Post from Transformation Tom- Stop Telling Me to Relax—It Only Makes Me Tense- Chapter “From Fear to Success: A Practical Public-Speaking Guide” from the section “The Anxiety”

October 30, 2023 / tomdowd / News

Nothing brings on tension more than someone telling you to relax. Before some important presentations, I remember good-intentioned people telling me to relax. I often would put my arms to my side and would instantly straighten up as my way to relax. I became as stiff as a board as soon as the word “relax” was used. I obviously wasn’t intentionally attempting to look tense in my efforts to relax, but nothing seemed to work as my shoulders stiffened.

If telling me to relax won’t work, then what does? Speak frequently. Those who haven’t made the determined leap yet to improve their public-speaking skills may do the opposite by avoiding every situation possible. I know, because I was one of them. The more I avoided the situations, the more intense the elevated anxiety would be prior to the inevitable time when I did have to finally speak publicly. I learned that I had to speak, and speak, and speak some more. I began to volunteer to present. Volunteers are often asked for, and, obviously, not everyone jumps at these requests. I also became proactive in contacting friends, family, and colleagues and asking to practice a speech in front of them. I have started many emails with, “I have an odd request…,” asking to practice in front of a group at work who had nothing to do with the topic I was talking about. I have found very few times when people have said no. My goal is to get to a point at which I look so relaxed that people don’t need to tell me to relax.

Thomas B. Dowd III’s books available in softcover, eBook, and audiobook (From Fear to Success only):

Down the Chute: A Toboggan Tale (children’s book)
Now What? The Ultimate Graduation Gift for Professional Success
Time Management Manifesto: Expert Strategies to Create an Effective Work/Life Balance
Displacement Day: When My Job was Looking for a Job…A Reference Guide to Finding Work
The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas: Growing from a Cynic to a Professional in the Corporate World
From Fear to Success: A Practical Public-speaking Guide received the Gold Medal at the 2013 Axiom Business Book Awards in Business Reference
The Unofficial Guide to Fatherhood

See “Products” for details on www.transformationtom.com. Book and eBook purchase options are also available on Amazon- Please click the link to be re-directed: Amazon.com

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Post from Transformation Tom- Practice Physical Preparation- Chapter “From Fear to Success: A Practical Public-Speaking Guide” from the section “The Anxiety”

October 23, 2023 / tomdowd / News

What do you do when the anxiety and panic have moved from a mental to a physical problem? You begin by playing mind games with yourself, and all of a sudden your heart is beating out of control, your hands are sweating, and your stomach is about to double over with the worry of being in the public eye. You must understand that you do have some control. Notice I wrote “some” and not “total.” As stated earlier, we need to accept the fact that the anxiety may never go away completely. However, can you use the built-up energy to your advantage? Let’s start with the easiest step—take deep breaths. I mean really deep. Not quick and shallow to say you did it, but deep down to your diaphragm. Next, find where the tension is building up. Is it in your neck, shoulders, or fingers? Like an athlete, begin to ease the tension by stretching out the parts of your body that need it most. By concentrating on relaxing the tension in specific sections of your body, you will ease the mental games and feel the physical tension dissipate.

Additionally, you should prepare ahead of time to minimize the physical symptoms for the presentation. This can be accomplished by getting plenty of rest and by avoiding caffeine. I found myself in front of over one hundred individuals at a presentation at the local YMCA when my hands and arms began to shake uncontrollably. Interestingly, I felt great that day and did not feel nervous at all. I realized I’d had a soda with caffeine in it a couple of hours before the event. Although I was not nervous, I was excited and found that when the building adrenaline kicked in, the caffeine decided to join in the fun.

Another way to stay limber and control your body is through exercise. In addition to having a normal cardiovascular routine that keeps your heart strong, you should try to exercise a couple of hours prior to the presentation, if possible, to get the blood flowing and your body stabilized. Some people like to use meditation and yoga as other means to prepare themselves. The final tip is to stay within as much of your own routine as possible. The routine adds further stability, due to your familiarity with what’s going on around you. This mental comfort will add to your physical comfort.

Thomas B. Dowd III’s books available in softcover, eBook, and audiobook (From Fear to Success only):

Down the Chute: A Toboggan Tale (children’s book)
Now What? The Ultimate Graduation Gift for Professional Success
Time Management Manifesto: Expert Strategies to Create an Effective Work/Life Balance
Displacement Day: When My Job was Looking for a Job…A Reference Guide to Finding Work
The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas: Growing from a Cynic to a Professional in the Corporate World
From Fear to Success: A Practical Public-speaking Guide received the Gold Medal at the 2013 Axiom Business Book Awards in Business Reference
The Unofficial Guide to Fatherhood

See “Products” for details on www.transformationtom.com. Book and eBook purchase options are also available on Amazon- Please click the link to be re-directed: Amazon.com

advice, anxiety, author, book, business, business development, Business Training, change, Coach, coaching, communication, Communications, Confidence, control, development, Dowd, fear, growth, Inspiration, leadership, Management, Marketing, mental, Motivation, Networking, Personal, personal growth, physical, practice, preparation, prepare, professional advice, Professional Development, public-speaking, Résumé, Résumé Writing, speaker, speaking, success, Thomas, Thomas Dowd, tom, Tom Dowd, training, transformation, transformation tom, transformationtom, visualize success

Post from Transformation Tom- Question if Fear is Really Fear- Chapter “From Fear to Success: A Practical Public-Speaking Guide” from the section “The Anxiety”

October 16, 2023 / tomdowd / News

Understanding the nature of fear is extremely helpful in getting past it. I am not a clinical expert who can diagnose fear’s exact root causes, but I can identify and relate with being outside my comfort zone. Anytime we are in a new situation, we may feel anxiety, fear, stress, discomfort, or whatever you want to call it. What are we afraid of? We may fear failure or embarrassment (will I be boring?). Do you fear this may lead to a poor performance? Is this driving you towards your own self-fulfilling prophecy? What if you turned fear around and recognized that it may actually be the rush of anticipation, energy, and excitement waiting to break out? Maybe deep down inside you can’t wait to be out there to have your moment with the audience. You may not feel this at first, but over time, you will understand that fear is similar to many positive feelings. When you are waiting in line for the big roller coaster, you get the same butterflies. It is an adrenaline rush that may be more about anticipation than actual fear of the ride. Could it be that your fear of public speaking induces those same feelings of excitement? Fear can be transformed—especially since it may not be fear at all. Maybe you’re simply feeling impatience and anticipation about sharing your message.

Thomas B. Dowd III’s books available in softcover, eBook, and audiobook (From Fear to Success only):

Down the Chute: A Toboggan Tale (children’s book)
Now What? The Ultimate Graduation Gift for Professional Success
Time Management Manifesto: Expert Strategies to Create an Effective Work/Life Balance
Displacement Day: When My Job was Looking for a Job…A Reference Guide to Finding Work
The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas: Growing from a Cynic to a Professional in the Corporate World
From Fear to Success: A Practical Public-speaking Guide received the Gold Medal at the 2013 Axiom Business Book Awards in Business Reference
The Unofficial Guide to Fatherhood

See “Products” for details on www.transformationtom.com. Book and eBook purchase options are also available on Amazon- Please click the link to be re-directed: Amazon.com

advice, anxiety, author, book, business, business development, Business Training, change, Coach, coaching, communication, Communications, Confidence, control, development, Dowd, fear, growth, Inspiration, leadership, Management, Marketing, mental, Motivation, Networking, Personal, personal growth, practice, preparation, prepare, professional advice, Professional Development, public-speaking, Résumé, Résumé Writing, speaker, speaking, success, Thomas, Thomas Dowd, tom, Tom Dowd, training, transformation, transformation tom, transformationtom, visualize success

Post from Transformation Tom- Practice Mental Preparation – Chapter “From Fear to Success: A Practical Public-Speaking Guide” from the section “The Anxiety”

October 9, 2023 / tomdowd / News

Can you visualize your own success? Do you believe—I mean truly believe—that the audience wants to hear your message? If there are people in the audience, than the answer to that question is yes. You must believe the audience is there for you. They want you to succeed or they wouldn’t be there. Dale Carnegie once said, “You can conquer almost any fear if you will only make up your mind to do so. For remember, fear doesn’t exist anywhere except in the mind.” Have you ever seen world-class athletes close their eyes and run through their performance in their minds? As mentioned in the “Tame the Beast” section of this book, if you’ve ever watched the Winter Olympics, you may remember camera shots of the skiers visualizing the course. You can see their head, body, and hands in the appropriate position as if they were actually on the slopes already. You can do the same thing with a speech.

My wise wife once told me to never ask a question you don’t want the answer to, such as, “Do you think that woman is pretty?” In one of my first district-level Toastmasters competitions, I must have been thinking of the early Olympics, where only amateurs competed. I overheard a couple of conversations and was surprised to hear that some of the competitors were professional speakers. I began to ask them about it while we were milling about before the big contest. I instantly convinced myself that I couldn’t compete at this level against these professional speakers. I was done before I started because I didn’t believe in my own success.

Additional mental preparation includes knowing who your audience is and who you are talking to. Are they a supportive Toastmasters audience where it is ingrained to applaud loudly? Have you done your due diligence to have a better idea of what you are walking into? Knowing who the audience is and what they may expect should help in your preparation, thus easing your fear and anxiety. The unknown is what often causes much of the angst. Reduce the unknown and you will build up your confidence level.

Finally, there is no right or wrong way to mentally prepare. As much as the many so-called experts opine about preferred styles and personalities, there are multiple ways to get our mental faculties ready for the big presentation. The fact that you are willing (although your mind may be saying otherwise) should tell you that you are well on your way. You may even find that once you pass the threshold of your peak fear, you actually enjoy your time in front of the audience.

Thomas B. Dowd III’s books available in softcover, eBook, and audiobook (From Fear to Success only):

Down the Chute: A Toboggan Tale (children’s book)
Now What? The Ultimate Graduation Gift for Professional Success
Time Management Manifesto: Expert Strategies to Create an Effective Work/Life Balance
Displacement Day: When My Job was Looking for a Job…A Reference Guide to Finding Work
The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas: Growing from a Cynic to a Professional in the Corporate World
From Fear to Success: A Practical Public-speaking Guide received the Gold Medal at the 2013 Axiom Business Book Awards in Business Reference
The Unofficial Guide to Fatherhood

See “Products” for details on www.transformationtom.com. Book and eBook purchase options are also available on Amazon- Please click the link to be re-directed: Amazon.com

advice, anxiety, author, book, business, business development, Business Training, change, Coach, coaching, communication, Communications, Confidence, control, development, Dowd, fear, growth, Inspiration, leadership, Management, Marketing, mental, Motivation, Networking, Personal, personal growth, practice, preparation, prepare, professional advice, Professional Development, public-speaking, Résumé, Résumé Writing, speaker, speaking, success, Thomas, Thomas Dowd, tom, Tom Dowd, training, transformation, transformation tom, transformationtom, visualize success

Post from Transformation Tom: Control and Prepare – Chapter “From Fear to Success: A Practical Public-Speaking Guide” from the section “The Anxiety”

October 2, 2023 / tomdowd / News

So, if the anxiety never fully goes away but can be controlled, how do we get there? Control comes with practice and preparation. Try to imagine me at my first state-level speech contest when I couldn’t remember the first line, but I could remember the second line. The couple seconds’ gaffe felt like it lasted a couple of hours. Then, imagine the moment when I had my shot to go to the World Championship Semi-finals, and I repeated a line two minutes into the presentation. In both cases, I actually gave two of the best speeches of my life, after the mistakes, because I knew I had lost the competition and just wanted to do the rest to prove to myself and the audience that I had a good reason to be there.

I had to change my preparation routine. I couldn’t just recite the lines in my car to myself any longer. I had to work on the presentation itself, including my gestures, my stage location, and my pauses. I needed to get out in front of more people. I attempted to contact every Rotary Club, Kiwanis Club, and Lions Club within a thirty-mile radius. I put videos on YouTube and asked for advanced feedback from well-established speakers. I involved my family more; in fact, I have received some of the most critical and useful feedback from my eleven-year-old, thirteen-year-old, and fifteen-year-old children once I asked them to become an active part of the process.

What I found with better preparation and practice was how to be myself. Before, I’d been trying to become an actor, or act like one of my role models. My enhanced preparation techniques and routines taught me to be me. I also found the best way to mitigate the anxiety was to practice as if it was the real presentation every time. This better practice technique was making me more comfortable in my own skin. Personally, I needed to make the speaking process natural. Counter-intuitively, practicing more intensely actually did make me more relaxed and improved my ability to be who I wanted to be on stage.

The following represent key factors to consider within your preparation regimen: (many of which will be explained in detail later).

– Write it out in full, or at least an outline to cover key thoughts

– Either memorize the whole speech or cut down to note cards, but don’t wing it

– When practicing, go through the entire presentation; even when you make mistakes, don’t stop

– Choose your words carefully, taking into consideration the order, the rhythm, and the intended impact

– Clearly mark the points to emphasize and/or repeat; write out your cues

– Practice in front of a mirror, friends, family, and colleagues

– Carefully add impactful physical aspects to the speech (e.g., facial expressions, gestures)

– Increase your presentation practice time and stage time; commit to it and speak frequently

– Get familiar with the setting

– Control what you can control (e.g., lighting, temperature, amplification, table/chair set-up)

– Be a student of yourself: videotape yourself, be open to feedback, play to your strengths, minimize self-caused distractions (e.g., paper shuffling, filler words)

– Use familiar experiences: who knows you better than yourself? Talk about what you know; share your stories.

Thomas B. Dowd III’s books available in softcover, eBook, and audiobook (From Fear to Success only):

Down the Chute: A Toboggan Tale (children’s book)
Now What? The Ultimate Graduation Gift for Professional Success
Time Management Manifesto: Expert Strategies to Create an Effective Work/Life Balance
Displacement Day: When My Job was Looking for a Job…A Reference Guide to Finding Work
The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas: Growing from a Cynic to a Professional in the Corporate World
From Fear to Success: A Practical Public-speaking Guide received the Gold Medal at the 2013 Axiom Business Book Awards in Business Reference
The Unofficial Guide to Fatherhood

See “Products” for details on www.transformationtom.com. Book and eBook purchase options are also available on Amazon- Please click the link to be re-directed: Amazon.com

advice, anxiety, author, book, business, business development, Business Training, change, Coach, coaching, communication, Communications, Confidence, control, development, Dowd, fear, growth, Inspiration, leadership, Management, Marketing, Motivation, Networking, Personal, personal growth, prepare, professional advice, Professional Development, public-speaking, Résumé, Résumé Writing, speaker, speaking, success, Thomas, Thomas Dowd, tom, Tom Dowd, training, transformation, transformation tom, transformationtom