Guest Blog by Susan Trivers- If You Can Make a List, You Can Write a Speech

March 20, 2013 / tomdowd / News

I’m excited to have yet another well respected Toastmasters and gifted speaking coach share her expertise with all of us. Please feel free to share your thoughts and comments below! Susan- thank you for your contributions. For all of my Toastmasters friends, Susan was referenced in the most March 2013 Toastmasters Magazine article, “When Bad Speeches Happen to Good People.” Congratulations on all of your success, and thanks again!

If You Can Make a List, You Can Write a Speech

If you’re like most people I meet, you make lists every day. “To-Do” lists are a regular favorite. There are lists of activities; lists of things to take when you travel; lists of projects you’ve worked on.

The similarity between all of these lists is that you jot down one word or two and then you know the whole story behind those short words.

If you can make a list, you can write a speech. Why? Because just like these lists, each word you list for your speech represents content you already know. When you see the word, you know what to say.

The number one barrier to gaining confidence and success as a speaker is that you spend too much time writing and not enough time practicing and rehearsing. My clients regularly report that when they practice/rehearse 10 times or more, they actually feel their own improvement grow from within.

My pie of time approach recommends allocating 40% of your time on content and 60% of your time practicing and rehearsing. You can easily hit the 40% mark if you use your list-making skills to create and organize your content. Don’t write everything out; simply rely on the one or two word note to prompt yourself to speak about what you already know.

Download my Write a Speech Now model to help you get ideas about the kinds of varied content you should include on your list.

Post your thoughts in our comment box about how list-making will help you with speech writing.

Contact Information:

Susan G. Trivers

https://www.susantrivers.com/
susan@susantrivers.com
703-790-1424
1651 East Avenue, McLean, VA 22101

Project Confidence- Guest blog by Award-Winning Business Author Blanca M. De La Rosa

March 1, 2013 / tomdowd / News

I am very excited to include a special guest blog from an award-winning business author. I met Blanca in January at the 2012 New England Book Festival where “Empower Yourself for an Amazing Career” won the business category. I found we hit it off and have very similar beliefs and opinions on professional growth. I look forward to a continued partnership–thank you for the contribution. Keep reading to learn how to “Project Confidence,” and check out her website and book. Your opinions and comments are encouraged!

Blanca M. De La Rosa

Empower Yourself For An Amazing Career

www.blancadelarosa.net

bmdelarosa@msn.com

(877) 594-9981

Project Confidence

Self-confidence is one of the key ingredients required for a successful career. Projecting a lack of confidence and knowledge will construct barriers that may impede the growth of your career. You need to project confidence and never think that you are not as good as or as smart as the people around you because of your cultural background or education. Have faith in your skills and abilities and do not allow the cultural mantra of the organization or your peers affect your self-confidence.

Some people appear to be born with self-confidence, but most have to work at it. Self-confidence can be developed and nourished. However, getting it right is a matter of striking a perfect balance between low-confidence and over-confidence that is realistic and represents your true ability.

Self-confident individuals:

Do not waste too much time worrying about what others may think and instead focus on the task at hand.
Feel comfortable with themselves, their abilities, strengths, and weaknesses.
Are willing to take risks, readily admit their mistakes and learn from them.
Graciously accept compliments recognizing a job well done without downplaying or exaggerating their role in the situation.
Know how to set and attain reasonable goals.
Take the time to appreciate and celebrate their success.

It is human nature to experience an occasional secret fear that one is not good enough. You may feel that everyone else has it all together and that you are the only one struggling to keep it together. Don’t let a false sense of self and the opinion of others affect your self-worth and self-esteem.

You can look up to people, but only if it is not at the expense of your own self-worth and self-esteem. Regard these people as your role models, people you want to learn from and emulate. And, as you grow in knowledge, strength, and status, stand beside them as your peers.

Be presumptuous enough to believe that you are just as good as, as smart as, or better than those around you and that you have a significant contribution to make.

Don’t talk yourself out of greatness. Lord knows that there are probably plenty of people around you who are already working on that.

“Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.” — Eleanor Roosevelt

Guest Blog Post by Professional Inspirational Speaker and Trainer Steve Gamlin: “Are You Clearing Hay Fields with a Weed-Wacker?”

January 9, 2013 / tomdowd / Leadership, News

This past Summer, just after my fiancée moved back to New Hampshire, I faced a dilemma. The back lawn at Tina’s house hadn’t been mowed in quite some time, and the neighbor’s plants had decided the grass was greener in her yard. The root system of the vines next door had invaded…with a vengeance (or is that a vine-geance?).

The Jurassic lawnmower in the shed had last been started during Clinton’s first term. It took just 2 pulls before the cord frayed and snapped, leaving me on my butt with the handle and 6 inches of rope still in my grip.

I instantly pronounced Tyrannosaurus Rust officially ‘extinct’.

Dejected, I trudged to the car for my 100-foot extension cord so I could power up the electric weed-wacker. Needle in a haystack? That was me, as I was essentially trimming a hayfield one flailing swipe at a time.

After completing about 1/3 of the back yard in an hour (and dripping with sweat) Tina and I (mostly me) made a decision: it was time to invest in a new lawnmower!

A quick trip to the hardware store (with a cool coupon, Tina’s a smart shopper) meant a ride home with an extra passenger: a bright and shiny new Husqvarna self-propelled mower. After minimal assembly, and a check of this unfamiliar yard for rocks and branches, I was off!

It took less than 15 minutes to finish the job, completely and effectively.

Ever feel you’re trying to do YOUR job with inefficient tools?

Is your support team suffering a similar fate?

Are you lost in a huge ‘business’ hayfield armed only with a weed-wacker?

Perhaps this week you can invest in yourself, and your tool arsenal, becoming more efficient and empowered.

Could your technology use some updating? Has a new book or audio product been created just for your industry?

Is there a conference which could serve to inspire and educate your team members to play at the top of their game?

Please do not continue weed-wacking in the endless hay-field of Big Business and the Web!

Here’s to YOU, my friends: may you honor your mission by arming yourself with more effective tools.

The most powerful one is your mind. That’s a good place to start.

Fire it up and clear out everything that’s in your way, powerfully and efficiently!

Steve desribes himself as,”I am a regular guy from a blue-collar background who followed his dreams, survived the speedbumps and a few rollovers.” Steve is a professional speaker, entertainer and author,with a goal to become the most AUTHENTIC movtivational voice which has ever graced a stage. As a fellow member of Toastmasters and the National Speakers Association, I can say that Steve’s voice is not only authentic, it is being heard by many audiences. I applaud Steve’s success and wish to share his AUTHENTICITY with my own audience. Thanks for your contribution Steve! Please feel free to share and add your comments.

Steve Gamlin’s contact information:

P.O. Box 5

Goffstown, NH 03045

(603) 560-3360

Steve@SteveGamlin.com

www.SteveGamlin.com

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Post from Transformation Tom- Manage Your Time, Don’t Let it Manage You—Part I: Chapter from “The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas”

January 4, 2013 / tomdowd / News

Manage Your Time, Don’t Let it Manage You—Part I

I have found in my over twenty years of professional experience that poor time management skills are one of the biggest pitfalls for leaders. I am going to intentionally repeat myself: poor time management skills are one of the biggest pitfalls for leaders. I took organization training over eighteen years ago, and I understood at that time the power of managing my day and beyond. More importantly, I realized I couldn’t survive in the business world until I could manage the swirling days, weeks, and months around me. By actively staying organized, I found I could dedicate the appropriate time to urgent and important items, spend more time developing people, and yes, put out those dreadful fires that often come our way.

When you are running at capacity, the fire drill exercise will sacrifice something else that may need to be dropped. However, if you have full control and knowledge of your own capacity, you can not only do it right, but you have a chance to do it all, and more. Included in this section are highlights from an evolving organization course I have taught over the years for new and experienced managers. I have a positive reputation for being highly organized at work. Some call it being anal retentive or compulsive. However, very few people can remember me ever missing a key deadline.

First and foremost, people are the highest priority. Regardless of your job responsibilities or what is on your calendar for the day, people who work for you take the top billing. As a manager, how do you get all of the administrative work done if you are constantly bombarded with questions from your direct reports? Good managers can anticipate questions and concerns through staff meetings and team meetings. It is extremely important to lay out clear expectations and preparations, including what might be the best time to connect with you, what is on your plate for the day, and who to contact if you are not available. Being ahead of the game is also important. You can do this by anticipating common questions and put answers in your reports’ hands before the questions are even asked. Everyone wins.

Managers should also understand the most effective ways to present information to a particular audience. Knowing who you are presenting to and how well they will absorb the information is critical. How does your group like to be taught? For example, a manager might find success in asking open-ended questions to ensure clarity. Tossing facts and figures at a group of people and expecting them to remember can be difficult. There should be interaction and engagement from everyone. The group of people learning should feel comfortable, and the leader should invest the appropriate amount of time when it is all over. Sometimes in the past, I rushed information to people by talking at them, and was always surprised when I got a question later about the same subject. I have found it extremely helpful for time-management purposes to invest the time up front so that everyone learns and digests the information from the start. Group settings are extremely helpful in avoiding duplicate messages. If you are not a leader, you should ensure that this gets practiced by discussing this with your manager.

Leaders need to build time into their calendars for the unexpected. How can you do this if you don’t know what’s coming relating to those “I need it now” requests? If you are scheduled for an eight hour day, and your calendar is booked for that entire eight hours, it is guaranteed that you will not get everything done. The unexpected will happen during that time—I promise. I like to block off time in my day with follow-up items that occupy space on my calendar to cover loose ends. The blocks of time also allow flexibility if meetings go over or someone needs me for something important. These blocks of time are great for reflecting on past meetings, preparing for upcoming meetings, or conducting in-depth work.

You should also schedule time to get away from your desk. This builds in another block of time for the unexpected, and allows extra time for the flexibility to take a break and stay fresh. Below are some additional tips for the unexpected:

Schedule time for emails, return messages, etc. This minimizes your need to multitask and builds more open time. If you build an hour a day for this and it only takes thirty minutes, take advantage of the bonus time for other tasks.
Build in time for daily operations and be sensitive to potential impacts within your business. For example, in a call center, Mondays are often high call volume days. Managers are needed on the floor. Build that time on the floor into your calendar for non-meeting activities. Do not schedule your staff meetings during peak times, since the chances for interruption are high and a less productive meeting will occur.
Use miscellaneous blocks of time on your calendar for routine events that may not require a specific time. For example, you know you need two hours tomorrow to provide feedback to people on your team, or do a daily task like quality monitoring. You may schedule it for 10:00 A.M.-12:00 noon. The actual time is not as important as reserving the block of time of two hours. You can build in the flexibility to move this block of time through the same day as you need to as long as you remain committed to making it happen. Be careful of pushing it too late into the day, when you risk not completing it and are required to move it to another day. When you start carrying appointments over to other days, you run the risk of creating a bottleneck situation. For example, pushing the two hours to another day puts you four hours in the hole the following day.
Use recurring meetings to hold future times and dates. This habit gives people a heads up to reserve times and dates and should increase attendance to key meetings. It is respectful of other people’s calendars, since it will give everyone ample time to know what is ahead for them, and they can look forward to the same time and date each week or month.

One of the greatest things I did for my own sanity was to keep a pad of paper near my nightstand at home. How does this relate to time management? When random thoughts pop into my head at night, I write them down immediately. The benefits are as follows: 1) I don’t forget, thus I don’t waste time trying to remember, 2) I sleep better knowing I have immediately addressed my thoughts, 3) I have stronger ideas since I have reached the inner non-stressed part of my brain and can formulate a plan of action. All of this allows me to enter into my day knowing where and when things are happening, with a clear plan of attack to get it done.

Don’t be a slave to your calendar, but be committed to it and avoid constant appointment pushing. Consistent appointment pushing to another day is a red flag that you need to change the calendar process—it is either too full or you need to be more committed to it.

You should invest ample time in understanding your future calendar appointments. Organize tomorrow before leaving today. You should invest five minutes before leaving for the day. I make very few promises, but I will make an exception. I promise you will sleep better knowing exactly what’s on your plate tomorrow. You should actually schedule this five minute event for the end of day as a calendar appointment. Five invested minutes will save you hours later. Additionally, organize the next week every Friday. Look out a week at a time. Again, schedule this Friday event on your calendar. Finally, organize each month with a few days before the current month ends. Look out a month at a time. Once again, schedule this event on your calendar. This shouldn’t be done on the thirtieth of the month—it should be done around the twenty-sixth to avoid surprises in the first week of the following month. The outlook a month ahead of time allows you to determine what normal routines you need to conduct each month and how to spread them accordingly. When we have certain obligations that are required on a monthly basis, I find as high as ninety-five percent of the people on any given month, if given the choice, will do the task at the end of the month. Be in the minority and get things done before they are scheduled and due.

We are in a culture of procrastinators. I am on the opposite end of the spectrum, almost to the extreme, viewing it as the antithesis of procrastination. I want tasks out of the way as quickly as possible so that I can concentrate on other things. I front load certain events in the first or second week of each month to get them out of the way, and allow flexibility in case other events come up that need to be accomplished prior to the month ending. There have been many times when something did come up at the end of the month, and a number of leaders did not meet their requirements as a result. Keeping ahead of your schedule allows for the unexpected. As I was going through my career growing pains, it was effective time management that often kept me afloat.

Additional reading specific to time management: The Productivity Pro- Laura Stark https://www.theproductivitypro.com/blog/2013/01/how-your-standards-can-slow-you-down/#respond

Thomas B. Dowd III’s books The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas: Growing from a Cynic to a Professional in the Corporate World (Honorable Mention at the 2012 New England Book Festival) and From Fear to Success: A Practical Public-speaking Guide (2013 Axiom Business Book Awards Gold Medal Winner and 2013 Paris Book Festival Honorable Mention) are available under “Products” on www.transformationtom.com. Book and eBook purchase options are also available on Amazon- Please click the link to be re-directed: Amazon.com

eBook purchase options include the following- Click link to be re-directed:

Amazon.com

Barnes & Noble (Nook)

Smashwords

Kobo

Sony eBooks

Apple Store (iTunes)

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Post from Transformation Tom: Funeral for a Friend

December 20, 2012 / tomdowd / News

In the wake of the tragedy at Sandy Hook in Newtown, CT, I can’t help but reflect on a Toastmasters speech I wrote earlier this year. Although nothing I can say can bring those people back, maybe I can bring a little solace by sharing an inspirational speech about a 10 year old, a goldfish, and the small steps needed to start to move forward. My hope is that this can provide something, even a little strength, to carry on.

YouTube clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wGR3qNvXpeA

Funeral for a Friend

A cardboard matchbox casket placed between two candles sat on a simply decorated table with the hand written note, “Loving Fish, Loving Friend.” You see, Clide, spelled with a “I”, died.

To quote the English poet Gayles Brandreth, “Oh wet pet,” is how my wife started the celebration of Clide’s life. My twelve-year-old daughter Erin said, “I didn’t like the way Clide ate slowly…but I loved the joy he gave Tatum,” followed by a friend, “I never met Clide, but whenever I was around Tatum, I could tell she really loved him and he loved her.”

This is the story of how my 10 year old daughter Tatum, made the three-week life of a two inch fish memorable. Grief often makes us nervous and uncomfortable. Tatum reminds us about the resilience of children and their ability to teach us that sometimes strength and clarity comes from our unique ways of dealing with death on our own terms.

Tatum hatched a plan in the summer. She strategically placed a crayon drawing of a goldfish in a glass bowl. The picture screamed, “I want one.” No words needed. It almost worked. The parental concerns of a short-life span and inevitable disappointment had us remain steadfast. Next came the one word Christmas wish list, “Goldfish.” Santa surprised us all when he left a bubbling tank with a perky little orange and white fish. The simple joy of a little girl’s smiling face as she sprinted down the stairs past a mountain of presents to get her first glimpse of Clide showed us how wrong we were.

She routinely fed the fish and truly bonded with her fat and happy swimming friend. Then, a change- a few white specks. No big deal, they looked like bubbles- a day later- a turn for the worse as he lay on the tank floor with very little movement.

A recovery was unlikely. The helplessness sank in as a pleading Tatum pulled her mattress off her bed and put it next to the tank. While Clide struggled, there were desperate cries for help through the night, “Please don’t let him die…I love him too much.” You can’t dismiss the grief of a child, but you can watch their spirit and adaptability in amazement.

The expert diagnosis was quick and clear- not the typical over-feeding of the goldfish. No, it was worse. He was cleaned to death.

Tatum took it in stride and set in motion a celebration of life for the ages when she handed out funeral invitations. It read, “If you’re able to attend, please prepare a speech to share.” My speech writing skills have never been more tested. Tatum said he was to be buried in the yard. Apparently, flushing was not an option. My first thought was how was I going to dig a hole in the ground in Maine in January?

While “Sad Fish Song” played in the background, a group of family and friends gathered. There was some older sister snickers, but the speech themes were constant–the joy Clide brought to Tatum. After a rousing rendition of Amazing Clide, where the group had to be reminded that it was a funeral, not a concert- my vulnerable youngest daughter delivered the eulogy.

I ran downstairs on Christmas day, I wanted to shout hip-hip hooray, Because before me I got a bright little fish, I’d train him, feed him, and have but one wish, That he loved me as much as I loved him, And how I loved to watch him swim, I remembered the day his scales turned white, It really was an awful sight, He was so still, His mouth turned black, It hurt me so much, Just to think back, The next day I ran home to check on him, That dreadful sight destroyed my grin, All I wanted to do was hold his fin, At his last breath, my heart cried, For my dear beloved Clide had died

Our reluctance towards pet ownership came to fruition. Yet, in a poignant, profound, and beautiful way, Tatum dealt with loss and mortality through laughter, tears, and creativity. We all have resilience in us. Remember Tatum and release your inner child in your own moments of grief and know that you will get through it in time, on your terms.

With plastic champagne flutes filled with sparkling cider, a final salute was made to the departed as we munched on Gold Fish crackers.

A new day, a new spirit –dealing with death her way. A small container of Clide’s water sat on the window sill as Tatum happily talked with her new fish “Gil.”

funeral, funeral for a friend, newtown, sandy hook, Thomas Dowd, Tom Dowd, tragedy, transformation tom

Post from Transformation Tom- This I Believe

October 13, 2012 / tomdowd / News

This I Believe… by Thomas B. Dowd Sr. (my grandfather)

The following was aired in the 1950’s by my grandfather (my namesake) on the Edward R. Murrow’s radio show, “This I Believe.”

The basis of my belief is shaped by a most unforgettable character, a woman. The story begins with a little girl, 2 years of age, as she stood in a country cemetery on a raw December day holding her 4-year-old brother’s hand and listening to a kind priest as he prayed over the grave of her mother. It is quite possible that she didn’t understand this experience until later, but there is no doubt that she felt it with the instinctive wisdom of a child. When the prayers at the grave were completed, this little girl was separated from her brother and taken to an orphanage where, for seven years—long as they must have been to her—she, with other orphans, was shepherded up and down church aisles in the hope that somebody would be attracted to her and single her out for adoption. One Sunday, shortly after her 9th birthday, the girl was taken into the hearts of a couple who had little to offer of material things, but a world of love to give. Her philosophy of life, because of the kindness of these two, was predicated on a philosophy of thankfulness, and she dedicated her life to doing for these two people each thing done, bringing to her happiness and joy, and to them material comfort. This little girl grew with dignity to the state of womanhood and married. She found a new and lasting kind of love with her fine husband. And although the first years of this union were filled and strained with worries, they carried on, doing things as one. Their oldest child died at the age of 12; there were business difficulties; there was a continuous struggle to get on the road of stability and success. The sky never seemed to be completely cleared of its clouds of illness and worry. All this necessitated tremendous personal sacrifices, which were so readily made, so that their children might not be only clothed and fed, but also would be educated. Her dominant philosophy, so developed in these trying years, was an understanding of God’s ways. She was a happy mother, tender and considerate of her husband and children, unselfish in everything she did. Her spirit of optimism and the joy and pleasure she derived from the littlest of things made her stand apart from all others that I have known. She had a trust in God and man—one as the giver of all things, and the other as a provider of material and earthly things. This trust was a beacon to all who knew her. In all things she did, she looked for no personal reward, but, as in the case of such a living philosopher, she received a reward that was above all expectations. Her belief in God as the giver of all things was exceeded only by her realization that the time would come when she would be turning to Him for eternity. With her family gathered about her deathbed, she listened to their prayers and those of her oldest son, a priest, as he asked God to accept her spirit. And just as he pleaded “Dear God, into thy hands I commit the soul of my mother,” she passed on to eternity. If one were not impressed with this person who embodied the humanitarianism of the Good Samaritan, he could find, in my opinion, no place in the world of good thinking people. That I was impressed, and that I have attempted in some way in my personal life to follow the concept of the goodness that was hers, shouldn’t be too hard a task, since this unforgettable woman was my mother.

Original Radio Broadcast: https://thisibelieve.org/essay/16508/

Thomas B. Dowd III books The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas: Growing from a Cynic to a Professional in the Corporate World and From Fear to Success: A Practical Public-speaking Guide are available under “Products” on www.transformationtom.com. Book and eBook purchase options are also available on Amazon- Please click the links to be re-directed: Amazon.com

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Post from Transformation Tom- Rising Above Perceptions by Bob Ferland

September 28, 2012 / tomdowd / News

The following is an inspirational Toastmasters speech written by Bob Ferland, who has learned to rise above any challange thrown his way….

Rising Above Perceptions

How do we define ourselves and others? How do we rationalize what is truly important?

Do we define ourselves by our appearance or looks?

How about physical strength, abilities, intelligence, or intellect?

What about material wealth?

All of the following factors play some role in who we are individually; as well as how we view others. It is up to us to personally prioritize what is truly important.

Let us begin by looking at first impressions. Based on how we feel when we first see somebody, we may unintentionally evaluate by appearance, or even by socioeconomic status, considering how neat or clean a person appears, as well as the condition or style of attire they are wearing. Whether we like to admit it or not, we are all prone to treating somebody who appears to be better off with a higher level of respect compared to somebody who does not appear to be as well off.

How about other factors, such as physical strength and abilities? How often do we inadvertently treat somebody better who is in shape, compared to somebody else who does not appear to be as physically fit.

We are all guilty of having preconceived ideas about people within certain areas, based on our own perception of normality.

What do you think about when you think about me?

Growing up with a disability, I’ve dealt with a number of perceptions. Let me help you rise above your perceptions.

No matter how hard I tried to walk normally, or play along as a youth with others, I had the perpetual feeling that no matter how hard I tried, I would never be able to participate or even compete at the same level as others without adversity. Negative thoughts that others potentially had about me was also a concern.

It is challenging to deal with things beyond your control.

However; allowing personal trials to govern your life, inhibiting you from reaching your full potential is NOT an option!

Since the age of five, I had a physical therapist who pushed me very hard. I learned how to set goals at a tender, young age. Each session consisted of muscle stretching and strengthening, as major leg muscles were spastic or perpetually tight.

Following the stretching, we would work on functional exercises; which would be little to no effort for a normal person, but was consistently an intense workout for me. These exercises involved standing out of a chair or attempting to walk within a straight line.

What made each of these exercises exceptionally challenging, was the fact that after my spastic muscles were stretched, I no longer had the strength, previously depended upon. I needed to supplement with my opposing non-spastic muscles, which are very weak, seeing the non-spastic muscles do not have an opportunity to work, consistently being overpowered by my spastic muscles.

From late grammar school through high school, my physical therapist had me work on running laps within the gymnasium. This was challenging enough with a balance problem. After each therapy session, having my leg muscles aggressively stretched, no longer able to utilize spasticity, I had no choice but to supplement with my weaker non-spastic muscles.

Each therapy session happened on a weekly basis. I would also train in the gym, nearly every day, prior to school, pushing myself to go further and further.

Initially when I first started, I was barely able to successfully complete half a lap around the gym, prior to feeling completely winded and no longer able to continue.

By the end of the school year, I was able to accomplish 10 laps around the entire gymnasium, even after feeling the effects of a cumulative therapy session.

Growing up and even now, I work so much harder than just about anybody else to simply get around.

In addition to physical therapy for my legs, I spent time in high school, college, and even today working out at various gyms on my upper and lower body.

Considering my past, I thrive on aggressive personal goals. My workouts begin with strength training, where I need to achieve 12 repetitions, twice in order to achieve goal at moderate weights.

The end of each workout is dedicated to cardio, spending “quality time” on the Elliptical. This simulates a natural running pattern that I am unable to acquire on my own. When I first started on the Elliptical, I used a consistently low ramp level with no resistance. My standard cardio goal was a full mile within 20 minutes. As time progressed, I steadily increased the ramp level and now run on Interval, where the ramp level and resistance changes every two minutes from ramp level four with no resistance to ramp level 10 with resistance level 8. Yes, I am tired after each workout!

No matter how challenging life becomes, I have learned to rise above, remaining focused on maintaining a positive attitude, even within challenging circumstances.

Life gives us two options.

One option is to accept defeat by quitting early.

The second option is to persevere and push through, no matter how challenging the situation appears.

The only limits that truly exist are the limits we establish for ourselves.

To summarize this speech, we all perceive things differently upon looking at ourselves and others. We may even think we are better off than somebody else, based on our own abilities or qualities we possess. I simply ask that we all look beyond what is seen on the outside and attempt to look at the heart of each person on the inside, determining what truly drives and motivates each of us to accomplish our daily and lifelong goals.

Thank you!

– Bob Ferland

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Post from Transformation Tom- Lessons in Sportsmanship

September 26, 2012 / tomdowd / News

Lessons in Sportsmanship

Yes, the replacement NFL referees have missed some calls, and according to some onlookers even cost the game for a team (i.e., Green Bay Packers). We scream at a bunch of people willing to step up to do something who do not have the skills to do the job—yet they’re trying. What are we teaching each other? Are we saying no one is allowed to try, no one is allowed to make mistakes, and if you’re not good enough, get off the field before you are berated and belittled.

On the same day as the Monday Night Football, what should we call it? Debacle? Or, as stated on NBC’s Today show this morning “CRISIS”, my youngest daughter’s sixth grade soccer team took the field for a game. The way the local school league and teams are set up, they are consistently at a disadvantage, and will play older, stronger, bigger, and better teams. The likelihood of winning a game is slim. They know this going into the game, yet they all show up to play. More than halfway through the season, the team has scored one goal, and has not won. Yet, they sprint out on to the field each time.

I’ve had displayed my own cynicism in the past and have made my own comments about how everyone today gets a ribbon, medal, trophy, and certificate for participating. Although I still believe some of this has watered down our children’s drive and motivation in some competitive situations later on in life, it has taught many people the importance of teamwork and sportsmanship. If there was ever a more deserving group of children for the pat on the back for trying, it is this team.

This sixth-grade team comes to practice every day looking to improve. They respect the referees; they respect the other team, and understand the integrity of the game. I asked my daughter how the game was after a 10-0 loss, and she said, “It was fun.” That’s also the same answer she gave me after her basketball team lost 74-4. How can you not smile after hearing a genuine answer like that and hope all of us can live our lives that way.

After work on Monday, I asked the same question and expected a similar answer. Instead I was given a description of events from her (and later confirmed with several others) that was disturbing. After being down 6-0 at halftime, the opposing coach mercifully pulled the top players. The game was a little more competitive, but a couple more goals were scored. The opposing players apparently began mocking the losing team, and were laughing out loud at the players. The opposing coach was on the sideline and said nothing. His first act of pulling the players was admirable, but this is when the real teaching of his team should have taken place. It didn’t.

Instead, as the opposing goalie began to dribble up the field, he was encouraged by his team to continue. He dribbled the length of the field and was able to take a shot. The coach’s reaction was a flippant comment made to his goalie along the lines of, “That’s enough, and we know what you can do.” The laughter continued.

Last year, as a soccer referee of a local YMCA eight-to-ten year old soccer league, I was getting fed up with some of the parents and youth sports coaches striving to win some championship that’s as important to them as the World Cup. It boiled over toward the end of the season when I handed (OK, tossed) a whistle to one of the screaming coach mid-way through a game who felt my refereeing wasn’t good enough. I told him to do it himself if he felt he could (he responded back and said he could). Yes, it was unsportsmanlike on my part, but a message was sent at that time to all of the parents, team, and coaches that screamed, “I’m just a volunteer trying my best, and I don’t deserve that kind of treatment.” I went back on the field after some prodding to a very cordial rest of the game.

I share this story because the sixth grade losing coach became tired of this too. She was worn-out with the antics and pulled her team off the field to avoid any further embarrassment—not the score, but the other team’s actions. Her kids were trying their best and don’t deserve that kind of treatment. According to observers, our coach screamed about unsportsmanlike-conduct from the team and that it was not necessary. The only misstep the coach took was when she made a comment out loud saying, “This sucks.” She instantly knew she made a mistake and apologized, including sending an incredibly written email sent to the parents explaining her motives, and saying sorry again for all of the events. The referee’s only comment through the entire ordeal was that she would be reported to the league for her language. The other opposing coach was not reprimanded and not even approached to calm down the situation. I realized that I started this article with don’t yell at the refs, but we are all part of this learning experience.

The kids obediently left the field and appreciated their own coach’s actions. Needless to say, emails and calls were exchanged with the athletic directors. It was clear that the opposing athletic director didn’t condone these acts, and assured everyone that swift and appropriate action would be taken. This wasn’t some blanketed apology that we hear in the news so often for a misguided Tweet, or random comment that was caught on tape. The genuine desire to make it right was felt by all involved and was appreciated.

The next day, the team had another game. They lost. In reality, they won as soon as they took the field. I want certificates of participation handed out for everyone! I want kids to play the game to try their best and learn about teamwork. I want the primary purpose of the game to be the teaching of sportsmanship—the teaching that comes from parents, coaches, and players alike. Stop screaming at the refs. Stop ridiculing the players. Stop the madness as coaches striving to win an eight inch plastic trophy that will sit in the schools display case gathering dust. Start having conversations about trying something new, trying your best, be willing to make mistakes, loving what you’re doing, teamwork, camaraderie, and any other individual and team goals you may want to instill.

I’ve failed to mention that this group of kids from the town next door will end up going to high school and playing on the same teams in just a couple of years. I can’t wait for that day of learning. When asked how the game was on Tuesday, my daughter responded with, “It was fun.” Gotta love her attitude.

children, lessons, nfl referees, NLF, referees, sports, sportsmanship

Post from Transformation Tom: Call it Irony (article appeared in District 45 Toastmasters Newsletter)

September 21, 2012 / tomdowd / News

Call it Irony

I was full of pride when Donna Tutty sent me a note about an opportunity to present to the Maine Waste Water Control Association (MWWCA) at Sugarloaf Resort on September 13, 2012. The group was described as very technical and trade-oriented, and they were looking for something a little out of the ordinary. The audience was used to job-specific presentations, and the organizers were looking to add something fresh to the curriculum when they asked District 45 to send a representative to discuss public speaking.

As Toastmasters, we have been taught to prepare our presentations so that we know the material inside and out. In fact, part of my presentation “From Fear to Success” was geared around practice and preparation in order to reduce anxiety. I had no idea how much the training would come in handy.

I got a good night’s sleep, went for an early run while the sun was rising, and felt great about representing our district. I went to the event two hours early to meet the organizers and to network with the organization. I was instantly greeted by several people who made me feel welcome. Today was going to be a good day.

In my preparation a few weeks before the event, I had asked the organizers about microphones, but they said they weren’t needed. I went to the room where I would be presenting to practice my speech and to get a feel of the acoustics and the stage. Let’s start with the sound. I instantly found some echoing in the open room chamber that also had a wide-open staircase and vendors on the floor below causing a significant amount of white noise. I knew I had to adapt my voice since there were no doors to close.

I still had some concerns with the room set-up. Part of my list of questions for the organizers weeks prior to the event included whether or not there was a lectern. The organizer said there would be one in the room, yet when I showed up, it wasn’t to be found. There was no need to panic, because I still had ninety minutes before my presentation. I found someone on the facility staff who said he would take care of me. He found a half lectern that could go on top of a huge table that would have been right in the middle of my anticipated stage. As an alternative, he found a shelf used for ski boot storage that he could rig up. The set-up had the lectern at chin height. While my facility friend was being creative, I found a different set of workers and I asked if they had any other ideas. Within minutes a lectern was rolled my way.

Unfortunately, my lectern dilemma was just the beginning of a good day that could easily slip away into panic and stress as I tried to resolve my issues. There were to be dual presenters before me who were sitting behind laptops at a large table that needed to be moved prior to my speech. The table was easy to move but the multiple cords and projector that sat right in the center of my supposed stage was not only tripping hazards, they were in my intended speaking path. It didn’t help that the screen for my slides was tucked awkwardly into a corner. When I moved the projector out of my walking path, the projected slides were keystone in shape and too small for the audience to see. As the moderator and I attempted to resolve the slides, we found that the auto adjustments on the projector itself weren’t working properly. We attempted to resolve the problem by tucking pads of paper under one side of the projector. We were right up against the time for the first presenters, so we needed a break for about an hour. This left me with thirty minutes to resolve the issue prior to my presentation. Was I nervous? No, because I had a Plan B.

When I had the chance, I hooked up my own projector and we were back in business. Unfortunately, the moderator’s laptop was now having problems. Time for Plan C. I connected my own laptop and we were once again back in business. As for speaker introductions, many of us have learned to not only write our own, but to share it with the moderator to ensure he or she meets the presenter’s expectations. She said she liked my introduction. However, she planned to cut it short and adlib to allow more speaking time. I told her how diligent Toastmasters attempt to be with timing, and that I had actually accounted for her to read to entire introduction. She reluctantly agreed, until she went to grab her copy and couldn’t find it. I reached into my folder and handed her the extra copy I had for “just in case” situations. This allowed me the time to share how I preferred to have my introduction delivered. She seemed relieved and appreciative.

The actual presentation could not have gone any better. The audience was receptive and the Toastmasters’ training proved its value easily. I know a few years ago how panic-stricken I would have been and how the road blocks could have held me back from getting the message I wanted to the audience. Instead, I was able to be flexible, offer solutions to the problems, and even incorporate the problems into the presentation to enhance it. As for the moderator’s concern about going over our allotted time, for my hour-long presentation, I finished in 59 minutes and thirty seconds. Thank you Toastmasters’ training.

A presentation about practice and preparation to reduce anxiety and lead to success was put into action before it even started—call it irony. As a Toastmaster you have significant control over your own successes. Be ready for the unexpected and don’t be surprised when the unexpected appears. Be confident in everything you have learned, or will learn, from Toastmasters’ training. Your communication and leadership skills will ensure that any moment of fear can turn into success.

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