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Post from Transformation Tom™- My Beautiful Funeral: Chapter from “Displacement Day: When My Job was Looking for a Job”

October 10, 2014 / tomdowd / News
0

My funeral

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Introductory Chapter to “Displacement Day”

 

Have you ever imagined your own funeral? Who will do your eulogy? Who will be your pallbearers? Will anyone show up or even care? I attended my own funeral. Let me explain. But before I do, I need to disclose that no one died or was injured in the making of this narrative.

On a typical day when I was happily playing solitaire and checking Facebook at work, I got the call. June 6th—the anniversary of D-Day. Not World War II; I’m talking about Displacement Day—the day my twenty-three-year job was eliminated. Just like that, it was over. Hard work, tenure, and skills weren’t part of the cost-cutting decision.

On my ride to work on that fateful day, a news report announced that 175,000 jobs had been added in the United States, making the unem­ployment rate 7.6 percent. On my ride home I was on the other side— one of 11.6 million unemployed. To grasp the magnitude, take the entire population of New York City, and then add another 4 million people. The call was like a gunshot to the head. My work identity was gone im­mediately. I was being put to rest and people were preparing for my fu­neral. Condolences rolled in, hugs were bestowed, tears flowed.

What will people say when you’re gone? An old manager once asked me if I ran through a wall, would people follow? At the time, I didn’t know the answer. I needed to know the answer. That was a lifeline—a time for action. Fast-forward six years later to D-Day. I don’t recall a more calming day. It was a day of self-reflection…a chance to hover over my dead body and ask if my life and career were a success. The notes flooded in. “Tom, you’ve touched me more than you’ll ever know, personally and professionally.” “Tom, we love you… This IS your next speech.” I ran through a wall, and people followed.

How was I going to tell my three daughters that Dad was sent to the farm, just like my childhood dog? A spending freeze on shoes, clothes, and pizza may be worse than death for teenagers. My middle child’s head tilted down at a mourner’s angle and a small tear rolled down her cheek as if it was about to drop onto my coffin. My youngest daughter held me in a bear hug as if it was the last time ever, while my social-media-con­scious sixteen-year-old daughter told me that all responses to relocation questions on Facebook were to be “no”—as if I had a choice. The denial, the anger, then acceptance—the exhaustive feeling of having my family watch my demise. However, my support system refused to let my casket be nailed down as they put in a crowbar made of emails, phone calls, and leads. I was being resuscitated.

How many of you have prepared a will? A will reduces stress and cha­os. The run through the wall question six years earlier was my wake up call, but I didn’t realize then how it would prevent my professional pass­ing. My eyes were opened wide as I started to build an extraordinary ca­reer-saving and life-changing network. In Keith Ferrazzi’s book Never Eat Alone he notes, “Build it before you need it.” Real relationships built over the years provided me meaning, and are the reason for my success now. I wasn’t six feet under. I was six degrees from Kevin Bacon, or at least six degrees from my big break. I was alive. My support system was my CPR.

My job loss became a celebration of life, not my funeral. It remind­ed me how deep my love and my appreciation really are for my family, friends, and network. I was not defined by my job. I defined my own life and was going to do my funeral my way. No, I’m not going to belt out Sinatra. I lost work but found me. I used my displacement as reaffirma­tion that when I leave this earth, I’m leaving with no regrets. Think about your own funeral—when your spirit is hovering over the mourners, will you leave them something to mourn and celebrate?

So, let’s go back to the question: Have you ever imagined your own funeral? Who will do your eulogy, who will be your pallbearers, who will care? My eulogy was shouted out by the many key people in my network who blew my trumpet for me and gave humbling accounts of the person I had been, and who I had become. My pallbearers carried me when I couldn’t go any further. The overwhelming flood of calls and messages showed who cared. I have to admit that I started writing this narrative im­mediately after I got the call, and I wrote the end too. We all know we’re going to die—I don’t mean that “end.” I mean the speech ending, where I get a job. I wrote it before I had a job secured. It wasn’t overconfidence, it was just a belief that I was surrounded by an ironclad network that re­fused to stop giving me the oxygen I needed to survive. Are you ready to see your own funeral? I lived to see mine, and it was beautiful.

 

 

 

 

Thomas B. Dowd III’s books Displacement Day:  When My Job was Looking for a Job (Honorable Mention at the 2014 Paris and New York Book Festivals), The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas: Growing from a Cynic to a Professional in the Corporate World (Honorable Mention at the 2012 New England Book Festival),  From Fear to Success: A Practical Public-speaking Guide (2013 Axiom Business Book Awards Gold Medal Winner and 2013 Paris Book Festival Honorable Mention).  Audiobook version of “From Fear to Success” is also available! See “Products” for details on www.transformationtom.com.  Book and eBook purchase options are also available on Amazon- Please click the link to be re-directed: Amazon.com

Do you know what Avanoo is?  Two-to-three minute eLearning programs that can change your life.  Here are my latest projects:

When Your Job is to Find a Job—and Yourself

Manage Your Time–Don’t Let It Manage You

MP3 Downloads of “From Fear to Success:  A Practical Public-speaking Guide” are available at Apple iTunes, Amazon, Rhapsody, Emusic, Nokia, Xbox Music, Spotify, Omnifone, Google Music Store, Rdio, Muve Music, Bloom.fm, Slacker Radio, MediaNet, 7digital, 24-7, Rumblefish, and Shazam “From Fear to Success” MP3 on CD Baby

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Post from Transformation Tom™- Manage Phone Presentations Well—Chapter “From Fear to Success: A Practical Public-speaking Guide”

October 3, 2014 / tomdowd / News
0

phone presentations

 
[audio:https://www.transformationtom.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/05Chapter-67.mp3]”From Fear to Success” Audiobook= Manage Phone Presentations Well
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As part of a very large organization, I have been asked to present
many times over the phone. These conversations have advantages and
disadvantages. Let’s start with some of the advantages. You can surround
yourself with notes and not worry about being as discreet as you
would have to when in front of large audiences. You can also typically
have more control over the flow of the conversation.

However, one pitfall is not being able to physically observe audience
reactions, which makes it more difficult to adjust the presentation
mid-stream. You may be able to hear some laughter, sighs, or groans,
but what happens when the phones are on mute and all you hear is
silence? You may need to adapt your style, asking for more engagement—
to make sure you have kept the audience’s attention—through
verbal responses or, on webcasts and meetings with the appropriate
platform, through voting-type buttons for opinions or answers. You
also may have the inverse, when a phone is not on mute but the listeners
have chosen to multi-task and you hear keyboards clicking, phone
conversations, dogs barking or, worse, personal information you wish
you hadn’t heard. As a speaker, you should set expectations ahead of
time, such as whether you would like the presentation to be interactive
or have the audience hold questions and answers until the end. You
can ask that everyone put their phones on mute, if needed. You should
also know whom to contact to disconnect a distracting line, if possible.

Finally, you need to ensure that the presentation itself is adaptable
to the phone. The first professional development conversation I did
for a large group of people over the phone was a flop. I did not change
it from my dynamic face-to-face presentation, so my use of the stage
became irrelevant, and my gestures were useless. I had to depend more
on open and inviting questions for the audience and more on voice
inflection to share my passion. The phone can reach a wider audience
and be just as impactful, as long as you know that some revisions and
varying preparation are required for the best outcome.

 

 

 

 

 

Thomas B. Dowd III’s books Displacement Day:  When My Job was Looking for a Job (Honorable Mention at the 2014 Paris and New York Book Festivals), The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas: Growing from a Cynic to a Professional in the Corporate World (Honorable Mention at the 2012 New England Book Festival),  From Fear to Success: A Practical Public-speaking Guide (2013 Axiom Business Book Awards Gold Medal Winner and 2013 Paris Book Festival Honorable Mention).  Audiobook version of “From Fear to Success” is also available! See “Products” for details on www.transformationtom.com.  Book and eBook purchase options are also available on Amazon- Please click the link to be re-directed: Amazon.com

Do you know what Avanoo is?  Two-to-three minute eLearning programs that can change your life.  Here are my latest projects:

When Your Job is to Find a Job—and Yourself

Manage Your Time–Don’t Let It Manage You

MP3 Downloads of “From Fear to Success:  A Practical Public-speaking Guide” are available at Apple iTunes, Amazon, Rhapsody, Emusic, Nokia, Xbox Music, Spotify, Omnifone, Google Music Store, Rdio, Muve Music, Bloom.fm, Slacker Radio, MediaNet, 7digital, 24-7, Rumblefish, and Shazam “From Fear to Success” MP3 on CD Baby

 

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Post from Transformation Tom™- What Now: LAST Chapter from “The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas”

September 26, 2014 / tomdowd / News
0

Now What

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is the last post of chapters from “The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas.”

 

So I have laid out over twenty years of my professional lessons for you.
You now see the many mistakes I have made, and the arduous chore it
was to make the vulnerable decision to open up and be willing to learn
from them. I have changed for the better. Whether others believe that
statement or not isn’t important. It is how I feel about myself. I feel that
my transformation has made me a better colleague, a better worker, a better
leader, a better manager, a better teacher, a better learner, and, more
importantly, a better person. I feel less stressed each day that I come into
work, because I have the confidence to take it all on. I have my bad days
like everyone else. But, I have more good days than bad. I have a confidence
level that I have never had before and feel like I have built a network
of people who believe in my abilities.

 

I have to admit that my original thoughts to write this book were just
a dream—and not one of those childhood dreams that I always wanted
to do. I had just lost a big Toastmasters competition in Canada. I use the
word “lost” because it was a competition, but in reality, I won big. I had
great enjoyment around the conference portion of that weekend, during
which I met many great people, some of whom even thought I was a life
coach. I got caught up in telling people how much I had grown over the
years. I enthusiastically shared my transformational experiences based
on how much I had learned from my mistakes.

 

I was so impressed with my competitors. I asked the winner, Joey
Grondin, if he would be my mentor and help me develop my speeches.
He graciously said yes, and we continued to build on our relationship.
The next day, I also won a door prize: Joey’s book and CD. Call it fate or
coincidence that I won a prize that would provide me more confidence.
I am not talking about the material items. I am talking about the newly
forged relationship that would continue to evolve. As a result of that relationship,
I have been given more encouragement to go further than my
previous comfort level ever allowed.

 

I had already been planting the seeds of a book over the past couple
of years with many of my speech topics. I had also invested time in mentoring
more people and building my own library of teaching materials
designed to improve others’ communication skills, leadership skills, time
management skills, and other professional development needs. The book
became a consolidated view of all that I had been trying to share with
others. I went for a routine run one day, and simply ran through the door
to the computer and put together my outline. The outline turned into a
vision and mission, and turned into all the lessons I have learned in my
career. Let’s revisit both and see where we land.

 

My vision for writing this book is to provide a simple-to-follow, written
guide for professionals hoping to develop their skills in a multitude
of areas including communication, leadership, organization, and networking.
The lessons are based on my own professional experiences over
more than twenty years in a corporate environment. I want to utilize my
experiences gained from work, my membership in Toastmasters International
(a group of 270,000 world-wide members looking to improve
their communication and leadership skills) and the National Speakers
Association, and from the epiphanies I have experienced by teaching a
professional development series. In addition to my normal job responsibilities,
I started investing time with emerging leaders and experienced
managers a couple years ago in an attempt to teach my lessons to others.
I want to spread those teachings to a broader audience.

 

My mission is to create an easy-to-read guide that will motivate and
inspire you to take the steps to transform yourself. I want you to improve
your professional experiences and increase the positive impacts you have
on the people around you. Whether you are working in a small business
or a large corporation, you will be able to apply these examples and
teachings to your situation. Whether you are a manager, an entry-level
employee just joining a company, someone struggling to get through the
daily grind, or a professional striving to reach the heights of your career,
there will be something in here for you. The book will navigate through
key teaching moments from my professional life and offer you a simple
reference guide for better organizing your professional life and effectively
maneuvering through the complexities of communication, relationship
building, and organization.

 

I set out to teach you the wisdom left on my doorstep either through
self-awareness (over long periods of time in some cases) or through
shared lessons from people I now emulate. I intentionally wrote “now”
The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas What Now?
since I had thought cynically of many of them in the past or did not
respect them as I do now. Even in situations when there was a barrier I
could not break through with someone, whether it was due to different
styles or personality clashes, I have looked back and learned something
from that situation in my professional career.

 

My cynicism held me back. The concepts in this book are so simple
in nature, yet were so complex to add to my everyday thinking and everyday
belief system. I know that I am no rocket scientist, but I am a proud
employee of twenty plus years. Hard work has not paid off as much as
smart work. I am so appreciative of the people who have touched my
professional life, including the individuals bold enough to stare me in the
face and say I needed to improve. That includes the person in the mirror
who became strong enough to say, “It’s time for a change. It’s time to
make a difference for myself and others. It’s time to transform.”
The list of my lessons is not all-inclusive because I don’t know where
it is going to end. Learning is a constant process and should never cease.

 

I was convinced I would never need to take another class after I left college.
In a conversation during one of my rotational mentor programs,
I was told that my thirst for knowledge could take me to my MBA and
beyond. I was being pushed to take the next step in my education. I spent
several days thinking about my response to him. I came back and said,
“Thanks, but no thanks.” My response was not because I wouldn’t gain
from additional scholastics, but I felt I would sacrifice putting my heart
and soul into learning as much as possible of the business I had sitting in
front of me. I had an entire ocean of learning and I was only at the shore
about to dive in. The concept of transforming me further was starting to
gain momentum at this time, and I still feel I made the right decision, for
now. I am not done because I am far from perfect, but I am excited for
the road ahead. I have grown from a cynic to someone thirsty for what
comes next.

 

I have found a long career with the majority of it with same company
to be a great reward. Whether you have had the same job, worked with
the same company, or moved around regularly, you are doing it to find
the right moves for you. Even if a decision was made for you, I am a firm
believer that things happen for a reason. The reason is usually dictated by
the fact that you have done the right things leading up to it, whether it is
through your own preparation or meeting the right people.

 

I had an uncle who worked for a company in system technology for
many years. Besides being an extremely loyal person, he was a nice guy.
The economy caused his job to be eliminated. He graciously went out
without stepping on any toes, and actually took calls from his previous
colleagues on “how to do more with less” for jobs in which his old peers
had no expertise. He had lain the groundwork years before with his leadership
and job knowledge. He knew patience and timing would eventually
pay off. They did. He was offered his old job back because they
couldn’t do it without him. However, the nice guy took some cues from
the “you not only want me” mentality; he went down the “you really need
me” path and asked for more than he originally had. It was a fair assessment
and he knew he did not need to roll over. He learned a little about
himself and the corporate world during his time off and deserved everything
on top of what he’d had when he left.

 

I also had a friend who was caught up in job cuts. He was told he
needed to either find a position he was qualified for in a department
where there were openings within the company, or he would lose his
existing job within forty-five days. He had the support of friends and
colleagues convinced he was good for the company. Together, the whole
network was on the move to ultimately find him something that ended
up being a position where he had greater responsibility. It is funny how
things work out with a little effort and a great support system. Although
we all have 20/20 hindsight about mistakes made in the past, we still have
luxury of looking forward to the next challenge of the unknown that may
have previously caused fear.

 

Personality, emotion, politics, and corporate culture may get in the
way of our transformation, but we can eventually get there. Regardless of
your generation, experience, or current position, you are in a position to
become better and stronger. The vision and mission were to provide you
with some tangible examples and lessons to strengthen yourself in a way
that was easy to grasp. I have had my vision clouded in the past, but feel
the importance of this mission to move it forward. When I ask, “What
now?” I am asking myself and you. I’m sure I have plenty of new lessons
I could toss into a new book, but the path has yet to be shown. I will continue
to teach, and more importantly, learn.

 

I will be impatiently patient in driving my performance, my growth,
and my lessons learned. I even have to ensure I take my own advice. In
2010, I was tapped on the shoulder as a potential candidate in a business
that I had never been in before. I was excited to learn a new business. I
was pulled in two directions, since I had been in my current role for less
than nine months. I loved what I was doing. I loved my boss, and I found
myself fascinated by the dynamic nature of the current business.
I went through the interviews quickly because there seemed to be
an urgency placed on the requests. Yet, after those interviews, which I
personally thought had gone well, the communications went silent. It
did not make sense. Although putting my name in the ring was a well thought-
out decision that included discussions with my family about the
potential impact to my hours (most likely having to work West Coast
hours while on the East Coast), there was still some excitement attached
to the potential of fulfilling a goal when it came to the level of responsibilities
I would have taken on.

The extra time allowed me to rethink my decision. I had to repeat
to myself: I loved what I was doing. I loved my boss, and I found myself
fascinated by the dynamic nature of the current business. I had just
answered my own question. Although I felt surrounded by great people
in the current role, they had made it clear that they would never hold me
back from growing. This felt good to hear. They had my back and had
even offered to make calls on my behalf to get me the new position. I
felt that I would be cutting my learning curve short if I left at that point.
I decided to stay for selfish reasons, because I was surrounded with a
cast of people dedicated to becoming leaders in the industry, all of whom
were seeing the bigger picture. I wanted to be a part of that vision. I was
willing to take my chances to grow and be a little more patient. This one
was a clear decision in staying to do what I love while allowing myself
to continue to be challenged. Ironically, in a “Wait three month” sort of
way, I was offered an expanded role that I couldn’t refuse shortly after
that decision. It was in a field in which I was an expert, it was a start-up
operation, and I could build my own organization. I left my old team
behind with a sense of loyalty and pride, knowing that they were there for
me, and I approached the new job with fervor for making a difference in
the overall organization. I saw a bright future in my new role, in which I
could use my strengths and play off my past lessons.

 

I now have an inside-out view of my future. I have spent too much
time in my past pushing people away and blaming the powers that be for
my failures. The internalization of assessing my own failures is enlightening.
I have become addicted to making myself better, and have taken
to asking advice of anyone willing to hear the question, “What can I do
to make myself better?” I am dependent on co-workers, family, friends,
mentors, Toastmasters, strangers (rotational mentors), and people who
work for and with me to provide critical feedback that I am responsible
for integrating into my growth. I am the proud owner of feedback and
carefully have to take the actions necessary to truly benefit from it.

 

You have just taken part in the journey of who I am professionally. I
get the luxury of the therapy attached to draining all of my thoughts, opinions,
stories, and lessons learned onto the blank page. Many of my frustrations
bubbled up after years of repressed memories, while others flooded
out way too quickly. I hope the common sense aspect hits home—though
I know that “Hope won’t win the game without a game plan. Take action.”
My action plan is the book. It is my guide to reinforcing what I need to
practice each day. I am not a shoot-to-the-top employee. I am a loyal, dedicated
senior leader of a company, who is confident enough to say I have
earned everything I have gotten, and earned everything I didn’t get.

 

The experience in organizing the many random thoughts that have
filled my mind for years was a lesson itself in ensuring I believed what
I was saying. The experience will have a lasting impact in understanding
whether I can effectively influence and persuade just one person to
take action. I already have, because I am moving forward more effectively
than before. I am appreciative of everyone who helped me through my
personal and professional life to realize I have not peaked yet and my
potential is still waiting to be fulfilled.

 

Cynicism is contagious, if you allow it. So is inspiration and motivation.
I had two roads to look down, and I chose the path of transformation.
I am not a life coach, nor do I want to pretend to be one. I am
someone who has passion burning in me that needed to be released in a
targeted fashion that would do well for my own self-motivated reasons,
while at the same time being good for any business and people within
an organization. I am the former, or recovering, “Doubting Thomas”
who now believes in the ability of people to transform their negativity to
something positive. I am humbled to admit my mistakes and willing to
shout what I have learned from the rooftops. I still haven’t answered the
question, “What now?” What I want to do now is be better today than I
was yesterday, and continue to make the transformation toward someone
I want to be. When I am done, I’m going to do it all over again.

 

 

 

 

Thomas B. Dowd III’s books Displacement Day:  When My Job was Looking for a Job (Honorable Mention at the 2014 Paris and New York Book Festivals), The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas: Growing from a Cynic to a Professional in the Corporate World (Honorable Mention at the 2012 New England Book Festival),  From Fear to Success: A Practical Public-speaking Guide (2013 Axiom Business Book Awards Gold Medal Winner and 2013 Paris Book Festival Honorable Mention).  Audiobook version of “From Fear to Success” is also available! See “Products” for details on www.transformationtom.com.  Book and eBook purchase options are also available on Amazon- Please click the link to be re-directed: Amazon.com

Do you know what Avanoo is?  Two-to-three minute eLearning programs that can change your life.  Here are my latest projects:

When Your Job is to Find a Job—and Yourself

Manage Your Time–Don’t Let It Manage You

MP3 Downloads of “From Fear to Success:  A Practical Public-speaking Guide” are available at Apple iTunes, Amazon, Rhapsody, Emusic, Nokia, Xbox Music, Spotify, Omnifone, Google Music Store, Rdio, Muve Music, Bloom.fm, Slacker Radio, MediaNet, 7digital, 24-7, Rumblefish, and Shazam “From Fear to Success” MP3 on CD Baby

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Post from Transformation Tom- Remember Audio-Visual Equipment Needs—Chapter “From Fear to Success: A Practical Public-speaking Guide”

July 10, 2014 / tomdowd / News
0

 

audiovisual

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[audio:https://www.transformationtom.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Chapter-66-2.mp3]

“From Fear to Success” Audiobook= Remember Audio-Visual Equipment Needs

 

 

Preparation is critical to avoid any mishaps with AV equipment. Do
you have an extra light bulb for your projector? Let’s even take a step
back and ask if you have your own projector. Will you need to bring
one? What about extension cords and screens? You can’t leave anything
to chance, you can’t assume when it comes to delivering the best presentation.
Have you physically been to the room where you are going
to present ahead of time? The preparation is not just walking in a few
minutes before the event. It is crucial that you talk with the meeting
organizer ahead of time and walk the stage well in advance. I recommend
when practicing on the actual stage that you give a large portion
of the speech, if not all, ahead of time using the live AV equipment.
Saying, “Test 1, 2, 3” into a microphone does not count as preparation.

Have you walked around the entire stage to ensure there are no
extra-sensitive feedback spots for the microphones? Your audience
will appreciate not hearing any high-pitched squeaks. I have a loud
voice naturally, so I also invest a lot of time testing the volume of the
microphones. You should also work with the organizers ahead of time
on microphone options. I personally prefer lapel or the ones connected
to the ear with the speaker near the mouth because I like to use
my hands, and for me it is worth asking ahead of time for one of these.
Have you emailed your material to the organizer? Are paper copies
ready and waiting in case of an AV failure, or can the material be
projected in another way? Do you have a thumb drive, just in case
something goes wrong with the organizer’s version? I know I am at
my best when I have tested and prepared for everything I can control;
therefore, my audience’s ability to receive my message should go up.
Finally, expect the unexpected. It is not a matter of “if” something will
go wrong, it is “when” it will go wrong. Part of your preparation should
revolve around how flexible your presentation is without the audiovisual
equipment in case it doesn’t work.

 

 

 

Thomas B. Dowd III’s books Displacement Day:  When My Job was Looking for a Job (Honorable Mention at the 2014 Paris and New York Book Festivals), The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas: Growing from a Cynic to a Professional in the Corporate World (Honorable Mention at the 2012 New England Book Festival),  From Fear to Success: A Practical Public-speaking Guide (2013 Axiom Business Book Awards Gold Medal Winner and 2013 Paris Book Festival Honorable Mention).  Audiobook version of “From Fear to Success” is also available! See “Products” for details on www.transformationtom.com.  Book and eBook purchase options are also available on Amazon- Please click the link to be re-directed: Amazon.com

MP3 Downloads of “From Fear to Success:  A Practical Public-speaking Guide” are available at Apple iTunes, Amazon, Rhapsody, Emusic, Nokia, Xbox Music, Spotify, Omnifone, Google Music Store, Rdio, Muve Music, Bloom.fm, Slacker Radio, MediaNet, 7digital, 24-7, Rumblefish, and Shazam “From Fear to Success” MP3 on CD Baby

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Post from Transformation Tom- Acknowledgements: Chapter from “Displacement Day: When My Job was Looking for a Job”

March 7, 2014 / tomdowd / News
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acknowledgement

This book is a reference guide for anyone dealing with unemployment,
whether you may be out of work yourself or you know someone going
through this massive life change. One of the comments that hit home for
me was from a former colleague who said, “It’s a lot easier dispensing advice
on how to find a job when you already have one.” That may be true in many
cases, but I was writing this book as I was going through the unemployment
process. I wanted the immediate teachings to hit the paper in order
to ensure that all the mistakes I made or heard about during the process
were documented. I liked the realism of the statement above and learned
to appreciate what people sacrificed to move me ever closer to the job I
was seeking. I preferred practical advice rather than the countless times I
heard a version of, “Every time a door closes, a window opens.” I say this
not with mock contempt or a lack of appreciation for the sentiments, but
I would get an awkward feeling that people were feeling sorry for me. I
wanted movement in my pursuit of a new job—not sympathy. I wanted
and needed to take action to achieve this goal; I had no time or energy to
waste. Paradoxically, the window comments ultimately did come true. For
those who said it or thought it, thank you from the bottom of my heart for
teaching me another lesson. I wasn’t simply getting sympathy. I was getting
the support I required to move me forward on this journey.

I want to acknowledge my family, friends, and colleagues who never
lost faith or confidence; the people who believed me when I told them I
wasn’t worried. I meant that. I wasn’t worried, not even a little. As mentioned
in the introduction, it wasn’t overconfidence. It was a belief in
my ironclad network. Besides, if I couldn’t believe in myself, why should
anyone else? I want to thank Kim Mitchell, who said immediately after
I heard the news, “I’m only worried about you for the next two hours.”
Meaning, the tone and attitude for the next couple of hours would influence
decisions, next steps, and my approach for the long haul. She
was right to ensure that my head was on straight and that I was laser-focused
on my goals. I made the choice to not even leave the parking lot
before the road to my new job began. I placed a phone call to a fellow
Toastmaster member of a local club that I was coaching. I heard they
had a training manager opening. Thus, the search began. After I finished
the call in the parking lot, I moved a couple of thousand feet up the
road and walked into the office of a company managed by a former boss
where my skill set could potentially be used. As I saw it, I could wallow
in sorrow and angst, or I could make the effort to resolve this little bump
in the road.

When I got home on the evening of June 6th, I sat down with my children
and said, “My job going forward is to find a job. I promise to put as
much passion, energy, and commitment into this job as I have for the last
twenty-plus years.” I held myself accountable to make sure my kids had
as much confidence in me as I did. Thank you to my children for never
questioning those words.

I want to thank everyone who responded back to an email, phone call,
or conversation, even when they felt they weren’t helping. Some people
said that they had no openings and would keep my information on record—
and actually did, as I continued to get leads months after the fact.
Thank you for following through and giving me hope and opportunities.
My sincere appreciation goes out to the people who gave me valuable
advice that provided me with the confidence to go through this
potentially stressful situation, even if that advice came years before. I
will hold on to their wisdom forever. In no particular order since every
piece of it was valuable, thank you to: Steve Crawford, Jeff Schmidt,
Erin Dymowski, Steve Dymowski, Christine Duffy, Nichole Kelley-
Sirois, Greg Sirois, David O’Connell, Everett Berger, Frank McKelvey,
Sherry Reid, Neal Williamson, Dick Jacobs, Chip Rossi, Steven Cohen,
Dave Ciullo, Mary LaFontaine, John Brubaker, Wende Stambaugh, Joy
Bollinger, Leslie Johnson, Gregg Davis, Joe Claricurzio, Carmen (Felix)
Garte, Joe Grondin, Sandra Hachey, Beth Hennessy, Joni Lindstrom, Jim
Kokocki, Wendy Harding, Cynthia Martin, Wayne Mercer, Deb Nowak,
Nita Pital, Kishore Sashthiri, Augie Schau, Hilary Schau, Kristine Smith,
Cynthia Wheeler, Donna Tutty, Jo-Anne Walton, Jasen Wood, Lori
Wood, Adria Minevich, Jeanne Gallagher, Lynne Snow, Trevor Koenig,
Ted Dwyer, Tami Chester, Jeneen Marziani, Karen Salisbury, Anne Casey,
Amy Vitale, Navroze Eduljee, Julia Caslin, Alfred Manganiello, John
Echternach, Shelley Waite, Todd Beacham, Michael Quinn, Joan Pappas,
Patrick Strieck, Noreen Dow, Parker Chamberlin, Beth Chamberlin,
Amy Perkins, Michelle Chung, Brett Lerner, Robyn Reisinger, Kevin
Burns, Mike D’Andrade, Joe Hickey, Frank Cerullo, Maria Harris,
Robin Chacon, Kathy Bernath, Shane Flynn, Jim McGowan, Heather
Bentley, Jeff Nathan, Kristi Christman, Rich Wagenknecht, Don Danese,
Vin Contento, Marie Drouet, Gwen Ellis, Jim Kane, Monal Pathak,
Robert Hayes, Christine Channels, Eric Inkrott, Chrisine Comune, Karl
Andersen, Mary Jo Anderson, Lori Macchi, Katy Emmi, Scott Macchi,
Jarett (J) Isralow, Bill Bowlsbey, Chris Cusack, Mike Kinane, Tom Cyr,
Elizabeth Hamilton, David Hamilton, David Berez, Kim Devlin, Blanca
De La Rosa, Jeff Dobbs, Mark Pearce, Luke Donaldson, Dave Edelson,
Jenn Ehresman, Danny Bader, Chris Hogan, Nadine Stillmunks, Mike
Battagliese, Krista Wrona, John Caruccio, Jamie Danner, Jim Biniasz,
Ed Hawthorne, Dina Kanabar, Marshall Bonaquisti, Devin Farmer,
Jill Engel, Ryan Conner, Michael Curtis, Branan Cooper, Christine
Costagliola, Steve Stark, Mignona Cote, Shawn Harris, Scott Bailer, Mark
O’Donal, Karma O’Donal, Doug DeSimone, Ryan Cobb, Shawn Leger,
Kelly Cahill, Terrence Cahill, Steve Ryder, Kris Rosado, Steve Bescript,
Paul Mosley, Barry Baird, Bob Shiflet, Jessica Andrews, Bob Lamantia, Josh
Reitzes, Patrick Rockenbach, Michelle Zander-Brown, Darryl Fincher, Rob
Cochran, Brad Dunckel, Rich Coombs, Warren Butler, Tim Gayhardt,
Brian Burbage, Tewksbury Library, Lewiston (Maine) Career Center, J.V.
Fletcher Library, and to the countless others I may have inadvertently left
out.

To the people who provided recommendations when they were needed
and even when they weren’t, your words meant a lot. I am humbled
by the praise and appreciate the time and effort it took. Special thanks
to Christian Pieri, Tammy Wagenknecht, Greg Purinton-Brown, Louise
Nail, Pam Moyer, Bob Ferland, Joyce McPhetres, Dax Cummings, Jeff
Sargent, Heather Perkins, Carl Duivenvoorden, Elizabeth Cagnon, Wes
Strader, Tim Wescott, Corey Fogarty, Mark Foster, John Reddy, and
Sandy Cox.

From the very first “official” networking session with Ben Ryan, to
Ron Becker, Dan Chappell, Todd Cunningham, Ingrid Petrus, Ana Ness,
Janice McCreary, Annie Witthoefft, Pam Marsh, Jack Mahoney, John
DeSantis, Brian Gray, Sandy Wood, Russ Zusi, Mary Lynn MacKenzie,
Angel Birch, Karen Humphries, Ellen Schwartz, and many others, I am
appreciative of the invested time.

I want to send my thanks to my first set of eyes on the first version of
Displacement Day—Polly Hall, Hannah Tays, and Kathleen FitzGerald—
who turned the very rough first draft into a presentable manuscript. To
my editor Jen Blood, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Thanks for
bringing my words to life.

I’m indebted to social media such as Facebook and LinkedIn for making
the job search so much more bearable. I’m not sure how this process
was before these tools came along, but I’m thankful that I don’t have to
find out. I want to thank my old Toastmasters club in Belfast, Maine—
Dirigo—for their continuing support when I was no longer with the company,
and for my new Maine clubs in Bangor—Bangor Toastmasters—
and in Waterville and Augusta—Kennebec Valley Toastmasters—for being
so welcoming.

Finally, I want to thank the clients of Thomas Dowd Professional
Development & Coaching, LLC who could have easily questioned how
someone can teach people job-search techniques such as interviewing,
résumé writing, networking, and professional growth when he didn’t have
a job himself. You didn’t run away. Instead, you ran to me because you
knew I could empathize, and you gave me the credibility I was hoping for.
Thanks for recognizing the win-win situation.

 

 

 

Thomas B. Dowd III’s books Displacement Day:  When My Job was Looking for a Job, The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas: Growing from a Cynic to a Professional in the Corporate World (Honorable Mention at the 2012 New England Book Festival),  From Fear to Success: A Practical Public-speaking Guide (2013 Axiom Business Book Awards Gold Medal Winner and 2013 Paris Book Festival Honorable Mention).  Audiobook version of “From Fear to Success” is also available! See “Products” for details on www.transformationtom.com.  Book and eBook purchase options are also available on Amazon- Please click the link to be re-directed: Amazon.com

MP3 Downloads of “From Fear to Success:  A Practical Public-speaking Guide” are available at Apple iTunes, Amazon, Rhapsody, Emusic, Nokia, Xbox Music, Spotify, Omnifone, Google Music Store, Rdio, Muve Music, Bloom.fm, Slacker Radio, MediaNet, 7digital, 24-7, Rumblefish, and Shazam “From Fear to Success” MP3 on CD Baby

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Confessions of a Loser

July 26, 2013 / tomdowd / News
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In 2009, I wrote a speech for Project Six in the Toastmasters’ Competent Communicator manual.  I was more than halfway to my competent communicator goal of ten speeches and was very proud of my progress.  A fellow club member said that I should enter the upcoming international speech competition.  My response was, “What competition?”  I had no idea there were speech contests.   I am a competitive person by nature, so I entered.  Being introverted like so many people within the Toastmasters organization, I could see the value of being thrust in front of a bunch of people I didn’t know to share a story that I had only shared in front of my club—I think.  Being a consummate learner, I knew my learning curve would grow exponentially with the added pressure.

I need to set the tone that I had just learned to let go of the lectern with clenched fingers and was only starting to understand that I didn’t have to stand behind it.  I was also still weaning off my addiction of looking at notes.  The contest day came quickly.  I stood in the middle of the floor at my very first contest.  I looked good—for a stiff, upright, tensed shoulders-looking speaker afraid of moving from one spot.  Apparently, I owned that space on the floor and feared someone would steal it if I moved—so there I remained for my six and a half minutes.  The verdict was announced.  I didn’t win.  However, I finished second in our club and would move on to the next level—the area contest.

I was given feedback going into the area-level contest that I could actually move—if I wanted.  Being a literal guy, I let it all loose at the area contest.  I think I scared the audience, or at least distracted them a little, as I quickly scurried back and forth across the stage with no thought of anchoring my story, let alone stopping long enough to have the audience absorb the poignant points that must have sounded like a training whistle speeding by.  I didn’t win.  Yet, my content must have been strong enough to get some of the judges’ attention since I received the second place nod to move on to the division level.  I had yet to win a contest, but was finding some success, was having fun, and was gaining confidence.  At the divisional level, I was blown away by the other competitors’ speeches.  I didn’t even close to placing.  To make excuses, I didn’t write my speech as an “international” contest speech entry since I didn’t even know what one was. I did learn more about how contests work and found out that I had grown.  Additionally, I learned a valuable lesson of looking at the speech ballot so I would know how I was being judged going forward.

I was feeling good enough to try the next humorous speech contest.  I was fortunate enough to move on to the division finals—again, I finished in second place.  I still had yet to win a contest, but second place continued to be good enough to advance.  As I stood in front of about fifty people, the first line became locked in my head and I didn’t have the key.  My brain refused to release my thoughts to my mouth while the second line was bursting to come out.  There I stood in silence wondering what to do next.  After what seemed like an hour, I chose to skip the first line and just started on the second.  I finished in third place.  I had learned another lesson.  I realized my preparation technique of standing in front of a mirror or talking to my steering wheel in my car while I drove wouldn’t cut it if I wanted to succeed in speech competitions. I significantly revamped my preparation by finding live practice audiences beyond waiting for Toastmaster meetings.

The following year, I made it to the District 45 finals of the international speech contest.  One of the competitors jokingly told me before the contest, “I hope I win the world championship so I can quit my day job.”  I said, “What’s the world championship?”  I had no idea the winner would advance to the world semi-finals.  My confidence took a little hit when I found that a few competitors were professional speakers.  Additionally, during lunch one of the organizers announced that two-thirds of the conference attendees were from Canada.  As a U.S. member who had written a speech with U.S. statistics, I panicked and modified my speech two hours before the competition.  I stumbled on a line mid-way through my presentation later that night.  I didn’t place in the top three.  I learned another lesson.  Know your audience better.  More importantly, I learned the value of having mentors.  The contest winner provided me support, encouragement, and feedback after the contest.  He became a mentor and a long-time friend.

Fall rolled around again and it was time for a new humorous speech. In the middle of my contest speech at the division level, a jackhammer was hard at work in the background.  I was so distracted that I lost my place.  Although I had made some changes to my practice preparation, I would typically search for complete silence so I wouldn’t be distracted.  Yes, I lost again—I didn’t even place in the top three.  Lesson learned! I started searching for distractions, whether it was my daughter playing the piano or turning on the television or radio.

The competitions continued.  During the international speech competition at the district level again, I had a picture of the main subject that I flipped around for the audience to see in the middle of my speech.  After losing again, I was given feedback that the props weren’t needed for this speech since I had already painted the picture for the audience with the descriptive words I was using.  The blank sign was also seen as creating too many questions in the mind of the audience until it was shown while making my stage movement predictable.  I was learning lessons about the appropriate use of props.

I am a loser—and I wouldn’t want it any other way.  There can be only one winner who gets a trophy, but I can’t count the number of wins I’ve had while competing without receiving the hardware.   These losses led me down the path of in-depth concentration on understanding audiences, learning to play to my strengths, and setting my goals higher.  More importantly, I realized who I am and who I want to be as a speaker. During this time, I’ve continued to participate in contests, including having the fortune to win the District 45 Table Topics Championship in both 2012 and 2013.  The desire to better myself led me to write two books on personal growth which include many of these same lessons.  I’ve also started my own business.  I blame Toastmasters for much of this.  I tell you this not to be boastful, but because I am a loser.  I am better because I joined Toastmasters.  The Toastmasters program has given me confidence to try things I never thought I would while showing me the importance of the journey, not the end result.  I am better today than yesterday, but not yet as good as tomorrow—and that’s okay.  Every loss turned into a win when I found nuggets of information that could make me a better speaker—and person.  The contests are just a microcosmic look at what has driven me to become who I wanted to be.  The contests, for me, became a spring board to look at my life as a whole and became a driving factor to make many other decisions to personally and professionally transform me.  Each loss catapulted me toward another challenge and more success.  Have you lost, yet really won lately?  You too can become a loser!

Thomas B. Dowd III’s books The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas: Growing from a Cynic to a Professional in the Corporate World (Honorable Mention at the 2012 New England Book Festival) and From Fear to Success: A Practical Public-speaking Guide (2013 Axiom Business Book Awards Gold Medal Winner and 2013 Paris Book Festival Honorable Mention) are available under “Products” on www.transformationtom.com. Book and eBook purchase options are also available on Amazon- Please click the link to be re-directed: Amazon.com

Dowd, leadership, learning, lose, loser, losers, speaking, speech competitions, Thomas Dowd, toastmaster, Toastmasters, Tom Dowd, transformation, transformation tom, win, winning

Post from Transformation Tom- Manage Your Time, Don’t Let it Manage You—Part I: Chapter from “The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas”

January 4, 2013 / tomdowd / News
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Manage Your Time, Don’t Let it Manage You—Part I

I have found in my over twenty years of professional experience that poor time management skills are one of the biggest pitfalls for leaders. I am going to intentionally repeat myself: poor time management skills are one of the biggest pitfalls for leaders. I took organization training over eighteen years ago, and I understood at that time the power of managing my day and beyond. More importantly, I realized I couldn’t survive in the business world until I could manage the swirling days, weeks, and months around me. By actively staying organized, I found I could dedicate the appropriate time to urgent and important items, spend more time developing people, and yes, put out those dreadful fires that often come our way.

When you are running at capacity, the fire drill exercise will sacrifice something else that may need to be dropped. However, if you have full control and knowledge of your own capacity, you can not only do it right, but you have a chance to do it all, and more. Included in this section are highlights from an evolving organization course I have taught over the years for new and experienced managers. I have a positive reputation for being highly organized at work. Some call it being anal retentive or compulsive. However, very few people can remember me ever missing a key deadline.

First and foremost, people are the highest priority. Regardless of your job responsibilities or what is on your calendar for the day, people who work for you take the top billing. As a manager, how do you get all of the administrative work done if you are constantly bombarded with questions from your direct reports? Good managers can anticipate questions and concerns through staff meetings and team meetings. It is extremely important to lay out clear expectations and preparations, including what might be the best time to connect with you, what is on your plate for the day, and who to contact if you are not available. Being ahead of the game is also important. You can do this by anticipating common questions and put answers in your reports’ hands before the questions are even asked. Everyone wins.

Managers should also understand the most effective ways to present information to a particular audience. Knowing who you are presenting to and how well they will absorb the information is critical. How does your group like to be taught? For example, a manager might find success in asking open-ended questions to ensure clarity. Tossing facts and figures at a group of people and expecting them to remember can be difficult. There should be interaction and engagement from everyone. The group of people learning should feel comfortable, and the leader should invest the appropriate amount of time when it is all over. Sometimes in the past, I rushed information to people by talking at them, and was always surprised when I got a question later about the same subject. I have found it extremely helpful for time-management purposes to invest the time up front so that everyone learns and digests the information from the start. Group settings are extremely helpful in avoiding duplicate messages. If you are not a leader, you should ensure that this gets practiced by discussing this with your manager.

Leaders need to build time into their calendars for the unexpected. How can you do this if you don’t know what’s coming relating to those “I need it now” requests? If you are scheduled for an eight hour day, and your calendar is booked for that entire eight hours, it is guaranteed that you will not get everything done. The unexpected will happen during that time—I promise. I like to block off time in my day with follow-up items that occupy space on my calendar to cover loose ends. The blocks of time also allow flexibility if meetings go over or someone needs me for something important. These blocks of time are great for reflecting on past meetings, preparing for upcoming meetings, or conducting in-depth work.

You should also schedule time to get away from your desk. This builds in another block of time for the unexpected, and allows extra time for the flexibility to take a break and stay fresh. Below are some additional tips for the unexpected:

  • Schedule time for emails, return messages, etc. This minimizes your need to multitask and builds more open time. If you build an hour a day for this and it only takes thirty minutes, take advantage of the bonus time for other tasks.
  • Build in time for daily operations and be sensitive to potential impacts within your business. For example, in a call center, Mondays are often high call volume days. Managers are needed on the floor. Build that time on the floor into your calendar for non-meeting activities. Do not schedule your staff meetings during peak times, since the chances for interruption are high and a less productive meeting will occur.
  • Use miscellaneous blocks of time on your calendar for routine events that may not require a specific time. For example, you know you need two hours tomorrow to provide feedback to people on your team, or do a daily task like quality monitoring. You may schedule it for 10:00 A.M.-12:00 noon. The actual time is not as important as reserving the block of time of two hours. You can build in the flexibility to move this block of time through the same day as you need to as long as you remain committed to making it happen. Be careful of pushing it too late into the day, when you risk not completing it and are required to move it to another day. When you start carrying appointments over to other days, you run the risk of creating a bottleneck situation. For example, pushing the two hours to another day  puts you four hours in the hole the following day.
  • Use      recurring meetings to hold future times and dates. This habit gives people a heads up to reserve times and dates and should increase attendance to key meetings. It is respectful of other people’s calendars, since it will give everyone ample time to know what is ahead for them, and they can look forward to the same time and date each week or month.

One of the greatest things I did for my own sanity was to keep a pad of paper near my nightstand at home. How does this relate to time management? When random thoughts pop into my head at night, I write them down immediately. The benefits are as follows: 1) I don’t forget, thus I don’t waste time trying to remember, 2) I sleep better knowing I have immediately addressed my thoughts, 3) I have stronger ideas since I have reached the inner non-stressed part of my brain and can formulate a plan of action. All of this allows me to enter into my day knowing where and when things are happening, with a clear plan of attack to get it done.

Don’t be a slave to your calendar, but be committed to it and avoid constant appointment pushing. Consistent appointment pushing to another day is a red flag that you need to change the calendar process—it is either too full or you need to be more committed to it.

You should invest ample time in understanding your future calendar appointments. Organize tomorrow before leaving today. You should invest five minutes before leaving for the day. I make very few promises, but I will make an exception. I promise you will sleep better knowing exactly what’s on your plate tomorrow. You should actually schedule this five minute event for the end of day as a calendar appointment. Five invested minutes will save you hours later. Additionally, organize the next week every Friday. Look out a week at a time. Again, schedule this Friday event on your calendar. Finally, organize each month with a few days before the current month ends. Look out a month at a time. Once again, schedule this event on your calendar. This shouldn’t be done on the thirtieth of the month—it should be done around the twenty-sixth to avoid surprises in the first week of the following month. The outlook a month ahead of time allows you to determine what normal routines you need to conduct each month and how to spread them accordingly. When we have certain obligations that are required on a monthly basis, I find as high as ninety-five percent of the people on any given month, if given the choice, will do the task at the end of the month. Be in the minority and get things done before they are scheduled and due.

We are in a culture of procrastinators. I am on the opposite end of the spectrum, almost to the extreme, viewing it as the antithesis of procrastination. I want tasks out of the way as quickly as possible so that I can concentrate on other things. I front load certain events in the first or second week of each month to get them out of the way, and allow flexibility in case other events come up that need to be accomplished prior to the month ending. There have been many times when something did come up at the end of the month, and a number of leaders did not meet their requirements as a result. Keeping ahead of your schedule allows for the unexpected. As I was going through my career growing pains, it was effective time management that often kept me afloat.

 

Additional reading specific to time management: The Productivity Pro- Laura Stark  https://www.theproductivitypro.com/blog/2013/01/how-your-standards-can-slow-you-down/#respond

 

Thomas B. Dowd III’s books The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas: Growing from a Cynic to a Professional in the Corporate World (Honorable Mention at the 2012 New England Book Festival) and From Fear to Success: A Practical Public-speaking Guide (2013 Axiom Business Book Awards Gold Medal Winner and 2013 Paris Book Festival Honorable Mention) are available under “Products” on www.transformationtom.com. Book and eBook purchase options are also available on Amazon- Please click the link to be re-directed: Amazon.com

eBook purchase options include the following- Click link to be re-directed:

Amazon.com

Barnes & Noble (Nook)

Smashwords

Kobo

Sony eBooks

Apple Store (iTunes)

 

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Post from Transformation Tom- This I Believe

October 13, 2012 / tomdowd / News
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This I Believe… by Thomas B. Dowd Sr. (my grandfather)

The following was aired in the 1950’s by my grandfather (my namesake) on the Edward R. Murrow’s radio show, “This I Believe.”

The basis of my belief is shaped by a most unforgettable character, a woman. The story begins with a little girl, 2 years of age, as she stood in a country cemetery on a raw December day holding her 4-year-old brother’s hand and listening to a kind priest as he prayed over the grave of her mother. It is quite possible that she didn’t understand this experience until later, but there is no doubt that she felt it with the instinctive wisdom of a child. When the prayers at the grave were completed, this little girl was separated from her brother and taken to an orphanage where, for seven years—long as they must have been to her—she, with other orphans, was shepherded up and down church aisles in the hope that somebody would be attracted to her and single her out for adoption. One Sunday, shortly after her 9th birthday, the girl was taken into the hearts of a couple who had little to offer of material things, but a world of love to give. Her philosophy of life, because of the kindness of these two, was predicated on a philosophy of thankfulness, and she dedicated her life to doing for these two people each thing done, bringing to her happiness and joy, and to them material comfort. This little girl grew with dignity to the state of womanhood and married. She found a new and lasting kind of love with her fine husband. And although the first years of this union were filled and strained with worries, they carried on, doing things as one. Their oldest child died at the age of 12; there were business difficulties; there was a continuous struggle to get on the road of stability and success. The sky never seemed to be completely cleared of its clouds of illness and worry. All this necessitated tremendous personal sacrifices, which were so readily made, so that their children might not be only clothed and fed, but also would be educated. Her dominant philosophy, so developed in these trying years, was an understanding of God’s ways. She was a happy mother, tender and considerate of her husband and children, unselfish in everything she did. Her spirit of optimism and the joy and pleasure she derived from the littlest of things made her stand apart from all others that I have known. She had a trust in God and man—one as the giver of all things, and the other as a provider of material and earthly things. This trust was a beacon to all who knew her. In all things she did, she looked for no personal reward, but, as in the case of such a living philosopher, she received a reward that was above all expectations. Her belief in God as the giver of all things was exceeded only by her realization that the time would come when she would be turning to Him for eternity. With her family gathered about her deathbed, she listened to their prayers and those of her oldest son, a priest, as he asked God to accept her spirit. And just as he pleaded “Dear God, into thy hands I commit the soul of my mother,” she passed on to eternity. If one were not impressed with this person who embodied the humanitarianism of the Good Samaritan, he could find, in my opinion, no place in the world of good thinking people. That I was impressed, and that I have attempted in some way in my personal life to follow the concept of the goodness that was hers, shouldn’t be too hard a task, since this unforgettable woman was my mother.

 

Original Radio Broadcast: https://thisibelieve.org/essay/16508/

 

Thomas B. Dowd III books The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas: Growing from a Cynic to a Professional in the Corporate World and From Fear to Success: A Practical Public-speaking Guide are available under “Products” on www.transformationtom.com.  Book and eBook purchase options are also available on Amazon- Please click the links to be re-directed:  Amazon.com

 

 

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Post from Transformation Tom- Rising Above Perceptions by Bob Ferland

September 28, 2012 / tomdowd / News
2

The following is an inspirational Toastmasters speech written by Bob Ferland, who has learned to rise above any challange thrown his way….

Rising Above Perceptions

How do we define ourselves and others? How do we rationalize what is truly important?

Do we define ourselves by our appearance or looks?

How about physical strength, abilities, intelligence, or intellect?

What about material wealth?

All of the following factors play some role in who we are individually; as well as how we view others.  It is up to us to personally prioritize what is truly important.

Let us begin by looking at first impressions.  Based on how we feel when we first see somebody, we may unintentionally evaluate by appearance, or even by socioeconomic status, considering how neat or clean a person appears, as well as the condition or style of attire they are wearing.  Whether we like to admit it or not, we are all prone to treating somebody who appears to be better off with a higher level of respect compared to somebody who does not appear to be as well off.

How about other factors, such as physical strength and abilities? How often do we inadvertently treat somebody better who is in shape, compared to somebody else who does not appear to be as physically fit.

We are all guilty of having preconceived ideas about people within certain areas, based on our own perception of normality.

What do you think about when you think about me?

Growing up with a disability, I’ve dealt with a number of perceptions.  Let me help you rise above your perceptions.

No matter how hard I tried to walk normally, or play along as a youth with others, I had the perpetual feeling that no matter how hard I tried, I would never be able to participate or even compete at the same level as others without adversity.  Negative thoughts that others potentially had about me was also a concern.

It is challenging to deal with things beyond your control.

However; allowing personal trials to govern your life, inhibiting you from reaching your full potential is NOT an option!

Since the age of five, I had a physical therapist who pushed me very hard.  I learned how to set goals at a tender, young age.  Each session consisted of muscle stretching and strengthening, as major leg muscles were spastic or perpetually tight.

Following the stretching, we would work on functional exercises; which would be little to no effort for a normal person, but was consistently an intense workout for me.  These exercises involved standing out of a chair or attempting to walk within a straight line.

What made each of these exercises exceptionally challenging, was the fact that after my spastic muscles were stretched, I no longer had the strength, previously depended upon.  I needed to supplement with my opposing non-spastic muscles, which are very weak, seeing the non-spastic muscles do not have an opportunity to work, consistently being overpowered by my spastic muscles.

From late grammar school through high school, my physical therapist had me work on running laps within the gymnasium.  This was challenging enough with a balance problem.  After each therapy session, having my leg muscles aggressively stretched, no longer able to utilize spasticity, I had no choice but to supplement with my weaker non-spastic muscles.

Each therapy session happened on a weekly basis.  I would also train in the gym, nearly every day, prior to school, pushing myself to go further and further.

Initially when I first started, I was barely able to successfully complete half a lap around the gym, prior to feeling completely winded and no longer able to continue.

By the end of the school year, I was able to accomplish 10 laps around the entire gymnasium, even after feeling the effects of a cumulative therapy session.

Growing up and even now, I work so much harder than just about anybody else to simply get around.

In addition to physical therapy for my legs, I spent time in high school, college, and even today working out at various gyms on my upper and lower body.

Considering my past, I thrive on aggressive personal goals.  My workouts begin with strength training, where I need to achieve 12 repetitions, twice in order to achieve goal at moderate weights.

The end of each workout is dedicated to cardio, spending “quality time” on the Elliptical.  This simulates a natural running pattern that I am unable to acquire on my own.  When I first started on the Elliptical, I used a consistently low ramp level with no resistance.  My standard cardio goal was a full mile within 20 minutes.  As time progressed, I steadily increased the ramp level and now run on Interval, where the ramp level and resistance changes every two minutes from ramp level four with no resistance to ramp level 10 with resistance level 8.  Yes, I am tired after each workout! 

No matter how challenging life becomes, I have learned to rise above, remaining focused on maintaining a positive attitude, even within challenging circumstances.

 Life gives us two options.

 One option is to accept defeat by quitting early.

 The second option is to persevere and push through, no matter how challenging the situation appears.

 The only limits that truly exist are the limits we establish for ourselves.

 To summarize this speech, we all perceive things differently upon looking at ourselves and others.  We may even think we are better off than somebody else, based on our own abilities or qualities we possess.  I simply ask that we all look beyond what is seen on the outside and attempt to look at the heart of each person on the inside, determining what truly drives and motivates each of us to accomplish our daily and lifelong goals.

Thank you!

– Bob Ferland

 

Thomas B. Dowd III books The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas: Growing from a Cynic to a Professional in the Corporate World and From Fear to Success: A Practical Public-speaking Guide are available under “Products” on www.transformationtom.com.  Book and eBook purchase options are also available on Amazon- Please click the link to be re-directed:  Amazon.com

 

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Post from Transformation Tom: Call it Irony (article appeared in District 45 Toastmasters Newsletter)

September 21, 2012 / tomdowd / News
0

Call it Irony

           I was full of pride when Donna Tutty sent me a note about an opportunity to present to the Maine Waste Water Control Association (MWWCA) at Sugarloaf Resort on September 13, 2012.  The group was described as very technical and trade-oriented, and they were looking for something a little out of the ordinary.  The audience was used to job-specific presentations, and the organizers were looking to add something fresh to the curriculum when they asked District 45 to send a representative to discuss public speaking.

As Toastmasters, we have been taught to prepare our presentations so that we know the material inside and out.  In fact, part of my presentation “From Fear to Success” was geared around practice and preparation in order to reduce anxiety.  I had no idea how much the training would come in handy.

I got a good night’s sleep, went for an early run while the sun was rising, and felt great about representing our district.  I went to the event two hours early to meet the organizers and to network with the organization.  I was instantly greeted by several people who made me feel welcome.  Today was going to be a good day.

In my preparation a few weeks before the event, I had asked the organizers about microphones, but they said they weren’t needed.  I went to the room where I would be presenting to practice my speech and to get a feel of the acoustics and the stage.  Let’s start with the sound.  I instantly found some echoing in the open room chamber that also had a wide-open staircase and vendors on the floor below causing a significant amount of white noise.  I knew I had to adapt my voice since there were no doors to close.

I still had some concerns with the room set-up.  Part of my list of questions for the organizers weeks prior to the event included whether or not there was a lectern.  The organizer said there would be one in the room, yet when I showed up, it wasn’t to be found. There was no need to panic, because I still had ninety minutes before my presentation.  I found someone on the facility staff who said he would take care of me.  He found a half lectern that could go on top of a huge table that would have been right in the middle of my anticipated stage.  As an alternative, he found a shelf used for ski boot storage that he could rig up.  The set-up had the lectern at chin height. While my facility friend was being creative, I found a different set of workers and I asked if they had any other ideas.  Within minutes a lectern was rolled my way.

Unfortunately, my lectern dilemma was just the beginning of a good day that could easily slip away into panic and stress as I tried to resolve my issues.  There were to be dual presenters before me who were sitting behind laptops at a large table that needed to be moved prior to my speech.  The table was easy to move but the multiple cords and projector that sat right in the center of my supposed stage was not only tripping hazards, they were in my intended speaking path.  It didn’t help that the screen for my slides was tucked awkwardly into a corner.  When I moved the projector out of my walking path, the projected slides were keystone in shape and too small for the audience to see.  As the moderator and I attempted to resolve the slides, we found that the auto adjustments on the projector itself weren’t working properly. We attempted to resolve the problem by tucking pads of paper under one side of the projector.  We were right up against the time for the first presenters, so we needed a break for about an hour.  This left me with thirty minutes to resolve the issue prior to my presentation.  Was I nervous?  No, because I had a Plan B.

When I had the chance, I hooked up my own projector and we were back in business.  Unfortunately, the moderator’s laptop was now having problems.  Time for Plan C.  I connected my own laptop and we were once again back in business.  As for speaker introductions, many of us have learned to not only write our own, but to share it with the moderator to ensure he or she meets the presenter’s expectations.  She said she liked my introduction.  However, she planned to cut it short and adlib to allow more speaking time.  I told her how diligent Toastmasters attempt to be with timing, and that I had actually accounted for her to read to entire introduction.  She reluctantly agreed, until she went to grab her copy and couldn’t find it.  I reached into my folder and handed her the extra copy I had for “just in case” situations.  This allowed me the time to share how I preferred to have my introduction delivered.  She seemed relieved and appreciative.

The actual presentation could not have gone any better. The audience was receptive and the Toastmasters’ training proved its value easily.  I know a few years ago how panic-stricken I would have been and how the road blocks could have held me back from getting the message I wanted to the audience.  Instead, I was able to be flexible, offer solutions to the problems, and even incorporate the problems into the presentation to enhance it.  As for the moderator’s concern about going over our allotted time, for my hour-long presentation, I finished in 59 minutes and thirty seconds.  Thank you Toastmasters’ training.

A presentation about practice and preparation to reduce anxiety and lead to success was put into action before it even started—call it irony.  As a Toastmaster you have significant control over your own successes.  Be ready for the unexpected and don’t be surprised when the unexpected appears.  Be confident in everything you have learned, or will learn, from Toastmasters’ training. Your communication and leadership skills will ensure that any moment of fear can turn into success.

 

Thomas B. Dowd III books The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas: Growing from a Cynic to a Professional in the Corporate World and From Fear to Success: A Practical Public-speaking Guide are available under “Products” on www.transformationtom.com.  Book and eBook purchase options are also available on Amazon- Please click the links to be re-directed:  Amazon.com

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