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Post from Transformation Tom- Know What the Written Word Says About You: Chapter from “The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas”

January 7, 2019 / tomdowd / News
0

Sometimes I think that the written word is a lost art form. Considering how hard I had to work on improving my own writing skills over the years, I take this topic very seriously. In some cases, the use of proper grammar has disintegrated due to the fast-paced environment and technology all around us. Understanding that language is constantly evolving, I have grown to be flexible and accepting of new styles, forms, and words (look up “Ginormous” to get the point). However, I still understand the importance of how much the written word says about the writer.

Twitter, a social networking platform created in 2006, is a text-based methodology to post your thoughts with less than two hundred and eighty characters. These “tweets,” for those not familiar or living under a rock, can be made public to anyone who may be following the author. The public nature of this communication channel is a good example of why a writer needs to be extremely careful of what is written—or, in this case, posted. However, the shortened number of characters creates the need for the person posting to use symbols, limit the use of vowels, and eliminate punctuation in many cases. It also opens the reader up to many interpretations of the meaning of the message, the intended emotion, and the limited context in which it was written.

Written Word

Although my current employer limits texting, it doesn’t eliminate employees from staying in a texting mode when sending written communication through emails, instant messages, and in some cases, official memos. I have often been accused of being critical about professional writing. Texting and instant messaging are so commonplace in today’s society, both personally and professionally, that they have influenced grammar when it comes time for formal memos and presentations to be done. Too many times, the habits from these quick-hit communication channels come out when it was not intended.

I consider attention to detail in writing both common sense and critical to anyone’s success in the professional world. I personally enjoy the challenge of creating a perfect document. I try to have a magnetic eye when it comes to spelling errors, spacing errors, and many editorial issues. Although I can hardly say that I am perfect with my own writing, I make the effort. In some cases, I think the diverse communication channels and flow have changed our attention to editing the written word. I don’t think we need to push the argument to the full extent and force everyone to hire an editor to sit down and read every email that is sent. However, I would strongly suggest that the authors slow down enough to proofread their own work. Stopping to read what was written prior to sending an email is a smart business move—simply running spell check does not count.

Written communications tell a lot about a person. Are you detail-oriented? Do you have a reputation for misspelling, poor grammar, or a lack of ability to check your own work? Whether we like it or not, judgments are often being made about our intelligence level based on what we put down in writing. In a professional setting, do you want the reputation of being the person who always uses silly acronyms such as LOL (“Laugh out loud”), EMPHASIZES YOUR EMOTIONS THROUGH CAPITALIZATION, or must get your point across with multiple exclamation points (e.g., !!!!!!!!) on formal, business-related communications? Believe it or not, I have read the word “crap” more than once on supposedly professionally-written emails.

I have been given the advice often that you should assume that what you write or send to someone can, and potentially will, be made public, even if your intentions are to keep the audience restricted. There are far too many opportunities for messages to be sent on to unintended parties. We are too public in our communications in today’s world not to be cautious of what we write. I am not talking about spelling issues. I am talking about private messages that become public because of our ability to forward and reply to the message. Emails can become an endless string. I recently saw an example of an email that came back to my inbox over two hundred times because someone hit “Reply All” in error, and then a comedy of emails of people informing the person that she hit “Reply All,” followed by the annoyed recipients who chose to inform everyone that they should not be responding to “Reply All.” The final kicker was the courtesy “Thanks” response at the end.

I am often surprised—although I have seen it enough not to be—that within minutes following an internal memorandum, it is already published on an external website for the entire world to see. I am not naïve enough to think that this is not intentional as a way to get the good news out about a company. However, we need to be sensitive that in any company, less trusted individuals with access to information are hungry to seek out the media to share the negative company news as well.

Depending on the company policy, the written word can be permanent. You should always make the assumption that what you write is considered part of the permanent record. How often have you seen in the news someone from a large corporation been dragged through some investigation, including a senate committee hearing, because of an email that came back to haunt them, or someone running for public office whose past written word forced them to be dragged through the mud? The key is to be careful in what you choose to put down in writing. Deleting your emails may not be your savior with today’s technology. We all need to be sensitive in what we choose to send out with our name on it.

Let’s oversimplify: proofread your work. The easiest way to do this is to stop and read it before sending it. I know I am stating the obvious, but running spell check is not considered editing in my eyes. Just ask my old manager, who had the word “manger” written at least twenty times throughout one of my performance appraisals. If we don’t edit our work, we may be losing some credibility—just ask the person we attempted to recognize with an email that starts with “Congradulations.”

I have had many people tell me that writing skills aren’t needed for certain jobs, such as being on the phones talking with customers. This may be true based on the job itself, but it also has to do with pride in your own skills and ability. In my field of work starting from speaking to customers on the phone to managing people and projects, I felt it was imperative to have decent writing skills. Let’s use the example of working on the phones: You may need to document the conversation on the system. Other customer service representatives need to see it for future interactions. The customer needs it for a record to ensure that the inquiry is addressed and resolved. What if it is more complicated, and an email or written request needs to go to another department? What about emailing the manager for assistance? I have seen run-on sentences that have lost all meaning, and entire communications without a vowel. Basic writing skills are critical if your original intended meaning is to be understood.

The speed of business may have moved us from the need to consciously vet everything written through proper and traditional grammar editing. I am pragmatic and understand not every word needs to be scrutinized. My request of you is to pay attention and double-check your own work to ensure clarity within the writing. How it is written, and the attention to detail, is often interpreted solely by the reader, regardless of intent. If you are someone who does not proofread well on a computer system, there are other methods that are helpful, such as reading a passage backward, and in some cases, printing it out to give it the extra attention it may need (note: plug to minimize printing when possible for environmental reasons). You can always have a second set of eyes review as well.

Whether someone chooses texting, instant messaging, email, or formal memos, a person’s personality comes out loud and clear. All methods are effective means of communicating. Text and email tend to be more reactive, but knowing this will change how you effectively use it. The key is to think things through before you hit send. These written communication channels have a tendency to have more emotion—which can be dangerous. What you intended to communicate and what is truly interpreted can and will be different. Take the time to gather your thoughts and to review them. Interpretation is a one-sided process. The recipient has full control to interpret your message any way he or she wants. A simple written joke, such as, “What was up with your presentation this morning?” can go from a fun message to say “nice job” with a little jab, to getting the recipient upset and forcing the need for apologies.

When it comes to written communications, please take notice of the following:

• Be clear and concise in what you are attempting to convey

• Invest time to review your written work prior to turning it in or sending it on

• Understand what you write will become a record of who you are

• Writing is a skill that can and should be honed

• There is value in effective writing skills; value that will be noticed and appreciated by the reader.

 

 

 

Thomas B. Dowd III’s books available in softcover, eBook, and audiobook (From Fear to Success only):

  • Now What? The Ultimate Graduation Gift for Professional Success
  • Time Management Manifesto: Expert Strategies to Create an Effective Work/Life Balance
  • Displacement Day: When My Job was Looking for a Job…A Reference Guide to Finding Work
  • The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas: Growing from a Cynic to a Professional in the Corporate World
  • From Fear to Success: A Practical Public-speaking Guide received the Gold Medal at the 2013 Axiom Business Book Awards in Business Reference
  • The Unofficial Guide to Fatherhood

See “Products” for details on www.transformationtom.com.  Book, eBook, and audiobook (From Fear to Success only) purchase options are also available on Amazon- Please click the link to be re-directed: Amazon.com

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Post from Transformation Tom- Control Self-imposed Pressures: Chapter from “The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas”

December 20, 2018 / tomdowd / News
0

I remember too many times when someone asked me to get something done immediately for them. When that happened, I knocked down walls to get it done. I sometimes felt like a dog that had just picked up the morning paper and was waiting for my reward, only to often get passed by without an acknowledgment. I didn’t understand that the word “immediate” had multiple interpretations. The requester might have given credit to someone else or didn’t even remember who did it in the first place. I would put undue pressure on myself and then try to figure out what went wrong. Unfortunately, when receiving these types of requests, I often did not effectively ask for clarification or understand the expectations.Self Imposed Pressure

I found myself wondering why I always put this type of unnecessary pressure on myself, or find myself getting riled up when the end result did not come out the way I wanted it to. I tried to understand why I dropped everything else I was doing or poured my heart and soul into something only to realize later that it was a request in passing, or that it could have been done just as easily at a different time. I had to better assess the urgency and importance of these requests. I had to gain a better understanding of what needed to be done now versus later. I also should have compared what needed to be done for the business versus myself. Finally, I needed to understand whether I was putting the pressure on myself or if it was truly pressured about a pressing task that genuinely needed to be addressed quickly.

When I didn’t get the attention I felt I deserved for accomplishing something, I would typically invest far too much time worrying about it. I might have been upset for thinking that a mistake was made and the requester didn’t want to say anything. I searched for the proper credit when I felt it was due. I had to come to grips with myself. I needed to make the move to be more accepting of who I was and what I was doing—everything else would eventually take care of itself. I began to make an attempt to take the pressure off myself by concentrating on the quality of my work and just try to learn from the experience—good and bad.

Many people have a tendency to be harder on themselves than anyone else. The pressure to get the task done, the pressure we put on ourselves in the hope that it was done right and then waiting to see the reaction of others, all adds up. The question is, “Adds up to what?”

I have found myself in situations when I felt like I should kick myself because I said something stupid or forgot to ask a pertinent question in an important meeting. I found that I would drive myself crazy with these thoughts running through my mind, putting more and more pressure on myself to be perfect. I wanted to get everything done for everyone at the exact right times. I include myself when I say everyone because I was typically my own worst enemy.

I started to realize that many people have memories like a dog—they last a couple of minutes and move on. I worked with executives who were responsible for millions of dollars for the company and some who were responsible for hundreds and thousands of people. I began to realize that some people have more important things to do than remember a minor mistake I may have made. Even if the mistake was remembered, I found it important to ensure that everyone saw that I had learned from it. I was the one putting the pressure on myself—pressure that no one else was feeling.

I had to do a better job of ensuring I was clear with expectations relating to time frames and deliverables. There may be situations in which you do have to drop everything, or there is a flavor of the day that needs to be addressed. Sometimes, there really is pressure to get something done. However, more often than not, I was doing my job well, exceeding my boss’s expectations, and was just putting too much stress on myself. I needed to free my mind of this clutter and just concentrate on the job at hand. I also needed to do a better job ensuring I wasn’t asking too much of myself.

I couldn’t sleep last night. I yelled at my children because I could not concentrate on writing this book, and I felt guilty. Naturally, my reasoning for yelling at them was justified in my mind because it must have made sense that the paragraph I was working on was the most important thing in the world to me at the time. I know this is a ridiculous thought because nothing is as important to me as my family, but at the time when my emotional pressure was high, I had to find some other silly reason as to why my children were at fault.

I began to assess the situation as I was tossing and turning in the night. I had set very aggressive and specific internal goals relating to this book. I was meeting my own time frames and pacing it out appropriately according to my own expectations. There was no publisher on my back to get it done and there was no one forcing the issue except me. However, my internal goals were stressing me out and building up tension to the point that I was taking it out on the people I love.

I was forcing myself to wake up early to put my ideas and thoughts on paper as quickly as they came to me. I wanted certain sections written by certain times. I was forcing my own direction. It’s good to be aggressive with goals, but there also needs to be a balance with everything around you. I was upset at myself for getting unnecessarily upset at my children. I had no intention of writing a passage about internal pressures, but I know how much each of us drives ourselves to succeed personally and professionally. We will succeed. However, we need to skim some of the pressure off the top that we ourselves have created. When I woke up the next morning, I did not log in to write my book, but I did apologize to my children and thanked them again for being my teachers.

I invested time to reevaluate my goals and decided to extend my own timeline a little longer to ensure that I was putting out a product I would be proud of. The reassessing of a timeline, or giving ourselves a break, does not mean being lax with deadlines, internal or external, and does not mean being less aggressive with respect to personal or professional goals. It means incorporating time to provide breaks and downtime to stay fresh and make sure we truly know what’s important and urgent. Make sure we understand whether the pressure we are feeling is self-imposed. If it is, reassess whether or not those pressures are too intense and thus impacting the quality of the work we are producing.

We should also ask if we are on the same page as the individual requesting our time, even if we are the requester. You might be surprised at the number of instances when you are not in sync. Stop yourself in mid-action and ask what needs to be done and what you want to get done. Need and want will have a different urgency and importance attached to each. As you continue to regularly reassess the pressures, you will begin to assimilate to what is ‘real’ pressure and how much is self-imposed.

 

 

Thomas B. Dowd III’s books available in softcover, eBook, and audiobook (From Fear to Success only):

  • Now What? The Ultimate Graduation Gift for Professional Success
  • Time Management Manifesto: Expert Strategies to Create an Effective Work/Life Balance
  • Displacement Day: When My Job was Looking for a Job…A Reference Guide to Finding Work
  • The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas: Growing from a Cynic to a Professional in the Corporate World
  • From Fear to Success: A Practical Public-speaking Guide received the Gold Medal at the 2013 Axiom Business Book Awards in Business Reference
  • The Unofficial Guide to Fatherhood

See “Products” for details on www.transformationtom.com.  Book, eBook, and audiobook (From Fear to Success only) purchase options are also available on Amazon- Please click the link to be re-directed: Amazon.com

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Post from Transformation Tom- Understand Communication Preferences: Chapter from “The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas”

December 16, 2018 / tomdowd / News
0

There are so many forms of communication in today’s professional environment. Professional communication has evolved from a face-to-face, memo, or phone-driven form to so much more in today’s business. The emergence of voice mail, email, instant messaging, video conference, and texting has changed how, when, and with whom we interact. The list will only continue to grow as new technologies emerge.

The dynamics of our interpersonal and small group discussions are impacted based on the communication preferences and choices people make. For example, our ability to more actively listen and be sensitive to voice cues is heightened when we are on the phone, versus being in person. Attention spans are also impacted by other factors. You can be on a conference call with twenty people, and a few participants have side conversations via instant messenger or email. Their attention and engagement are impacted and may influence others around them. Other people may be conducting non-related business on the side that they see as a higher priority. Face-to-face meetings and video conferencing to some extent have their own communication influences brought about by non-verbal messaging by allowing the participants to see facial expressions and reactions.

Communication Preferences

The ability to type messages instantly also has its own pros and cons. The messages are typically short and concise. However, there is often a lack of context in the message which may force the need to have significant clarification back and forth. I have found outside of the many symbols being used to express our emotions during an instant text message interaction (emoticons), overreaction is brought into the text message interchange due to the immediacy of the channel. People have a tendency to quickly type a response and hit send as it is going through their mind. Emotion has always been there in the past; however, emotion emitted through channels such as text and email may have responses come more quickly and therefore less thoughtfully.

The lack of proofreading and editing during these quick exchanges has caused many communication issues when a message is sent to an unintended recipient (e.g., you are thinking of them when sending), unnecessary multiple recipients (e.g., reply all), and credibility of the sender if there are significant spelling or grammatical errors. In the latter example, the entire meaning of the message can be altered with the omission of a word. For example, “Your request is approved” is a lot different than “Your request is not approved.”

You should also understand how your peers and managers would like you to communicate with them, and you should make your expectations known as to how you prefer to communicate. I have had many people who never respond when I send them emails. However, these same individuals are always willing to communicate via instant text message. Some people prefer constant written communication using email and instant text message and can go back and forth all day. I personally prefer picking up the phone if I see multiple emails and instant messages going back and forth. For example, I have set the example that I prefer not to have an email or instant text message go back and forth more than twice before picking up the phone. However, this is simply my preference. One time, I found I was inadvertently annoying a colleague whenever I sent them an instant message. I would ask if she was available. If she responded “yes” I would provide my phone number to call me. She finally sent me a note asking why I always assumed she was available for a phone call. She was available for the instant text message session and just didn’t know that I preferred the phone.

When possible, we need to understand what works best for everyone and do what we can to accommodate that in the best interest of enhancing the communication experience. The key is to know what works best for the people we communicate with most often. When that isn’t clear, ask the obvious but often missed question, “What is the best way to communicate with you?”

 

 

Thomas B. Dowd III’s books available in softcover, eBook, and audiobook (From Fear to Success only):

  • Now What? The Ultimate Graduation Gift for Professional Success
  • Time Management Manifesto: Expert Strategies to Create an Effective Work/Life Balance
  • Displacement Day: When My Job was Looking for a Job…A Reference Guide to Finding Work
  • The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas: Growing from a Cynic to a Professional in the Corporate World
  • From Fear to Success: A Practical Public-speaking Guide received the Gold Medal at the 2013 Axiom Business Book Awards in Business Reference
  • The Unofficial Guide to Fatherhood

See “Products” for details on www.transformationtom.com.  Book, eBook, and audiobook (From Fear to Success only) purchase options are also available on Amazon- Please click the link to be re-directed: Amazon.com

advice, anxiety, author, book, business, business development, Business Training, change, choose your words, choose your words carefully, Coach, coaching, communication, Communications, Confidence, control, development, Dowd, fear, gestures, growth, Inspiration, intentions, introduction, leadership, Management, Marketing, mental, Motivation, Networking, Personal, personal growth, physical, practice, preparation, prepare, professional advice, Professional Development, public-speaking, reiterate, relax, repeat, Résumé, Résumé Writing, speaker, speaking, strength, success, tense, tension, Thomas, Thomas Dowd, tom, Tom Dowd, training, transformation, transformation tom, transformationtom, visualize success

Post from Transformation Tom- Build Credibility and Success through Effective Communication: Chapter from “The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas”

December 9, 2018 / tomdowd / News
1

Communication is one of the most critical skills to have in any professional setting. I was in a planning session one day when the key speaker mentioned that “Ninety-eight percent of all problems in the world come from miscommunication.” I’ve never been able to validate this statistic, but I also would never argue it, because there is truth to it. We could probably reassess many of our past issues and identify some root factors that came down to ineffective communication, whether it was due to poor listening skills, communication channel ineffectiveness, or over-complication of directions. I got the point.

CredibilityI thought I would share a true story as to why communication is important, as expressed by one of my daughters who was eight years old at the time. Please note that the names have been changed to protect the identity of those involved.

My daughter was given a note from a little boy named Adam asking her to “go out with him.” The teacher saw the note and asked my daughter about it. She said she thought it came from Adam and that it had just been sitting on her desk. The teacher went to Adam and said, “Did you write this note?” He replied, “No.” She asked Chris, a little boy who sat across from Adam, “Is this note from you?” Chris replied, “No.” Now the teacher was confused. She said to Chris, “You don’t know anything about this note?” Chris said, “I know about it.” Now the teacher was a little annoyed and she said, “But I just asked if you wrote it and you said no.” Chris said, “No, you asked if it was from me and it’s not—it’s from Adam.” So the teacher said, “Adam, I asked if the note was from you and you said no.” Adam said, “No, you asked if I wrote it. My handwriting isn’t very good, so I had Chris write it for me.”

Miscommunication is the root of too many problems. I cringed every six months when I read the communication sections of my performance appraisals. I lost confidence over time with my own communication ability, whether it was written, verbal, interpersonal, small group, or business communications. I struggled managing up, managing down, and simply having effective conversations with peers. I knew I had the skills, but always seemed to struggle. I had difficulty in finding my communication style, and with determining who I wanted to be as a communicator and how I most effectively wanted to communicate. When I lost my confidence in communication, I had difficulty in believing I could ever succeed at my company. I couldn’t identify a true communication style because I lacked the confidence to truly know myself or my capabilities. Let me share a performance appraisal quote relating to my own communication.

“Tom needs to be more concise with his communication style. He needs to ensure that he understands his audience and his ability to adapt based on who he is interacting with.”

I did not adapt my communication style regardless of whether I was talking to a peer in the hall or whether I was communicating with senior management. I had significant opportunities to also be more clear and concise. I could have provided an executive higher-level overview, as opposed to stuffing every little detail into a presentation, including speaking notes directly in the main bullets on the slides. I now ask the following questions of myself ahead of time, “Who is the audience?,” “What is the intended outcome of the meeting?,” and “How much information do I think they will need?” These questions allow me to understand how much information to have on hand and what kind of preparation will be needed. For example, will I need to be surrounded by numbers and statistics, or will the audience trust the numbers on the page and want a directional recommendation? When asked questions, will the audience want a high-level overview or a detailed storyline? I found that the feedback wasn’t specific to making my responses shorter, the feedback was directed to having me be clear and succinct based on what a particular audience wanted. My ability to adapt to the audience’s needs won over many critics as I improved.

In another evaluation, it was recommended that I, “Ask questions to ensure a full understanding.”

I wanted to be the person with all of the details and all of the answers. I was the first to answer questions or the first to speak up. Often, if I was leading a conversation I would exhaust everything I knew prior to opening up the meeting for questions. I typically didn’t even pause long enough to ensure that everyone understood what I was talking about. I often lost my audiences and they became frustrated. They frequently did not have a chance to speak or lost interest because they could not follow the path I was taking them down. I also lost credibility because I could not generate buy-in to the ideas and concepts because they came across as my ideas alone. I now use silence as a tool. I generate conversation upfront by asking open-ended questions to ensure that the audience understands and is engaged. I use pauses to create enough time for people to ask questions. If I am leading the conversation, I often stop to ensure clarity and elicit opinions along the way. I try to ensure that participation and buy-in is an ongoing part of the process versus a question at the end of, “Do you agree?” I found this style suits me better and has enabled me to be more effective. This way, I have found that I have to explain less and do not force myself into a position that inundates the audience with unnecessary details, because they are now an active part of the conversation.

“Position ideas with your audience in mind…need to be more confident in presentations to senior management; don’t second guess self.”

That feedback was a mouthful. Apparently, I didn’t grasp the audience’s feedback when previously given and I needed it reinforced. As stated in the original piece of feedback, “Understand his audience,” I needed to ask the right questions of myself ahead of time in order to formulate my ideas and learn how to most effectively get them across to the audience. These questions allowed me to better position my ideas based on who I was speaking to and allowed me to get creative in how to do that. As I became better accustomed to understanding audience needs, I gained confidence in my own abilities.

I had a key learning moment when I worked for a manager who emphasized taking the emotion out of discussions and stressed sticking to the facts. I tried to become more level headed as I answered questions and presented ideas. I was open to expanding on my ideas but sold the merits of those ideas based on solid facts I’d gleaned from the information I gathered from customers or people I worked with. I made my positions more holistic based on a collaboration of facts that allowed me to confidently present them to all types of audiences, based on the needs. My confidence went through the roof. I had the backing and support of actual results and verbatim information that solidified my overall position. I figured it out based on the obvious clues my audience was presenting to me, such as, “I would not have thought of that until you presented the customers’ point of view,” or subtle clues like, “I think this is interesting information I would not have thought about until you mentioned it.” I learned to not only present with facts, I learned how to read the audience to determine the appropriate amount of facts.

“Avoid shutting down when others don’t agree with you.”

I had another manager who told me it was all right to be challenged and to have a debate during these discussions. I was not the biggest fan of confrontation. I had not realized that “shutting down” was a form of communication until I realized it was my way of dealing with more difficult situations. I was providing my audience with details relating to non-verbal cues I was giving off in times when I did not agree. The silence was deafening when I did not agree with a point of view. I typically got defensive in my short and terse responses until I had exhausted all avenues, and then sat in silence fuming while others offered their dissenting opinions. I took their critical positions personally. I had to learn that they were not personal vendettas; it was just an attempt to hear all sides and make the subject palatable to as many people as possible, and more importantly, come up with the best solutions—even if they weren’t mine. In some cases, I was simply being asked to clarify but had stopped truly listening enough to be an active part of the conversation. I had to be a more engaged listener and ensure that I truly understood the other point of view. My root issue was not shutting down; my root issue was the listening. As soon as I became a better listener, I could formulate and articulate my thoughts and opinions more effectively.

I had several obstacles in accepting the communication feedback that I needed to get into my thick head before I would readily accept it. First, I didn’t truly believe it early in my career. I was convinced that my communication diploma made me an effective communicator and that it did not have to be nurtured. Apparently, I missed the day of class that said learning communication is progressive and constantly evolving. Second, I was detail-oriented. I convinced myself that my message was clear because of all the information and details I was providing. I felt the need to constantly repeat my points and inundate the audience with information until I felt they got it.

As stated previously, I talked myself into believing that many of my managers just read my past reviews and they were not accurately assessing me regarding my communication ability. I was not cocky or overconfident in my communication. I was losing whatever confidence I had every time I had to read my performance appraisals. I did something that was more difficult than waiting every six months to read it: I started to pull them out every two weeks. I knew I had a weakness, whether it was real or perceived, and I knew I had to address it head-on. If someone thought it, I eventually convinced myself that I had to do something to improve it, and communication was the constant string that was being pulled through.

My turnaround came when I slowly started to be more active in the review process. I had managers who invested their time in building a relationship with me, who gave me the confidence to ask questions. I started to finally believe I could improve if I just decided to take action. I started asking the question of anyone providing me communication feedback, “How?” I actively sought specifics and almost treated the feedback as a research project. I sought role models who exhibited skills and styles that worked, and I grew to enjoy the challenge of making myself a better communicator.

“How” to fix your communication woes will vary based on the individual. However, anytime feedback is given, the recipient has the right, and I would say obligation, to ask for an explanation and further detail of “how” to fix it if the individual providing the feedback fails to address it. What tangible actions can an individual take if they read the feedback that simply starts with “You need to adapt…,” or, “avoid…,” or “position…”? The employee needs to make it a two-way conversation and get examples and explanations that give the context necessary to take action based on that feedback.

I had realized that the simplicity of asking the question, “How?” during a feedback session would make a significant difference in my ability to grasp hold of something to work with. For example, I wish someone could have told me twenty years ago that I could improve my communication confidence by joining Toastmasters International. My first year-end performance appraisal after I joined Toastmasters read, “Tom’s organizational and communication skills are his key strengths.” It was the first time I was not asked to improve something regarding my communication. I was learning the value of proactively taking a role in the feedback process and was beginning to understand that communication is a learned trait that needs to be nurtured. I was gaining confidence in my own communication ability. I started to realize the clear connection between confidence and communication. The combination equaled communication effectiveness. The communication effectiveness turned into greater credibility and success.

 

 

 

Thomas B. Dowd III’s books available in softcover, eBook, and audiobook (From Fear to Success only):

  • Now What? The Ultimate Graduation Gift for Professional Success
  • Time Management Manifesto: Expert Strategies to Create an Effective Work/Life Balance
  • Displacement Day: When My Job was Looking for a Job…A Reference Guide to Finding Work
  • The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas: Growing from a Cynic to a Professional in the Corporate World
  • From Fear to Success: A Practical Public-speaking Guide received the Gold Medal at the 2013 Axiom Business Book Awards in Business Reference
  • The Unofficial Guide to Fatherhood

See “Products” for details on www.transformationtom.com.  Book, eBook, and audiobook (From Fear to Success only) purchase options are also available on Amazon- Please click the link to be re-directed: Amazon.com

advice, anxiety, author, book, business, business development, Business Training, change, choose your words, choose your words carefully, Coach, coaching, communication, Communications, Confidence, control, development, Dowd, fear, gestures, growth, Inspiration, intentions, introduction, leadership, Management, Marketing, mental, Motivation, Networking, Personal, personal growth, physical, practice, preparation, prepare, professional advice, Professional Development, public-speaking, reiterate, relax, repeat, Résumé, Résumé Writing, speaker, speaking, strength, success, tense, tension, Thomas, Thomas Dowd, tom, Tom Dowd, training, transformation, transformation tom, transformationtom, visualize success

Post from Transformation Tom- Do You Know Your Value Proposition?: Chapter from “The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas”

December 1, 2018 / tomdowd / News
1

I had a manager who constantly asked me, “What’s the value proposition?” What she was really asking me was, “Why should I, or anyone else, listen to your proposal or opinion?” My responses to these questions were often, “Because it’s the right thing to do,” or, “Because it’s my opinion,” or many other generic reasons that missed the mark. I grew frustrated over time as I continued to develop the answers she sought. I would expand as time went on to include, “Because it saves us money.” She would respond in a manner similar to, “So what?” or, “Why would the customer care?” I would expand to include customer impacts, and she would tack on questions relating to how I thought the people who needed to execute the plan would respond, or what would those funding it get out of it.

I was getting a lesson in ensuring that I was formulating a plan that took into consideration what was needed from people who had a stake in the game. I was also learning lessons in formulating a well-prepared plan that would get people’s attention and create easier buy-in for implementation. I needed this manager’s approach to teaching me how to think things through so that I could present a compelling case that was easy to comprehend. I wanted to add this approach to my go-getter style. I charged forward full steam ahead to learn more.

Value Prop

I also needed to learn to consider unintended consequences. What might be good for a certain population may not always be good for the whole. How many times, as a customer, have you heard a service representative state, “Because that’s our policy.” To a customer, they are saying, “So what.” The customer is not always right; I had to consider the question of the customer’s impact on my own ideas because I didn’t want them saying, “So what.”

I remember far too many times when we created a new rule or process and simply wrote a memo, an email, or posted it to the company website for the people who needed to execute it. We expected the employees to simply embrace and implement the changes. The worst part, many times, was that we did it with very little input from the people who would be charged with doing the job each day. I can remember the times we did this and then had to retract it because we hadn’t anticipated the downstream effects of our decisions.

My manager was not being cryptic when she asked me, “What’s the value proposition?” She was just covering all bases. She needed to ensure that I had gained multiple perspectives and opinions, thought of various scenarios, and formulated the value attached to what I wanted to say. I began to think more holistically and was able to better articulate my points because she had a solid foundation. The value proposition methodology became an ironic lesson in itself. My own value was growing in the eyes of other leaders as she saw me implementing the feedback.

 

 

Thomas B. Dowd III’s books available in softcover, eBook, and audiobook (From Fear to Success only):

  • Now What? The Ultimate Graduation Gift for Professional Success
  • Time Management Manifesto: Expert Strategies to Create an Effective Work/Life Balance
  • Displacement Day: When My Job was Looking for a Job…A Reference Guide to Finding Work
  • The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas: Growing from a Cynic to a Professional in the Corporate World
  • From Fear to Success: A Practical Public-speaking Guide received the Gold Medal at the 2013 Axiom Business Book Awards in Business Reference
  • The Unofficial Guide to Fatherhood

See “Products” for details on www.transformationtom.com.  Book, eBook, and audiobook (From Fear to Success only) purchase options are also available on Amazon- Please click the link to be re-directed: Amazon.com

 

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Post from Transformation Tom- Play Music in the Background: Chapter from “The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas”

November 25, 2018 / tomdowd / News
0

Music

I am a huge fan of music. I enjoy many genres and have always enjoyed having it playing around me as much as possible. As the years have gone by, I have progressed from my first AM transistor radio with a one-ear primitive headset, to a clunky tape player I wore while mowing the lawn as a kid. My lifeguarding days in the summers were filled with the radio blasting and the swimmers around us all having a great time. I eventually put speakers in my office to play my CDs and transitioned to speakers for my MP3 player.

I am not sure why it took so many years for me to get past the “unprofessional” hesitation to play music in my corporate environment. We have heard that “music soothes the savage beast.” When I am grinding out the work on my own and am not in meetings or speaking to customers, I listen to my library of music. It calms my nerves, inspires me, motivates me, and just puts a smile on my face. I feel more in control and more alive when I am playing music softly in the background. Many times, I don’t even realize what song is playing. Sometimes, I often mouth the words to songs I know well. I listen to many different types of music depending on my mood, or simply listen randomly. In most cases, it doesn’t matter to me as long as there is music playing.

I found over time that people would come into my office and hear a song they had not heard in years and make an engaging comment. The music became a conversation starter in some cases or just personal memories for others. These conversations spurred a new event for a group of people I was working with. I started walking around the floor and would ask music trivia every day. This simple act had a positive influence on the team’s overall morale. Even people who were not interested in music began to yell out answers and surprised themselves when they knew more than they thought. We started to play music in the morning as people were coming into the office and found that there was an official One-Hit Wonder Day in September each year that we began to celebrate. In group settings, we tried to vary the mix of music to include the interests of everyone. We used it more in group celebrations and played it lightly in the background while everyone worked throughout the day. I found that music as a motivational tool was as effective as anything else out there.

I like all kinds of music, although I realize that there are picky music critics out there. They may need rock to run and soothing music to work with. The point is not the music you choose, but that I have found the therapeutic advantages of music in my own professional career. Music allows me to put myself into a state of mind that is strong and helpful in my workplace.

When playing it by myself, I usually don’t even realize I have it on in the background anymore. What is interesting, however, is that I do notice when there is pure silence; I know I like the music to motivate me. I find myself tense until I press the play button. Maybe I just like the company of another voice. I am not sure of the reason why. I just know the difference it makes in my mindset as I am working through the day. If you can find a way to do it, give it a try.

 

 

Thomas B. Dowd III’s books available in softcover, eBook, and audiobook (From Fear to Success only):

  • Now What? The Ultimate Graduation Gift for Professional Success
  • Time Management Manifesto: Expert Strategies to Create an Effective Work/Life Balance
  • Displacement Day: When My Job was Looking for a Job…A Reference Guide to Finding Work
  • The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas: Growing from a Cynic to a Professional in the Corporate World
  • From Fear to Success: A Practical Public-speaking Guide received the Gold Medal at the 2013 Axiom Business Book Awards in Business Reference
  • The Unofficial Guide to Fatherhood

See “Products” for details on www.transformationtom.com.  Book, eBook, and audiobook (From Fear to Success only) purchase options are also available on Amazon- Please click the link to be re-directed: Amazon.com

advice, anxiety, author, book, business, business development, Business Training, change, choose your words, choose your words carefully, Coach, coaching, communication, Communications, Confidence, control, development, Dowd, fear, gestures, growth, Inspiration, intentions, introduction, leadership, Management, Marketing, mental, Motivation, Networking, Personal, personal growth, physical, practice, preparation, prepare, professional advice, Professional Development, public-speaking, reiterate, relax, repeat, Résumé, Résumé Writing, speaker, speaking, strength, success, tense, tension, Thomas, Thomas Dowd, tom, Tom Dowd, training, transformation, transformation tom, transformationtom, visualize success

Post from Transformation Tom- Be Sensitive to Multiple Generations in the Workplace: Chapter from “The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas”

November 13, 2018 / tomdowd / News
0

We always need to be careful generalizing our assumptions when it comes to assessing employees of different generations. For the first time in the corporate world, we have four generations working side by side. How we manage the diversity of each of these generations is important. I have been in too many situations when managers made a blanket statement to a team of people consisting of multiple generations, and expected the same outcomes. We have to be cautious to manage each individual person and situation. Are you sensitive enough to know if generational differences in your corporate workplace are causing concerns?

We need to lead differently than we have in the past. We need to have a deeper understanding of what may be going through an employee’s head: what drives people, inspires people, motivates people, and frustrates people? At the same time, we must now seek to include how generations as a whole are perceived. Based on when people grew up, larger groups of individuals may react to circumstances and situations as a collective group differently. We have found that people of different generations are motivated differently, were reared by their parents differently, and grew up differently. These differences are what make us great. If we can capitalize on these differences, we can create a stronger bond through them and thereby create a stronger company.

Muiltiple Generations

We need to understand that we all grew up in different settings, locations, times, and cultures. My kids don’t know what it is like to walk into a bank. They only know about ATMs and watching Mommy and Daddy doing their banking online. These differences impact our ability to translate information at different speeds. Have you ever peered over the shoulder of a teenager while they were at a computer and tried to read the hieroglyphics of his or her instant messages or texts? It is hard enough trying to relate, let alone trying to read this new language. I at least know that, among other things, “POS” stands for “parent over shoulder.”

As a child of Generation X, I have become a parent with much more involvement in my children’s activities than generations before me. I have friends whose children chose to live in their parent’s homes longer than in past generations. We also have been part of a culture in which every child gets an at-bat in t-ball, and medals and certificates go to all participants just for showing up. There seems to be less emphasis on winning and losing earlier in children’s lives today, and competition is a secondary priority. I have talked with many parents who simply want to provide their children with the confidence to try new and different things, in order to help them figure out what they want to do as adults. There is some irony to this upbringing because of parental intervention.

This type of close supervision, guidance, and support create differences in when and how these people mature in their lives, including entry into the workforce. I have had parents call after interviews to see how their child did, or ask what decision I made. I even had a worker’s daughter write me a note asking me not to fire her mom. I guess parental involvement goes both ways. By the way, I had no intentions of firing the individual at the time, but she knew she was struggling and must have discussed it with her ten year old.

The intense conversations I had on my retention task force interacting with frontline people and managers of all generations helped me to understand what it took to retain them. The research provided me with plenty of factual and anecdotal information regarding managing various generations. The fact is that for the first time in any generation, many offices are filled with colleagues from the last four generations. We have the older generation (typically defined as people born before 1945), Baby Boomers (typically defined as people born in the mid-1940s to mid-1960s), Generation X (or the MTV generation—typically defined as people born between the mid-1960s to early 1980s), and Generation Y (typically defined as people born in the early 1980s or after).

We have situations in which people from the older generation are coming back into the workforce from retirement due to boredom or financial necessity. How do you train and manage someone who truly knows they are working simply for a paycheck, and do not plan to climb the corporate ladder? Or, did I just make my own blanket assumption with that statement? I don’t have the right to make the assumption that they don’t want to climb the corporate ladder, or that they aren’t just as driven as the twenty-two-year-old looking for the next manager’s opening. We have to be careful of biases and make no assumptions. What if the person has twenty years of management experience and their current manager is twenty-five, with only a year or two of experience? The multiple generations add a new complexity to the work environment and add new layers of sensitivities required from managers and non-managers alike.

None of the situations described or questions asked are easy to address and answer. However, knowing that there is a potential need to adapt our style based on generational wants and needs will make us stronger leaders and more effective professional colleagues. Managing, or even just working next to, a returning retiree or a new hire straight out of high school doing the same job has to be handled based on each individual first and foremost, with a quick balanced glance into the overall generational consideration. Each person will have different goals, different experiences, and different expectations of the business and manager. Once we understand this and act on it appropriately, we will be ahead of the game.

Generation Y has been in a technologically fast world their entire lives—some seem like they were born with a cell phone in their hand. I have found that many Gen Y individuals are often looking for a fast-paced and flexible environment. A manager may have to go out of their way and be creative to keep someone from this generation occupied and moving. Gen Y is also known for constantly looking for positive and reinforcing feedback. When a manager screams at a Gen Y person for a small mistake, it may make a person who is always on the go and looking for constant stimulation simply not return the next day to work. The manager must assess the situation and may need to be prepared to invest a lot more of their time and effort to ensure that they are keeping up that stimulation, providing the attention and praise that individual may be thirsting for.

A manager must also be flexible and understanding. I once had a young man call out “well” because of a new video game release. He spent over ten hours staring at a television screen and playing the game with no guilt in the world for missing work. He came in the next day exhausted and slightly unfocused. But he came in. He respected me enough to tell me the truth and said he was taking the time afforded him by the benefits of the company. I think I would have kicked and screamed earlier in my career. I got a good chuckle and we went on with our day. That person went on to become a very successful technology expert in our company.

Baby Boomers are often identified as wanting to be defined by their job responsibilities. They value hard work and teamwork. Managers may need to be sensitive to putting them into more group-related functions, as opposed to assigning an independent task.

It is important to be careful not to stereotype. You should monitor and communicate regularly to get a feel as to whether these blanket assessments are accurate to the individual with whom you are working, or if that was just generational bias statements observed by common employee researchers. As a manager, it is critical to make your own individual assessment, but understanding some commonalities within generations may be the start we need in order to have an effective conversation. We should use our own observations to see if any of these so-called tendencies are accurate while we get to know each of the people working with us. The key message is to understand whether any of these factors impacted our decisions and actions regarding work assignment, management style, and how to drive the team towards a collective goal. As a colleague in the middle of multiple generations, I can look to build bridges and find creative ways for the most effective collaboration, training techniques, and partnership among everyone.

We have had generations who supposedly always question authority and the status quo. We have labeled certain generations as being constant multitaskers, disciplinarians, and so on. Each generation has had different backgrounds and influences, and each generation has its own visions, opinions, and ideas. We must also remember that individuals also have their own visions, opinions, and ideas.

We need to be aware of the generational differences as a whole and sit down with each individual to understand what their visions, opinions, and ideas are to weave together the tapestry of the team in order to make it stronger. You should consider generational groups’ opinions on many facets in a work environment, such as:

  • Flexibility—schedule, family situation, outside obligations
  • General      learning ability—fast learners, visual versus book
  • Coaching—give direction and tell them to go do it versus hand-holding
  • Work/life balance expectations—weekends, nights, single parents
  • Feedback and motivational style—constant encouragement, hands-off, handwritten encouraging notes, team functions

We must always seek to build trust among the various generations and gain mutual respect for each other’s strengths. We must not make any assumptions or generalizations. We should be flexible in understanding everyone’s backgrounds and individual contributions to maximize the strengths of one another while using our generational knowledge as a tool to build relationships and glean an understanding of the person as a whole. The company, in turn, will be given the gift of balancing the workforce with all generations in order to get the best of all groups.

 

 

Thomas B. Dowd III’s books available in softcover, eBook, and audiobook (From Fear to Success only):

  • Now What? The Ultimate Graduation Gift for Professional Success
  • Time Management Manifesto: Expert Strategies to Create an Effective Work/Life Balance
  • Displacement Day: When My Job was Looking for a Job…A Reference Guide to Finding Work
  • The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas: Growing from a Cynic to a Professional in the Corporate World
  • From Fear to Success: A Practical Public-speaking Guide received the Gold Medal at the 2013 Axiom Business Book Awards in Business Reference
  • The Unofficial Guide to Fatherhood

See “Products” for details on www.transformationtom.com.  Book, eBook, and audiobook (From Fear to Success only) purchase options are also available on Amazon- Please click the link to be re-directed: Amazon.com

adaptable, advice, anxiety, attrition, author, be different, book, break, build a network, business, business development, Business Training, change, Coach, coaching, communication, Communications, Confidence, control, development, discrimination, Dowd, example, excuses, fear, feedback, flexible, gen x, gen y, generations, gestures, growth, hard work, Inspiration, lead the parade, leadership, live, Management, Marketing, mental, millenials, Motivation, network, Networking, orator, parade, Personal, personal growth, personality, perspective, physical, practice, preparation, prepare, present, prioirities, professional advice, Professional Development, public-speaking, relax, Résumé, Résumé Writing, retention, set an example, set exmple, smart, speaker, speaking, stage, strength, success, tense, tension, Thomas, Thomas Dowd, tom, Tom Dowd, training, transformation, transformation tom, transformationtom, try, visualize success; live in the present, work hard

Post from Transformation Tom- Lead the Parade: Chapter from “The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas”

November 6, 2018 / tomdowd / News
0

In the early 1990s when the word “clueless” was popular and I was in my early days on the phones talking with customers, a peer of mine looked over at another teammate of ours and said, “Some people lead the parade, some people watch the parade, and some people don’t even know there is a parade going on.” His reference for this peer was the latter. He was saying the person was “clueless” in a descriptive manner, but he was right. The person came to work each day and many times we wouldn’t have been surprised if he didn’t know what day it was. He was in a constant fog and seemed to let the world around pass him by. It was hard to describe, but the fog was not about attention to detail or intelligence. He seemed to come to work, do his job to the minimum (not coast, because that actually takes effort to slow down), and went home. Sometimes, I wondered if he even remembered coming to work after he left. His cluelessness could only be accurately described as not even knowing a parade was going on.

I imagine in most corporate and professional settings, your colleagues, your management, and your customers depend on you to do your job well. However, it can be more than doing well at your own job. You can be the leader of the parade. Be a leader strong enough to motivate more people to get in the parade—regardless of your position in the company. You are surrounded by people who may be coasting along professionally hoping to do no more than the minimum. You have an opportunity to maximize your own performance and the performance of others.

You can assist in leading the company by staying informed about your business, and sharing what you learn with the people around you. You can read and watch the news about industry updates, and overall national and global events. You should also stay informed with internal company news when it is available, to give you a good idea of what is going on in your surroundings. These surroundings are not just physical space; you should also be keeping up with current events, business relationships, organizational changes, personalities, styles, idea generation methodologies, meeting preferences, and routines.

You can be part of the parade by asking questions and being curious. You can take the lead by sharing the information you’ve gained with others. The information is great for your own learning and development. You become a leader when you share your own development with others and allow the information to keep on giving. You can share stories via email, or talk about interesting business information during downtimes rather than discussing the most recent sitcom or sports. These types of conversations can spur new ideas for your business. You can also add to the conversation by sharing your best practices. You might call this, “Have a clue, get a clue, and share the clue.”

I have been involved in many meetings, especially conference calls, in which people were obviously not engaged. The disengaged population is often multitasking. Besides the people who readily admit they are multitasking (you would be surprised at the number of people who come right out and tell me), there are the people who don’t say a word during the entire meeting, other than to say hello in the beginning and goodbye at the end. The multitaskers also are the obvious ones who say, “Huh?” or “Can you please repeat the question,” when they hear their name directly. Some are bold enough to say, “Johnny and I were just instant messaging and I didn’t catch all of that.”

Ryan Buxton cited in 2009 a new study from the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences that found that multitasking may do more harm than good. The article states, “Multitaskers are more susceptible to memory interference by irrelevant details, according to the study.” The effort to move from one topic to another and the exertion required to return where you were impacts the true retention of information gathering for multitaskers. I won’t be a hypocrite and say that I have never done it. However, since I’ve limited my multitasking, I have found myself asking what just happened in a meeting much less than I had in the past. I will say that my concentration level and my engagement has grown substantially since I made a concerted effort to concentrate on one task, one meeting, and one conversation at a time. I became more knowledgeable about what was going on and could react and take action in the conversation. Much of my success can be attributed to my effort to reduce my multitasking. I found myself taking more of a leadership role in many phone calls than I previously would have as an inactive listener.

We all have the opportunity to step up and lead the parade at times when there are stale or unproductive meetings. Although it may be difficult at first, try to professionally disregard hierarchies during the times when no one is stepping up. What I mean by this is that leaders are born during a crisis, or when there is no clear roadmap to get there. Be proactive by creating the roadmap and developing solutions yourself if they are not clearly in front of you. In a meeting, this doesn’t mean just taking over or dominating it. It means assisting with the meeting facilitation in order to achieve the purpose of that meeting. In some cases, the purpose itself is unclear. Start with questions of the audience pertaining to what they want to accomplish and massage that information until you find a clear direction. You can also lead by turning meetings into brainstorming sessions, in which you can ask open-ended questions and facilitate dialogue, as needed. Don’t wait for someone else to do it—everybody’s time is valuable and you are simply looking for that value.

If you are not leading the discussion, you can at least take an active interest in a meeting and be ready to answer questions, assist the dialogue, and offer ideas or suggestions. You are already invited to the meeting; you might as well make it productive. If you feel the meeting is not worth it or is unproductive, particularly if it is part of a long-standing series, speak up. There may be other people in the room or on the phone who feel the same way. I realize that this is easy to say, and tough to do. However, try it and you will start to gain a comfort level and see the true impact you can have. Your fellow employees will see that you are only looking out for everyone’s precious time, and this should increase their respect for your courage.

We have all most likely worked at one time or another with people who were constantly late for or missed meetings, lost track of time, derailed conversations to fulfill their self-interests, waffled at decision time, or never made a decision. All of these situations and personalities can cause frustration, confusion, and relationship tension that grows over time. However, many times, these are just the people who don’t know that the parade is going on around them and can’t even hear the band playing. Next time you are in a meeting or on a conference call with several people, look around and actively listen. Ask yourself, “Who is leading the parade, who is in the parade, and who doesn’t even know a parade is going on?” Then, choose to be one of the few to lead the parade.

 

 

Thomas B. Dowd III’s books available in softcover, eBook, and audiobook (From Fear to Success only):

  • Now What? The Ultimate Graduation Gift for Professional Success
  • Time Management Manifesto: Expert Strategies to Create an Effective Work/Life Balance
  • Displacement Day: When My Job was Looking for a Job…A Reference Guide to Finding Work
  • The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas: Growing from a Cynic to a Professional in the Corporate World
  • From Fear to Success: A Practical Public-speaking Guide received the Gold Medal at the 2013 Axiom Business Book Awards in Business Reference
  • The Unofficial Guide to Fatherhood

See “Products” for details on www.transformationtom.com.  Book, eBook, and audiobook (From Fear to Success only) purchase options are also available on Amazon- Please click the link to be re-directed: Amazon.com

adaptable, advice, anxiety, attrition, author, be different, book, break, build a network, business, business development, Business Training, change, Coach, coaching, communication, Communications, Confidence, control, development, Dowd, example, excuses, fear, feedback, flexible, gestures, growth, hard work, Inspiration, lead the parade, leadership, live, Management, Marketing, mental, Motivation, network, Networking, orator, parade, Personal, personal growth, personality, perspective, physical, practice, preparation, prepare, present, prioirities, professional advice, Professional Development, public-speaking, relax, Résumé, Résumé Writing, retention, set an example, set exmple, smart, speaker, speaking, stage, strength, success, tense, tension, Thomas, Thomas Dowd, tom, Tom Dowd, training, transformation, transformation tom, transformationtom, try, visualize success; live in the present, work hard

Post from Transformation Tom- Build a Network: Chapter from “The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas”

October 27, 2018 / tomdowd / News
0

Brian Uzzi and Shannon Dunlap tell an introductory story in their study in the Harvard Business Review article, “How to Build a Network,” about the well known Paul Revere as an historic figure in America. They then ask the question about the reader’s familiarity with William Dawes. Apparently, he and Paul Revere rode from Boston on April 18, 1775, in separate directions with the same goal of letting everyone know about the beginning of the Revolutionary War. I say apparently because I had no idea who William Dawes was. The point the authors were making was how much more effective Paul Revere was in his networking ability.

Our society and culture have a great willingness to socially network through Facebook, LinkedIn, texting, and many other means. We have exponential links to good friends and colleagues, and are even willing to connect with many people we barely know—and in many cases people we don’t know at all. However, social networking has evolved into its own culture and comfort level for people of all ages. When it comes to networking within your own company, I have found an uncomfortable hesitation among the employee base. We are willing to socially network with virtually millions, but we do not go beyond our own boss or our boss’s boss when it could help our career immensely.

When discussing and presenting networking, I often ask how many are in mentor relationships. I usually get a decent response. When I ask the question, “How many of you have met with your mentor within the last month?” most hands go down. I think we feel the comfort of saying we have mentors, but many of these relationships quickly become inactive or dormant. We should maximize all mentor relationships as a networking springboard. Specifically, we should not only be gleaning advice and learning during these sessions, but we should always be asking questions, such as, “Who do you think I can meet with to learn about (fill in any subject here)?” and, “Do you think (fill in leader’s name) knows who I am?” If you have a mentor, make it an active relationship and use it to build your network. Why can’t we use the same tenacity for professional networking that we might with social networking?

I am not naïve enough to think that company employees do not sit around the water coolers and conference tables talking about people. Much of this conversation is comparing one person to another. Whether the judgments are performance-based, potential-based, or skills-based, these conversations are happening daily all around us. This comment is not to make you paranoid about interacting with others or about being yourself. The comment is to make you realize that each day presents an opportunity for you to promote yourself in the eyes of the people making decisions. It does not mean doing cartwheels up and down the aisles to get someone’s attention, but it should cause you to realize that you have a professional obligation to represent the company well, and also present yourself in a way in which you can be recognized and grow. First impressions are lasting. Lasting impressions may be all someone has when your name comes up in a conversation. The key message is to take a proactive approach to building your network and making others aware of what you have to offer.

During one of my mid-year conversations, my manager told me about a conversation that had taken place around a conference table when names were being discussed for future positions. She asked me, “How many of the fifteen leaders around the table did you know?” I thought I did well when I said I knew about twelve of them. She said, “That leaves three leaders you don’t know.” She then asked, “Of the twelve people you do know, do you truly know them, do you know of them, or do you just know their names?” I said I truly knew maybe half of them. Therefore, my revised number was six out of fifteen people who could adequately make decisions about my future. She said I had work to do.

We continued the conversation. She reversed the questions and asked, “How many around the table know you well enough to speak intelligently about you and what you’ve accomplished?” The number was embarrassingly low. She emphasized a point I already knew: I had work to do. I instantly built time into my calendar to meet with a senior leader once a month. Every time I have done this, I ask who else I should talk to, and every time I seem to get at least three more names. My list is long, but the effort is worth it and has been extremely beneficial in my growth. I received more calls from senior leaders in the first year of doing this than I had in the previous nineteen years.

My boss shared this story because she was almost burned. Her mentor was in on one of those conversations about future moves and my boss’s name came up. When her name was mentioned, her immediate manager said nothing. An extremely bright and talented individual was about to have her moment in the sun dismissed either because the manager did not like her, was in a bad mood, was intimidated by her own peers, did not hear the question, or simply just because. We can continue with the excuses all day long, but the point is that none of us can leave all of our eggs in our manager’s basket, even if we have the highest regard for that manager. The mentor stepped in and sang her praises. Do you know what your manager would say about you if he or she had a chance? Are you sure? If you do not know that answer, or you are not sure, get to know the answer. There should be no surprises (good or bad). Communicate with your manager…often. What if your manager called out sick that day? Make sure he or she is talking with others about you, too. It is all right to ask this question if you have built a strong relationship.

You need to set the tone for yourself on these types of settings to significantly increase the control of your own career. Most people are not doing enough to network because they are unsure of the value or definition. Networking is not “kissing up,” as some people like to put it. Networking is not even intentional job searching. Networking allows you to understand how to better maneuver through the complexity of the business and the culture by improving partnerships, building bridges, finding integration points, and sharing best practices. Additionally, networking is making you stronger in the eyes of the decision-makers and leaders. Unfortunately, all of this takes time and energy. I have found that people begin this trek only after they see a potential job opening arise. By this time, it is often too late.

When I started my first job in which I had no one reporting to me, I enjoyed the freedom of being on my own—until I realized that I had limited power to influence unless I networked and built partnerships. My job was the task force to assess employee attrition. I had no choice but to see the value of networking to achieve my goals to retain more people. I had to hit the circuit and speak to as many managers and frontline people as possible to ensure that I understood their opinions and feelings. Networking was beginning to get fun. There were points of views I would have never come up with on my own. I needed networking, and together with the management team, business partners, and frontline associates in other areas of the company, we were making a collective dent in reducing people voluntarily leaving our company.

So, after you come to the realization that networking is beneficial, the natural question is, “How do you start a conversation with someone you don’t know? They’re going to think I am crazy. How do I start?” The answer is simple. Be honest and straightforward. Explain what goal you want to accomplish in the meeting. The person you want to network with should understand if your goal is to learn a different part of the business, to meet someone new, to job shadow, or to job search. The reasons may vary, and all are good for your growth. The constant, however, is always coming back to building an exponentially expanding network—make sure this is clearly stated to the person with whom you are meeting. Networking, if done right, can and should work for you after the meeting has ended.

Two things made the difference for me when I first started networking. The first two people I spoke with told me to contact them in a few months to give them progress reports. I didn’t believe them or think it was a real request. When that incredible but nagging boss of mine asked if I had followed up with them yet, I said that I had not. I called them both later that week and found out they had truly meant it. When I did it, one of them said, “You made my day,” while the other said that he was excited about my progress and had already heard about some of my successes. The second thing that made a difference for me was when I thanked one of the people I networked with for his time and told him how much I had learned. He stopped me and said “thank you” to me for investing time with them. He told me that he got just as excited about meeting someone new and adding them to his contact list. In addition, he told me how excited he was to share his business story with others. One of my first network contacts said to this person, “You should talk to Tom at some point. I think he may have something to offer to you.” He said, “I already did, and I hired him.” I was not shopping for a job.

I now understand that the nature of one person talking to another is really one person talking to many others. It is funny how things work when you are proactive and assertive, and even push yourself outside your comfort level just a little bit. Dots quickly get connected and people in your network connect with people outside your network to become a part of it.

 

Thomas B. Dowd III’s books available in softcover, eBook, and audiobook (From Fear to Success only):

  • Now What? The Ultimate Graduation Gift for Professional Success
  • Time Management Manifesto: Expert Strategies to Create an Effective Work/Life Balance
  • Displacement Day: When My Job was Looking for a Job…A Reference Guide to Finding Work
  • The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas: Growing from a Cynic to a Professional in the Corporate World
  • From Fear to Success: A Practical Public-speaking Guide received the Gold Medal at the 2013 Axiom Business Book Awards in Business Reference
  • The Unofficial Guide to Fatherhood

See “Products” for details on www.transformationtom.com.  Book, eBook, and audiobook (From Fear to Success only) purchase options are also available on Amazon- Please click the link to be re-directed: Amazon.com

advice, anxiety, author, be different, book, break, build a network, business, business development, Business Training, change, Coach, coaching, communication, Communications, Confidence, control, development, Dowd, example, excuses, fear, feedback, gestures, growth, hard work, Inspiration, leadership, live, Management, Marketing, mental, Motivation, network, Networking, orator, Personal, personal growth, personality, physical, practice, preparation, prepare, present, professional advice, Professional Development, public-speaking, relax, Résumé, Résumé Writing, set an example, set exmple, smart, speaker, speaking, stage, strength, success, tense, tension, Thomas, Thomas Dowd, tom, Tom Dowd, training, transformation, transformation tom, transformationtom, visualize success; live in the present, work hard

Post from Transformation Tom- Don’t Let People Leave Their Manager, or the Company: Chapter from “The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas”

October 27, 2018 / tomdowd / News
0

Compelling research shows that people most often leave their manager, not the company. I spent almost two years solely dedicated to researching the topic of employee retention. I served on a one-person task force with a mission to “fix the attrition problem” we were having in our department of over two thousand people. As a call center, high voluntary turnover is somewhat expected, but my research found far too many easy ways to keep people. I invested a significant amount of time with management in the ten different sites in which we worked at the time. The goal was to ensure that I understood the root causes, and they understood the potential countermeasures to retain their people. It was clear that some managers needed to truly understand how delicate their relationships were with the people they worked with and how easily we lost good people. As an immature manager in my earlier days, I could empathize with a lack of understanding of the criticality of a strong bond.

Sometimes, managers of the people on the front line who deal directly with customers, for example, look only at their immediate team. If someone leaves, it’s no big deal—they will get someone new and move on. Outside of the investment expense and effort to retrain, however, we are at risk of losing the knowledge a person leaving had, and, worse, are allowing many of these great people to potentially move on to a competitor.

According to Leigh Branham in the book The 7 Hidden Reasons Employees Leave, she writes, “89% of managers said they believe that employees leave and stay mostly for the money. Yet, my own research, along with Saratoga Institute’s surveys of almost 20,000 workers… and the research of dozens of other studies, reveal that actually, 80 to 90 percent of employees leave for reasons related NOT to money, but to the job, the manager, the culture, or the work environment.” Beverly Kaye and Sharon Jordan-Evans stated in the book, Love ’Em or Lose ’Em that, “A 25-year-long Gallup Organization study based on interviews with 12-million workers at 7,000 companies also found that the relationship with a manager largely determines the length of an employee’s stay.” Both references clearly indicate how much impact a manager has on retaining an employee.

During my research, I found that employees typically don’t leave over an event, but add up multiple “little” events prior to making the decision to go. An employee may claim she left over a performance appraisal score, but it was most likely just the straw that broke the camel’s back. She was most likely formulating thoughts to leave long before that discussion. The decision to leave typically festers over time as people gradually change their thoughts of leaving into taking action. The time it takes varies from days to weeks to months and is contingent on many factors, including the economy, the presence of a reliable back-up plan, and the employee’s tolerance level with what is going on.

The employee often disengages from work responsibilities, culture, and management. This disengagement time frame will vary based on the severity of what the employee is up against, both personally and professionally. The responsibility clearly resides with the manager to identify the warning signs as far in advance as possible prior to a person making the commitment to communicate his or her intentions to leave. Once that announcement is made, it is most likely too late to save them. This is a key factor in knowing the people you work with and knowing when to intervene.

The organization has the obligation to invest the time and make the effort to save people who want to be there (and are performing or have the potential to perform). They obviously were good enough to hire, and deserve the effort. Sometimes, the person may just be in the wrong position. How many managers are willing to invest the time to find the right fit in the company? As an inexperienced leader, I remember saying, “Who needs that person anyway?” The company does. I have heartburn every time I think of the number of potential people who left the company on my account. I don’t think the number is too large, but anything more than zero is too many.

Once, a young woman said to me that she was having personal issues and needed to talk. I said that I would be glad to talk after I got back from my meeting. She said it was important, but I chose not to listen. When I got back from the meeting—which was not very important—the person quit, and I never heard from her again. She had been a consistent performer and needed someone to listen to her issues. I saw the obvious sign but did not attach the appropriate urgency to it. I’m sure a couple of minutes could have saved her.

I vowed to never let that happen again. A couple of years later, I received a message that a woman who had worked for me for a short period of time had quit without notice. She had come in to let us know and had already left. I took a chance and ran down to the Human Resources office and found she was wrapping up with them. I asked for a couple of minutes with her—a couple of minutes I could not have bothered with years earlier when I chose to ignore another pleading person. We spoke for a while. She was having personal issues at home and also felt she lacked the appropriate support at work since she was only an average performer. I knew she could perform well if she was focused. I asked her to go home and commit to coming back the next day, and we would work out a plan together. The honest and mutually direct conversation built a bond that grew as time went on. She became a consistent performer and eventually moved on to another line of business in which she became a top performer. I see her in the halls every once in a while and I burst with pride. I am proud of her staying with the company for an additional twelve years and still going. I am proud that I refused to allow my stubbornness, at the time, to allow her to leave. She was good for the company then and is great for the company now. I just didn’t know how much at the time.

Whether it is moving the person to another area, moving them to another manager, or working on building the relationship between yourself or an employee, the tough part is being attentive enough to see the signs and courageous enough to take action to save them. It is too easy to say he or she is just having a bad day and we’ll talk later or, worse, we’ll get another good person. Before you say, “Oh, well, ” you might want to first contact the people who need to invest in the recruiting to get them, the trainers who will teach them, and all of their new surrounding teammates who will invest time in bringing them up the learning curve. Make the effort to retain and save good people. The relationship between managers and employees is critical to everyone’s success.

 

Thomas B. Dowd III’s books available in softcover, eBook, and audiobook (From Fear to Success only):

  • Now What? The Ultimate Graduation Gift for Professional Success
  • Time Management Manifesto: Expert Strategies to Create an Effective Work/Life Balance
  • Displacement Day: When My Job was Looking for a Job…A Reference Guide to Finding Work
  • The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas: Growing from a Cynic to a Professional in the Corporate World
  • From Fear to Success: A Practical Public-speaking Guide received the Gold Medal at the 2013 Axiom Business Book Awards in Business Reference
  • The Unofficial Guide to Fatherhood

See “Products” for details on www.transformationtom.com.  Book, eBook, and audiobook (From Fear to Success only) purchase options are also available on Amazon- Please click the link to be re-directed: Amazon.com

advice, anxiety, attrition, author, be different, book, break, build a network, business, business development, Business Training, change, Coach, coaching, communication, Communications, Confidence, control, development, Dowd, example, excuses, fear, feedback, gestures, growth, hard work, Inspiration, leadership, live, Management, Marketing, mental, Motivation, network, Networking, orator, Personal, personal growth, personality, physical, practice, preparation, prepare, present, professional advice, Professional Development, public-speaking, relax, Résumé, Résumé Writing, retention, set an example, set exmple, smart, speaker, speaking, stage, strength, success, tense, tension, Thomas, Thomas Dowd, tom, Tom Dowd, training, transformation, transformation tom, transformationtom, try, visualize success; live in the present, work hard
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