cynic to a Professional in the Corporate World and From Fear to Success: A Practical Public-speaking Guide are available under “Products” on www.transformationtom.com.  Book and eBook purchase options are also available on Amazon- Please click the links to be re-directed:  Amazon.com

 

 

believe, children, Dowd, family, parenthood, self-determination, setbacks, Thomas Dowd, transformation

Post from Transformation Tom- Lessons in Sportsmanship

September 26, 2012 / tomdowd / News
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Lessons in Sportsmanship

Yes, the replacement NFL referees have missed some calls, and according to some onlookers even cost the game for a team (i.e., Green Bay Packers).  We scream at a bunch of people willing to step up to do something who do not have the skills to do the job—yet they’re trying.  What are we teaching each other?  Are we saying no one is allowed to try, no one is allowed to make mistakes, and if you’re not good enough, get off the field before you are berated and belittled.

On the same day as the Monday Night Football, what should we call it? Debacle? Or, as stated on NBC’s Today show this morning “CRISIS”, my youngest daughter’s sixth grade soccer team took the field for a game.  The way the local school league and teams are set up, they are consistently at a disadvantage, and will play older, stronger, bigger, and better teams.  The likelihood of winning a game is slim.  They know this going into the game, yet they all show up to play.  More than halfway through the season, the team has scored one goal, and has not won.  Yet, they sprint out on to the field each time.

I’ve had displayed my own cynicism in the past and have made my own comments about how everyone today gets a ribbon, medal, trophy, and certificate for participating.  Although I still believe some of this has watered down our children’s drive and motivation in some competitive situations later on in life, it has taught many people the importance of teamwork and sportsmanship.  If there was ever a more deserving group of children for the pat on the back for trying, it is this team.

This sixth-grade team comes to practice every day looking to improve.  They respect the referees; they respect the other team, and understand the integrity of the game.  I asked my daughter how the game was after a 10-0 loss, and she said, “It was fun.”  That’s also the same answer she gave me after her basketball team lost 74-4.  How can you not smile after hearing a genuine answer like that and hope all of us can live our lives that way.

After work on Monday, I asked the same question and expected a similar answer.  Instead I was given a description of events from her (and later confirmed with several others) that was disturbing.  After being down 6-0 at halftime, the opposing coach mercifully pulled the top players.  The game was a little more competitive, but a couple more goals were scored.  The opposing players apparently began mocking the losing team, and were laughing out loud at the players.  The opposing coach was on the sideline and said nothing.  His first act of pulling the players was admirable, but this is when the real teaching of his team should have taken place.  It didn’t.

Instead, as the opposing goalie began to dribble up the field, he was encouraged by his team to continue.  He dribbled the length of the field and was able to take a shot.  The coach’s reaction was a flippant comment made to his goalie along the lines of, “That’s enough, and we know what you can do.”  The laughter continued.

Last year, as a soccer referee of a local YMCA eight-to-ten year old soccer league, I was getting fed up with some of the parents and youth sports coaches striving to win some championship that’s as important to them as the World Cup.  It boiled over toward the end of the season when I handed (OK, tossed) a whistle to one of the screaming coach mid-way through a game who felt my refereeing wasn’t good enough.  I told him to do it himself if he felt he could (he responded back and said he could).  Yes, it was unsportsmanlike on my part, but a message was sent at that time to all of the parents, team, and coaches that screamed, “I’m just a volunteer trying my best, and I don’t deserve that kind of treatment.”  I went back on the field after some prodding to a very cordial rest of the game.

I share this story because the sixth grade losing coach became tired of this too.  She was worn-out with the antics and pulled her team off the field to avoid any further embarrassment—not the score, but the other team’s actions.  Her kids were trying their best and don’t deserve that kind of treatment.  According to observers, our coach screamed about unsportsmanlike-conduct from the team and that it was not necessary.  The only misstep the coach took was when she made a comment out loud saying, “This sucks.”  She instantly knew she made a mistake and apologized, including sending an incredibly written email sent to the parents explaining her motives, and saying sorry again for all of the events.  The referee’s only comment through the entire ordeal was that she would be reported to the league for her language.  The other opposing coach was not reprimanded and not even approached to calm down the situation.  I realized that I started this article with don’t yell at the refs, but we are all part of this learning experience.

The kids obediently left the field and appreciated their own coach’s actions.  Needless to say, emails and calls were exchanged with the athletic directors.  It was clear that the opposing athletic director didn’t condone these acts, and assured everyone that swift and appropriate action would be taken.  This wasn’t some blanketed apology that we hear in the news so often for a misguided Tweet, or random comment that was caught on tape.  The genuine desire to make it right was felt by all involved and was appreciated.

The next day, the team had another game.  They lost.  In reality, they won as soon as they took the field.  I want certificates of participation handed out for everyone!  I want kids to play the game to try their best and learn about teamwork.  I want the primary purpose of the game to be the teaching of sportsmanship—the teaching that comes from parents, coaches, and players alike.  Stop screaming at the refs.  Stop ridiculing the players.  Stop the madness as coaches striving to win an eight inch plastic trophy that will sit in the schools display case gathering dust.  Start having conversations about trying something new, trying your best, be willing to make mistakes, loving what you’re doing, teamwork, camaraderie, and any other individual and team goals you may want to instill.

I’ve failed to mention that this group of kids from the town next door will end up going to high school and playing on the same teams in just a couple of years.  I can’t wait for that day of learning.  When asked how the game was on Tuesday, my daughter responded with, “It was fun.”  Gotta love her attitude.

 

Thomas B. Dowd III books The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas: Growing from a Cynic to a Professional in the Corporate World and From Fear to Success: A Practical Public-speaking Guide are available under “Products” on www.transformationtom.com.  Book and eBook purchase options are also available on Amazon- Please click the links to be re-directed:  Amazon.com

children, lessons, nfl referees, NLF, referees, sports, sportsmanship

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