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Post from Transformation Tom- Show Compassion: Chapter from “The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas”

July 30, 2018 / tomdowd / News
0

Show Compassion

In over twenty-five years of working in the corporate world, I have only called out sick two or three times. Early in my career in managing people, I would often comment on why the same people were always on the verge of being placed on corrective action for tardiness or illness. Each time someone called out, I had a cynical response assuming that there was some lack of truth behind why they called out.

I only thought in terms of what stage of life I was in at the time. Prior to being married and having kids, I didn’t understand why people couldn’t make arrangements to have someone else watch their children. When I got married, I was lucky enough to have a wife who stayed home and dedicated herself to raising our family. Why couldn’t their spouse take care of their children? I still had a one-sided view. When my kids were born, I was back to work in a week while other fathers were looking for twelve weeks. When I worked forty-five hours, fifty hours, and sixty hours per week, I didn’t understand why people couldn’t commit themselves to those same hours. I didn’t get it. I lacked the compassion and understanding of what others might be going through.

As part of my progress towards transformation, I began to have ‘personal’ meetings with my managers. I would periodically set up time and just talk about their families, interests, and hobbies. During these meetings, although it started off very hard for me, I refused to discuss business. I began to learn what motivated people and made them tick. I began to understand the passion people had for things outside of work. At the time, my passion was work. My passion, loyalty, and commitment to my company was the same passion, loyalty, and commitment many people had for their families, hobbies, and other things outside of work. I was beginning to understand.

I ran into someone I used to work with about five years earlier. He had moved to another state. He was still with the company and was visiting our office. We talked about the years when we had put in mind-numbing hours of overtime. I asked him if anyone even remembered that we had put in those hours. We both laughed because we knew the answer was no, and realized that much of it at the time was for non-productive show. The funny thing was that many of the leaders we were so emphatic about impressing were no longer even with the company. What we did remember was the fun we had, the people we touched, and the relationships we built—in simple terms, the things we should care about. When compassion is clear, the job will find a way to get done.

I think it sunk in when I sent an email to one of my direct reports. She was not in the office when one of her people called in sick, so I took the call. My previous cynical side of me would have questioned it. After I hung up, in the past, I’m sure I would have made up in my head the “real” story about why she had called out. Instead, I sent a short and simple email to her manager that read, “Penny’s horse died. I finally understand.”

 

Thomas B. Dowd III’s books available in softcover, eBook, and audiobook (From Fear to Success only):

  • Now What? The Ultimate Graduation Gift for Professional Success
  • Time Management Manifesto: Expert Strategies to Create an Effective Work/Life Balance
  • Displacement Day: When My Job was Looking for a Job…A Reference Guide to Finding Work
  • The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas: Growing from a Cynic to a Professional in the Corporate World
  • From Fear to Success: A Practical Public-speaking Guide received the Gold Medal at the 2013 Axiom Business Book Awards in Business Reference
  • The Unofficial Guide to Fatherhood

See “Products” for details on www.transformationtom.com.  Book, eBook, and audiobook (From Fear to Success only) purchase options are also available on Amazon- Please click the link to be re-directed: Amazon.com

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Post from Transformation Tom- Control What You Can Control (You Have More Control Than You Think): Chapter from “The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas”

July 22, 2018 / tomdowd / News
0

You should stop and ask yourself what you truly have control over. You may find yourself starting down a path of those things you can’t control, such as the weather and the stock market (at least not by yourself). You also can’t control whether or not other people talk about you, so you might as well give them something good to talk about. If you are part of a large organization, you can’t always control something happening in other parts of the company where you don’t have oversight. All of these uncontrollable factors may impact your satisfaction level, your frustration level, and your ability to make a difference. You need to trust that your teammates will get the pieces of their job done and be a good partner who will be there to assist when the need does arise.

You should focus on your own little world and the sphere of control you do have. Start with just thinking of you. You have control over your attitude, whether you take action, whether you speak up, and whether you want to offer your ideas. You may not be able to control the root cause of your stress and frustration, but you can control how you deal with that root cause.

There are plenty of factors to consider regarding what you do have control over. What is your patience level? What is your acceptance level that you can and will have an impact on the bigger picture? Are you open and willing to put yourself out there when you are not in your comfort zone? What is your acceptance to learning from your mistakes? How willing are you to put in the effort to transform yourself into someone in a better position to impact the things you can control?

I worked for a company in which people were very loyal and were leaders in the industry. As a whole, we were confident and convinced that nobody could run this type of business as well as we could. When the company was bought, it was devastating. Although the buyout saved us from ruin, we still had people walking around saying, “Who bought who?” There was a population of employees convinced that they were better than everyone, though this was just one reaction among many. Some people froze in fear of losing their jobs, while others took a more proactive approach by dusting off their résumés. I personally called a relative who worked for our new company. Her company had been acquired a few years earlier. Her advice was to control what I could control. She even mentioned that with a company this large, I might actually find more opportunities to thrive with a decent attitude. It seemed counterintuitive at the time, but she was right.

How could my small voice control anything in a company so large and that seem constantly in flux? I began by trying to understand the new company mission and culture. Although this seems basic, the old company had an extremely strong culture. Instead of bringing the best of both worlds together, some people refused to accept the new culture and outwardly spoke against it, and even made fun of it. This type of reaction can cause conflict and limit what is within your own control. I made an effort to embrace the new culture and openly speak about the opportunities in front of us. After a while, if there was still negativity, I took control by avoiding any unnecessary interaction with the cynics.

It was possible to bring over pieces of the old culture that worked, but only after we accepted the new culture and were open enough to adapt. I saw many people leave the company. Some left on their own, while others were caught up in redundant positions and asked to leave. This was not easy to watch. However, many were left in a state of shock and felt as though they lacked control over their destiny. The unknown and unpredictability were scary, and we truly did not know where we would all land. However, we could control the small sphere around us. We could control our effort, or ability to assert ourselves within the new company culture, and keep the best pieces of our business moving forward.

I came to the realization that the old company would not have survived without the acquisition. Although I, too, was loyal and knew we did many things right, I believe I adapted to the new company culture sooner than many others. There were many people from my past in the old company who I felt had held me back or had not given me an objective chance to succeed (perceived or real). Many of these individuals were no longer with the company, either by their own choice or through the new company direction. What did I have to lose? While some others were waiting for instructions, I found myself jumping in with both feet. I decided that I would give it a try and move on if I didn’t like it.

The openness to adapt was a boost in my own confidence because I knew that it was one of the things I could control. I started to enjoy it and stopped thinking about what negative things could potentially happen to me. I started thinking instead about the opportunities I could make for myself. I was controlling my attitude. I was having fun being in this unknown, non-prescribed new world. I was controlling my actions. I had new people listening to my ideas and opinions. I was starting to enjoy this clean slate and felt like I was making a name for myself more than I had in the previous sixteen years. As the full transition and buy-out was completed, I still saw people holding back and waiting for the next move to be made for them. Almost four years later, I still had conversations with people from the old organization who were still clinging to old habits and laughing at the new company culture. It was almost sad to watch because it was predictable that their success had reached its peak. My message wasn’t about full conformance; it was about belief in a new company that we now all worked for together. Hanging on to the old was not controlling what they could control. It would only hold them back.

I remember a conversation with an executive from the old company with whom I had worked on and off for many years. He commented on how he planned to stay low and do just enough to get by. His premise was that it was easy to get lost in a company that large and he could just hold on tight. I felt as if he had lost control of many things he could influence. He minimized his ability to control his attitude, his ability to lead, and his ability to make a difference. Several years later, he maintained this attitude, and he was let go. That was unfortunate. In the midst of what could have been a disastrous buyout of my old company and my potential long-term career, I found confidence and success because I took control of the things I could control.

 

 

Thomas B. Dowd III’s books available in softcover, eBook, and audiobook (From Fear to Success only):

  • Now What? The Ultimate Graduation Gift for Professional Success
  • Time Management Manifesto: Expert Strategies to Create an Effective Work/Life Balance
  • Displacement Day: When My Job was Looking for a Job…A Reference Guide to Finding Work
  • The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas: Growing from a Cynic to a Professional in the Corporate World
  • From Fear to Success: A Practical Public-speaking Guide received the Gold Medal at the 2013 Axiom Business Book Awards in Business Reference
  • The Unofficial Guide to Fatherhood

See “Products” for details on www.transformationtom.com.  Book, eBook, and audiobook (From Fear to Success only) purchase options are also available on Amazon- Please click the link to be re-directed: Amazon.com

 

 

advice, anxiety, author, book, business, business development, Business Training, change, Coach, coaching, communication, Communications, Confidence, control, development, differentiate, differentiation, diverse, diversity, Dowd, fear, goals, growth, impatience, impatient, inclusion, Inspiration, leadership, Management, Marketing, mental, model, Motivation, Networking, patience, Personal, personal growth, practice, preparation, prepare, professional advice, Professional Development, prove, public-speaking, Résumé, Résumé Writing, right, role, role model, speaker, speaking, success, Thomas, Thomas Dowd, tom, Tom Dowd, training, transformation, transformation tom, transformationtom, visualize success

Post from Transformation Tom- Write Down Your Goals…in Pencil: Chapter from “The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas”

July 15, 2018 / tomdowd / News
0

Pencil

I have heard on more than one occasion that an extremely small number of people have specific written goals—as low as five percent.  As another way to differentiate yourself, be among the five percent to lay out your path for success on paper. Whether it is personal, professional, academic, health, or any other aspects of your life, you should write out your goals.

The likelihood of you taking the appropriate actions to achieve the goals goes up exponentially when you have them written. The goals should be specific so you know if and when they have been accomplished. Each goal needs to also be aggressive or it is not worth shooting for. The aggressive goal, however, should not be so far out of reach that it is not attainable. You should set progressive goals so you can see the small wins piling up. You need to understand that you may not achieve one-hundred percent of them—at least on the first try. The idea that you can go back to achieve a missed goal may refine the quality and outcome of what you are trying to accomplish. The fact that they are written allows you to see your progress and creates action plans to attain them.

If you achieve your goals, you should build on those successes and set more goals. These goals should be expandable for future steps. For example, I wanted to progress up through all of the phone positions in my line of business, and then move on to the somewhat natural progression of assistant manager, manager, and beyond. The goal of what I wanted to accomplish was set.

In addition, I set timelines for when I wanted to achieve them. The timeline has always been the hardest part for me. I have always wanted to get to each of the next steps as quickly as possible. There were many hurdles that delayed my ability to achieve my goals and I missed many of my expected timelines.

When establishing timelines, you need to account for potential roadblocks. Not everything will be clearly laid out for you. As previously stated, there were the two times in my career when I was asked to move in the other direction, to lower roles, because leadership didn’t feel I was effective or prepared for the additional responsibilities. There were also the times I felt ready to move up but did not interview well. Regardless of the reasons, I needed to reset my goals.

Resetting the goals means many things. It might mean resetting the timeline to the same goal and staying on course. Resetting the goal may mean adjusting the goal metric itself to move in a different direction. This is not always the easiest thing to do, since you may be unfamiliar with the road you are looking down. As stated earlier, pull back on the aggressive timeframes, scale, or intensity of your goals, and set the goals in smaller increments. Again, the increments should be realistic and challenging. The key message is to write down your goals and know they will evolve. Goal setting should be dynamic and fluid. More than twenty years after leaving college as a communication major, I had no idea I would have gone through so many aspects of the financial industry. When you write out your goals, I would suggest using a pencil.

 

Thomas B. Dowd III’s books available in softcover, eBook, and audiobook (From Fear to Success only):

  • Now What? The Ultimate Graduation Gift for Professional Success
  • Time Management Manifesto: Expert Strategies to Create an Effective Work/Life Balance
  • Displacement Day: When My Job was Looking for a Job…A Reference Guide to Finding Work
  • The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas: Growing from a Cynic to a Professional in the Corporate World
  • From Fear to Success: A Practical Public-speaking Guide received the Gold Medal at the 2013 Axiom Business Book Awards in Business Reference
  • The Unofficial Guide to Fatherhood

See “Products” for details on www.transformationtom.com.  Book, eBook, and audiobook (From Fear to Success only) purchase options are also available on Amazon- Please click the link to be re-directed: Amazon.com

 

advice, anxiety, author, book, business, business development, Business Training, change, Coach, coaching, communication, Communications, Confidence, control, development, differentiate, differentiation, diverse, diversity, Dowd, fear, goals, growth, impatience, impatient, inclusion, Inspiration, leadership, Management, Marketing, mental, model, Motivation, Networking, patience, Personal, personal growth, practice, preparation, prepare, professional advice, Professional Development, prove, public-speaking, Résumé, Résumé Writing, right, role, role model, speaker, speaking, success, Thomas, Thomas Dowd, tom, Tom Dowd, training, transformation, transformation tom, transformationtom, visualize success

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