Post from Transformation Tom- Acknowledgements: Chapter from “Displacement Day: When My Job was Looking for a Job”

March 7, 2014 / tomdowd / News

This book is a reference guide for anyone dealing with unemployment,
whether you may be out of work yourself or you know someone going
through this massive life change. One of the comments that hit home for
me was from a former colleague who said, “It’s a lot easier dispensing advice
on how to find a job when you already have one.” That may be true in many
cases, but I was writing this book as I was going through the unemployment
process. I wanted the immediate teachings to hit the paper in order
to ensure that all the mistakes I made or heard about during the process
were documented. I liked the realism of the statement above and learned
to appreciate what people sacrificed to move me ever closer to the job I
was seeking. I preferred practical advice rather than the countless times I
heard a version of, “Every time a door closes, a window opens.” I say this
not with mock contempt or a lack of appreciation for the sentiments, but
I would get an awkward feeling that people were feeling sorry for me. I
wanted movement in my pursuit of a new job—not sympathy. I wanted
and needed to take action to achieve this goal; I had no time or energy to
waste. Paradoxically, the window comments ultimately did come true. For
those who said it or thought it, thank you from the bottom of my heart for
teaching me another lesson. I wasn’t simply getting sympathy. I was getting
the support I required to move me forward on this journey.

I want to acknowledge my family, friends, and colleagues who never
lost faith or confidence; the people who believed me when I told them I
wasn’t worried. I meant that. I wasn’t worried, not even a little. As mentioned
in the introduction, it wasn’t overconfidence. It was a belief in
my ironclad network. Besides, if I couldn’t believe in myself, why should
anyone else? I want to thank Kim Mitchell, who said immediately after
I heard the news, “I’m only worried about you for the next two hours.”
Meaning, the tone and attitude for the next couple of hours would influence
decisions, next steps, and my approach for the long haul. She
was right to ensure that my head was on straight and that I was laser-focused
on my goals. I made the choice to not even leave the parking lot
before the road to my new job began. I placed a phone call to a fellow
Toastmaster member of a local club that I was coaching. I heard they
had a training manager opening. Thus, the search began. After I finished
the call in the parking lot, I moved a couple of thousand feet up the
road and walked into the office of a company managed by a former boss
where my skill set could potentially be used. As I saw it, I could wallow
in sorrow and angst, or I could make the effort to resolve this little bump
in the road.

When I got home on the evening of June 6th, I sat down with my children
and said, “My job going forward is to find a job. I promise to put as
much passion, energy, and commitment into this job as I have for the last
twenty-plus years.” I held myself accountable to make sure my kids had
as much confidence in me as I did. Thank you to my children for never
questioning those words.

I want to thank everyone who responded back to an email, phone call,
or conversation, even when they felt they weren’t helping. Some people
said that they had no openings and would keep my information on record—
and actually did, as I continued to get leads months after the fact.
Thank you for following through and giving me hope and opportunities.
My sincere appreciation goes out to the people who gave me valuable
advice that provided me with the confidence to go through this
potentially stressful situation, even if that advice came years before. I
will hold on to their wisdom forever. In no particular order since every
piece of it was valuable, thank you to: Steve Crawford, Jeff Schmidt,
Erin Dymowski, Steve Dymowski, Christine Duffy, Nichole Kelley-
Sirois, Greg Sirois, David O’Connell, Everett Berger, Frank McKelvey,
Sherry Reid, Neal Williamson, Dick Jacobs, Chip Rossi, Steven Cohen,
Dave Ciullo, Mary LaFontaine, John Brubaker, Wende Stambaugh, Joy
Bollinger, Leslie Johnson, Gregg Davis, Joe Claricurzio, Carmen (Felix)
Garte, Joe Grondin, Sandra Hachey, Beth Hennessy, Joni Lindstrom, Jim
Kokocki, Wendy Harding, Cynthia Martin, Wayne Mercer, Deb Nowak,
Nita Pital, Kishore Sashthiri, Augie Schau, Hilary Schau, Kristine Smith,
Cynthia Wheeler, Donna Tutty, Jo-Anne Walton, Jasen Wood, Lori
Wood, Adria Minevich, Jeanne Gallagher, Lynne Snow, Trevor Koenig,
Ted Dwyer, Tami Chester, Jeneen Marziani, Karen Salisbury, Anne Casey,
Amy Vitale, Navroze Eduljee, Julia Caslin, Alfred Manganiello, John
Echternach, Shelley Waite, Todd Beacham, Michael Quinn, Joan Pappas,
Patrick Strieck, Noreen Dow, Parker Chamberlin, Beth Chamberlin,
Amy Perkins, Michelle Chung, Brett Lerner, Robyn Reisinger, Kevin
Burns, Mike D’Andrade, Joe Hickey, Frank Cerullo, Maria Harris,
Robin Chacon, Kathy Bernath, Shane Flynn, Jim McGowan, Heather
Bentley, Jeff Nathan, Kristi Christman, Rich Wagenknecht, Don Danese,
Vin Contento, Marie Drouet, Gwen Ellis, Jim Kane, Monal Pathak,
Robert Hayes, Christine Channels, Eric Inkrott, Chrisine Comune, Karl
Andersen, Mary Jo Anderson, Lori Macchi, Katy Emmi, Scott Macchi,
Jarett (J) Isralow, Bill Bowlsbey, Chris Cusack, Mike Kinane, Tom Cyr,
Elizabeth Hamilton, David Hamilton, David Berez, Kim Devlin, Blanca
De La Rosa, Jeff Dobbs, Mark Pearce, Luke Donaldson, Dave Edelson,
Jenn Ehresman, Danny Bader, Chris Hogan, Nadine Stillmunks, Mike
Battagliese, Krista Wrona, John Caruccio, Jamie Danner, Jim Biniasz,
Ed Hawthorne, Dina Kanabar, Marshall Bonaquisti, Devin Farmer,
Jill Engel, Ryan Conner, Michael Curtis, Branan Cooper, Christine
Costagliola, Steve Stark, Mignona Cote, Shawn Harris, Scott Bailer, Mark
O’Donal, Karma O’Donal, Doug DeSimone, Ryan Cobb, Shawn Leger,
Kelly Cahill, Terrence Cahill, Steve Ryder, Kris Rosado, Steve Bescript,
Paul Mosley, Barry Baird, Bob Shiflet, Jessica Andrews, Bob Lamantia, Josh
Reitzes, Patrick Rockenbach, Michelle Zander-Brown, Darryl Fincher, Rob
Cochran, Brad Dunckel, Rich Coombs, Warren Butler, Tim Gayhardt,
Brian Burbage, Tewksbury Library, Lewiston (Maine) Career Center, J.V.
Fletcher Library, and to the countless others I may have inadvertently left
out.

To the people who provided recommendations when they were needed
and even when they weren’t, your words meant a lot. I am humbled
by the praise and appreciate the time and effort it took. Special thanks
to Christian Pieri, Tammy Wagenknecht, Greg Purinton-Brown, Louise
Nail, Pam Moyer, Bob Ferland, Joyce McPhetres, Dax Cummings, Jeff
Sargent, Heather Perkins, Carl Duivenvoorden, Elizabeth Cagnon, Wes
Strader, Tim Wescott, Corey Fogarty, Mark Foster, John Reddy, and
Sandy Cox.

From the very first “official” networking session with Ben Ryan, to
Ron Becker, Dan Chappell, Todd Cunningham, Ingrid Petrus, Ana Ness,
Janice McCreary, Annie Witthoefft, Pam Marsh, Jack Mahoney, John
DeSantis, Brian Gray, Sandy Wood, Russ Zusi, Mary Lynn MacKenzie,
Angel Birch, Karen Humphries, Ellen Schwartz, and many others, I am
appreciative of the invested time.

I want to send my thanks to my first set of eyes on the first version of
Displacement Day—Polly Hall, Hannah Tays, and Kathleen FitzGerald—
who turned the very rough first draft into a presentable manuscript. To
my editor Jen Blood, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Thanks for
bringing my words to life.

I’m indebted to social media such as Facebook and LinkedIn for making
the job search so much more bearable. I’m not sure how this process
was before these tools came along, but I’m thankful that I don’t have to
find out. I want to thank my old Toastmasters club in Belfast, Maine—
Dirigo—for their continuing support when I was no longer with the company,
and for my new Maine clubs in Bangor—Bangor Toastmasters—
and in Waterville and Augusta—Kennebec Valley Toastmasters—for being
so welcoming.

Finally, I want to thank the clients of Thomas Dowd Professional
Development & Coaching, LLC who could have easily questioned how
someone can teach people job-search techniques such as interviewing,
résumé writing, networking, and professional growth when he didn’t have
a job himself. You didn’t run away. Instead, you ran to me because you
knew I could empathize, and you gave me the credibility I was hoping for.
Thanks for recognizing the win-win situation.

Thomas B. Dowd III’s books Displacement Day: When My Job was Looking for a Job, The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas: Growing from a Cynic to a Professional in the Corporate World (Honorable Mention at the 2012 New England Book Festival), From Fear to Success: A Practical Public-speaking Guide (2013 Axiom Business Book Awards Gold Medal Winner and 2013 Paris Book Festival Honorable Mention). Audiobook version of “From Fear to Success” is also available! See “Products” for details on www.transformationtom.com. Book and eBook purchase options are also available on Amazon- Please click the link to be re-directed: Amazon.com

MP3 Downloads of “From Fear to Success: A Practical Public-speaking Guide” are available at Apple iTunes, Amazon, Rhapsody, Emusic, Nokia, Xbox Music, Spotify, Omnifone, Google Music Store, Rdio, Muve Music, Bloom.fm, Slacker Radio, MediaNet, 7digital, 24-7, Rumblefish, and Shazam “From Fear to Success” MP3 on CD Baby

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My Beautiful Funeral- Post from Transformation Tom- Introductory Chapter from “Displacement Day”

February 23, 2014 / tomdowd / News

Have you ever imagined your own funeral? Who will do your eulogy? Who will be your pallbearers? Will anyone show up or even care? I attended my own funeral. Let me explain. But before I do, I need to
disclose that no one died or was injured in the making of this narrative. On a typical day when I was happily playing solitaire and checking Facebook at work (add sarcasm here), I got the call. June 6th—the anniversary of D-Day. Not World War II; I’m talking about Displacement Day—the day my twenty-three-year job was eliminated. Just like that, it was over. Hard work, tenure, and skills weren’t part of the cost-cutting decision.

On my ride to work on that fateful day, a news report announced that 175,000 jobs had been added in the US, making the unemployment rate 7.6 percent. On my ride home I was on the other side—one of 11.6
million unemployed. To grasp the magnitude, take the entire population of New York City, and then add another 4 million people. The call was like a gunshot to the head. My work identity was gone immediately. I was
being put to rest and people were preparing for my funeral. Condolences rolled in, hugs were bestowed, tears flowed. What will people say when you’re gone? An old manager once asked me if I ran through a wall, would people follow? At the time, I didn’t know the answer. I needed to know the answer. That was a lifeline—a time for action. Fast-forward six years later to D-Day. I don’t recall a more calming day. It was a day of self-reflection…a chance to hover over my dead body and ask if my life and career were a success. The notes flooded in. “Tom, you’ve touched me more than you’ll ever know, personally and professionally.” “Tom, we love you… This IS your next speech.” I ran through a wall, and people followed.

How was I going to tell my three daughters that Dad was sent to the farm, just like my childhood dog? A spending freeze on shoes, clothes, and pizza may be worse than death for teenagers. My middle child’s head
tilted down at a mourner’s angle and a small tear rolled down her cheek as if it was about to drop onto my coffin. My youngest daughter held me in a bear hug as if it was the last time ever, while my social-media-conscious
sixteen-year-old daughter told me that all responses to relocation questions on Facebook were to be “no”—as if I had a choice. The denial, the anger, then acceptance—the exhaustive feeling of having my family
watch my demise. However, my support system refused to let my casket be nailed down as they put in a crowbar made of emails, phone calls, and leads. I was being resuscitated.

How many of you have prepared a will? A will reduces stress and chaos. The run through the wall question six years earlier was my wake up call, but I didn’t realize then how it would prevent my professional passing.
My eyes were opened wide as I started to build an extraordinary career-saving and life-changing network. In Keith Ferrazzi’s book Never Eat Alone he notes, “Build it before you need it.” Real relationships built over
the years provided me meaning, and are the reason for my success now. I wasn’t six feet under. I was six degrees from Kevin Bacon, or at least six degrees from my big break. I was alive. My support system was my CPR.

My job loss became a celebration of life, not my funeral. It reminded me how deep my love and my appreciation really are for my family, friends, and network. I was not defined by my job. I defined my own life
and was going to do my funeral my way. No, I’m not going to belt out Sinatra. I lost work but found me. I used my displacement as reaffirmation that when I leave this earth, I’m leaving with no regrets. Think about
your own funeral—when your spirit is hovering over the mourners, will you leave them something to mourn and celebrate?

So, let’s go back to the question: Have you ever imagined your own funeral? Who will do your eulogy, who will be your pallbearers, who will care? My eulogy was shouted out by the many key people in my network
who blew my trumpet for me and gave humbling accounts of the person I had been, and who I had become. My pallbearers carried me when I couldn’t go any further. The overwhelming flood of calls and messages
showed who cared. I have to admit that I started writing this narrative immediately after I got the call, and I wrote the end too. We all know we’re going to die—I don’t mean that “end.” I mean the speech ending, where
I get a job. I wrote it before I had a job secured. It wasn’t overconfidence, it was just a belief that I was surrounded by an ironclad network that refused to stop giving me the oxygen I needed to survive. Are you ready to
see your own funeral? I lived to see mine, and it was beautiful.”

Thomas B. Dowd III’s books The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas: Growing from a Cynic to a Professional in the Corporate World (Honorable Mention at the 2012 New England Book Festival), From Fear to Success: A Practical Public-speaking Guide (2013 Axiom Business Book Awards Gold Medal Winner and 2013 Paris Book Festival Honorable Mention), and Displacement Day: When My Job was Looking for a Job. Audiobook version of “From Fear to Success” is also available! See “Products” for details on www.transformationtom.com. Book and eBook purchase options are also available on Amazon- Please click the link to be re-directed: Amazon.com

Confessions of a Loser

July 26, 2013 / tomdowd / News

In 2009, I wrote a speech for Project Six in the Toastmasters’ Competent Communicator manual. I was more than halfway to my competent communicator goal of ten speeches and was very proud of my progress. A fellow club member said that I should enter the upcoming international speech competition. My response was, “What competition?” I had no idea there were speech contests. I am a competitive person by nature, so I entered. Being introverted like so many people within the Toastmasters organization, I could see the value of being thrust in front of a bunch of people I didn’t know to share a story that I had only shared in front of my club—I think. Being a consummate learner, I knew my learning curve would grow exponentially with the added pressure.

I need to set the tone that I had just learned to let go of the lectern with clenched fingers and was only starting to understand that I didn’t have to stand behind it. I was also still weaning off my addiction of looking at notes. The contest day came quickly. I stood in the middle of the floor at my very first contest. I looked good—for a stiff, upright, tensed shoulders-looking speaker afraid of moving from one spot. Apparently, I owned that space on the floor and feared someone would steal it if I moved—so there I remained for my six and a half minutes. The verdict was announced. I didn’t win. However, I finished second in our club and would move on to the next level—the area contest.

I was given feedback going into the area-level contest that I could actually move—if I wanted. Being a literal guy, I let it all loose at the area contest. I think I scared the audience, or at least distracted them a little, as I quickly scurried back and forth across the stage with no thought of anchoring my story, let alone stopping long enough to have the audience absorb the poignant points that must have sounded like a training whistle speeding by. I didn’t win. Yet, my content must have been strong enough to get some of the judges’ attention since I received the second place nod to move on to the division level. I had yet to win a contest, but was finding some success, was having fun, and was gaining confidence. At the divisional level, I was blown away by the other competitors’ speeches. I didn’t even close to placing. To make excuses, I didn’t write my speech as an “international” contest speech entry since I didn’t even know what one was. I did learn more about how contests work and found out that I had grown. Additionally, I learned a valuable lesson of looking at the speech ballot so I would know how I was being judged going forward.

I was feeling good enough to try the next humorous speech contest. I was fortunate enough to move on to the division finals—again, I finished in second place. I still had yet to win a contest, but second place continued to be good enough to advance. As I stood in front of about fifty people, the first line became locked in my head and I didn’t have the key. My brain refused to release my thoughts to my mouth while the second line was bursting to come out. There I stood in silence wondering what to do next. After what seemed like an hour, I chose to skip the first line and just started on the second. I finished in third place. I had learned another lesson. I realized my preparation technique of standing in front of a mirror or talking to my steering wheel in my car while I drove wouldn’t cut it if I wanted to succeed in speech competitions. I significantly revamped my preparation by finding live practice audiences beyond waiting for Toastmaster meetings.

The following year, I made it to the District 45 finals of the international speech contest. One of the competitors jokingly told me before the contest, “I hope I win the world championship so I can quit my day job.” I said, “What’s the world championship?” I had no idea the winner would advance to the world semi-finals. My confidence took a little hit when I found that a few competitors were professional speakers. Additionally, during lunch one of the organizers announced that two-thirds of the conference attendees were from Canada. As a U.S. member who had written a speech with U.S. statistics, I panicked and modified my speech two hours before the competition. I stumbled on a line mid-way through my presentation later that night. I didn’t place in the top three. I learned another lesson. Know your audience better. More importantly, I learned the value of having mentors. The contest winner provided me support, encouragement, and feedback after the contest. He became a mentor and a long-time friend.

Fall rolled around again and it was time for a new humorous speech. In the middle of my contest speech at the division level, a jackhammer was hard at work in the background. I was so distracted that I lost my place. Although I had made some changes to my practice preparation, I would typically search for complete silence so I wouldn’t be distracted. Yes, I lost again—I didn’t even place in the top three. Lesson learned! I started searching for distractions, whether it was my daughter playing the piano or turning on the television or radio.

The competitions continued. During the international speech competition at the district level again, I had a picture of the main subject that I flipped around for the audience to see in the middle of my speech. After losing again, I was given feedback that the props weren’t needed for this speech since I had already painted the picture for the audience with the descriptive words I was using. The blank sign was also seen as creating too many questions in the mind of the audience until it was shown while making my stage movement predictable. I was learning lessons about the appropriate use of props.

I am a loser—and I wouldn’t want it any other way. There can be only one winner who gets a trophy, but I can’t count the number of wins I’ve had while competing without receiving the hardware. These losses led me down the path of in-depth concentration on understanding audiences, learning to play to my strengths, and setting my goals higher. More importantly, I realized who I am and who I want to be as a speaker. During this time, I’ve continued to participate in contests, including having the fortune to win the District 45 Table Topics Championship in both 2012 and 2013. The desire to better myself led me to write two books on personal growth which include many of these same lessons. I’ve also started my own business. I blame Toastmasters for much of this. I tell you this not to be boastful, but because I am a loser. I am better because I joined Toastmasters. The Toastmasters program has given me confidence to try things I never thought I would while showing me the importance of the journey, not the end result. I am better today than yesterday, but not yet as good as tomorrow—and that’s okay. Every loss turned into a win when I found nuggets of information that could make me a better speaker—and person. The contests are just a microcosmic look at what has driven me to become who I wanted to be. The contests, for me, became a spring board to look at my life as a whole and became a driving factor to make many other decisions to personally and professionally transform me. Each loss catapulted me toward another challenge and more success. Have you lost, yet really won lately? You too can become a loser!

Thomas B. Dowd III’s books The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas: Growing from a Cynic to a Professional in the Corporate World (Honorable Mention at the 2012 New England Book Festival) and From Fear to Success: A Practical Public-speaking Guide (2013 Axiom Business Book Awards Gold Medal Winner and 2013 Paris Book Festival Honorable Mention) are available under “Products” on www.transformationtom.com. Book and eBook purchase options are also available on Amazon- Please click the link to be re-directed: Amazon.com

Dowd, leadership, learning, lose, loser, losers, speaking, speech competitions, Thomas Dowd, toastmaster, Toastmasters, Tom Dowd, transformation, transformation tom, win, winning

Guest Blog by Susan Trivers- How to Hold Your Audience in Rapt Attention

May 30, 2013 / tomdowd / News

I’m excited to have Susan Trivers for the second time as a guest blogger. Susan is a well-respected Toastmaster and a gifted speaking coach. Please feel free to share your thoughts and comments below! Susan- thank you for your contributions. For all of my Toastmasters friends, Susan was referenced in the most March 2013 Toastmasters Magazine article, “When Bad Speeches Happen to Good People.” Congratulations on all of your success, and thanks again!

How to Hold Your Audience in Rapt Attention

By Susan Trivers www.greatspeakingcoach.com

There is magic in those moments when everyone in the audience is paying full attention to you. You don’t need to be a sleight-of-hand magician to make this happen. You only need to tell a great story.

A powerful example of how a great story is like magic was reported in the news about Bill Clinton speaking at Howard University’s 2013 graduation. Clinton described his visit to Indonesia and a tour through the camps sheltering many tens of thousands of those left homeless by the tsunami in 2004.

Clinton praised the handsomeness of a 10 year old boy. The interpreter told Clinton that yes, the boy was handsome and that until the tsunami, he had had 9 siblings. All of them were lost in the tsunami. As the reporter wrote “The crowd fell silent.”

It’s what Clinton said next that makes this an example of speaking magic. He said to the graduates “This man who had lost nine of his ten children led me through that camp with a smile on his face and never talked about anything but what those other people needed and what he wanted me to do.”

“No matter what happens to you, it is highly unlikely that you will ever face anything as awful as what happened to that mother and father.”

No facts and statistics, no policy rants, no logic. A compelling story related in simple meaningful words with obvious emotion in his voice. Those graduates will remember their graduation day for a long time. I’m sure that from time to time, when faced with the difficulties of life that everyone faces, they will remember this story.

How well do you create magic with your stories and hold your audience in rapt attention?

Contact Information:

Susan G. Trivers

https://www.susantrivers.com/

susan@susantrivers.com

703-790-1424 1651

East Avenue, McLean, VA 22101

Mom’s Rules- a Guest Blog by Bill Packard

May 3, 2013 / tomdowd / News

I have another special guest blog post. I’m pleased to have Bill Packard, a native Mainer, small business and customer service expert. Please take a few moments to read about important lessons in running a business and feel free to make comments. It’s a nice touch for Bill to include it the week of Mother’s Day. Bill- thank you for the contribution and sharing!

Mom’s Rules

Here’s the first lesson my mother taught me about Customer service. If people don’t come through the door of The Lucky Strike Lanes, have a good time, and leave money, you don’t get new clothes for school. I am not now, nor was I then a fashion conscious guy, but some things are very important to a middle school male and new clothes for the start of the school year was very close to the top of the list of important things.

With mom, everything was about the Customer. There were rules. They were rules that employees did not break.

You always open on time, ready to do business.
You make sure the Customer has whatever they need.
Everything is CLEAN. Got that? Everything.
Do what you can to make the Customer’s visit a fun thing for them.
Count the Customer’s change back to them. (We didn’t have fancy cash registers.)
Don’t start cleaning up from the day when Customers are still in the building.
Don’t ever, ever, ever turn out the lights or the sign until after closing time and if Customers are still in the building after closing time, don’t ever, ever, ever turn out the lights or the sign.

I hope these all look pretty familiar to you if you’re in business, but here’s what happens sometimes. The business owner is clear about their expectations but somewhere down the line as those expectations are passed down, there is a disconnect. My goal is to do what I can to repair that disconnect.

Let me give you an example. I was returning from a business trip several years ago with a company vehicle that needed fuel. The company I worked for had an account with a terrific company that stressed excellent Customer service and provided fuel and other things. I arrived at a store very close to closing time and started the pump running. Before the vehicle was full, the pump shut off. Within just a few seconds, the lights went out. I was kind of shocked so it took me a few minutes to realize what was going on. I went into the building and said I was not done filling the vehicle, and the person behind the counter told me, “We close at 9.” That was obviously not the company policy and I’m sure they would have been extremely upset had they known about it.

Having excellent, superior, over the top Customer service is a good solid position to start from as an owner, but if that’s not communicated down to the people in the trenches, it’s not going to be a reality. And when your employee handles things the way the employee in the example did, that becomes the level of service your company provides in the minds of your Customers.

Bill Packard

Website: https://www.bpackard.com/

Email: BPackardME@gmail.com

Phone Number: 207-691-2659

Mirror Mirror on the Wall, who is the fairest of them all? Guest Blog Post by Bruce Miller

April 9, 2013 / tomdowd / News

I have another special guest blog post. I’m pleased to have Bruce Miller, a certified professional coach, long-time mental health professional, member of the John Maxwell Group, and Toastmaster member share his thoughts and expereinces with all of us. Please take a few moments to read through this article on self-awareness and feel free to make comments. Bruce- thank you for the contribution and sharing!

Mirror Mirror on the Wall, who is the fairest of them all?

We have all heard that saying from Snow White. I have always been intrigued with mirrors. I remember as a kid looking into our bathroom mirror and wondering if there was another world inside the mirror. What I know now is that the mirror does reveal another world to us.

If we are willing and brave enough to really look into the mirror we can go on the greatest journey of our lives. That journey is the journey of self discovery. I have found that most everyone is not that willing to really take a good look at what is inside to see what we are really like. I have worked in the mental health field for over 25 years and continually study human behaviour.

The most complex human I have observed has been myself. I have taken that journey of self observation and there have been times I wanted to ignore and run from what I have found. The number one thing that I have discovered is that fear has been a constant companion in my life. I also believe that fear is one of the biggest issues that keeps us from becoming the person we want to be.

The fear of failure, the fear of not being good enough, the fear of people seeing any weaknesses we have and on and on fear seems to control what we do. Back in 2009 my brother died in a motorcycle accident. That night I volunteered to identify my brother’s body, this has been one of the hardest things I have ever done, I was so afraid to look at my brother’s body but I did it. What I also did was look at the one thing that we are all afraid of, I looked at death. This is the one thing we all fear and we seem to think that all of those other things like the fear of failure, the fear of whatever will kill us. Guess what, those things that are in all of us that we may perceive as weaknesses will not kill us. If you are willing to I would challenge you to take that inward journey and look at what is inside of you, come face to face with whatever it is and embrace them, it will make you stronger. I guarantee that it will not kill you.

Mirror Mirror on the wall – who is the strongest to look inside ?

Bruce Miller, Certified Professional Coach

BruceMiller@johnmaxwellgroup.com

encouragingspeaker@gmail.com

www.JohnMaxwellGroup.com/BruceMiller

Guest Blog by Susan Trivers- If You Can Make a List, You Can Write a Speech

March 20, 2013 / tomdowd / News

I’m excited to have yet another well respected Toastmasters and gifted speaking coach share her expertise with all of us. Please feel free to share your thoughts and comments below! Susan- thank you for your contributions. For all of my Toastmasters friends, Susan was referenced in the most March 2013 Toastmasters Magazine article, “When Bad Speeches Happen to Good People.” Congratulations on all of your success, and thanks again!

If You Can Make a List, You Can Write a Speech

If you’re like most people I meet, you make lists every day. “To-Do” lists are a regular favorite. There are lists of activities; lists of things to take when you travel; lists of projects you’ve worked on.

The similarity between all of these lists is that you jot down one word or two and then you know the whole story behind those short words.

If you can make a list, you can write a speech. Why? Because just like these lists, each word you list for your speech represents content you already know. When you see the word, you know what to say.

The number one barrier to gaining confidence and success as a speaker is that you spend too much time writing and not enough time practicing and rehearsing. My clients regularly report that when they practice/rehearse 10 times or more, they actually feel their own improvement grow from within.

My pie of time approach recommends allocating 40% of your time on content and 60% of your time practicing and rehearsing. You can easily hit the 40% mark if you use your list-making skills to create and organize your content. Don’t write everything out; simply rely on the one or two word note to prompt yourself to speak about what you already know.

Download my Write a Speech Now model to help you get ideas about the kinds of varied content you should include on your list.

Post your thoughts in our comment box about how list-making will help you with speech writing.

Contact Information:

Susan G. Trivers

https://www.susantrivers.com/
susan@susantrivers.com
703-790-1424
1651 East Avenue, McLean, VA 22101

Project Confidence- Guest blog by Award-Winning Business Author Blanca M. De La Rosa

March 1, 2013 / tomdowd / News

I am very excited to include a special guest blog from an award-winning business author. I met Blanca in January at the 2012 New England Book Festival where “Empower Yourself for an Amazing Career” won the business category. I found we hit it off and have very similar beliefs and opinions on professional growth. I look forward to a continued partnership–thank you for the contribution. Keep reading to learn how to “Project Confidence,” and check out her website and book. Your opinions and comments are encouraged!

Blanca M. De La Rosa

Empower Yourself For An Amazing Career

www.blancadelarosa.net

bmdelarosa@msn.com

(877) 594-9981

Project Confidence

Self-confidence is one of the key ingredients required for a successful career. Projecting a lack of confidence and knowledge will construct barriers that may impede the growth of your career. You need to project confidence and never think that you are not as good as or as smart as the people around you because of your cultural background or education. Have faith in your skills and abilities and do not allow the cultural mantra of the organization or your peers affect your self-confidence.

Some people appear to be born with self-confidence, but most have to work at it. Self-confidence can be developed and nourished. However, getting it right is a matter of striking a perfect balance between low-confidence and over-confidence that is realistic and represents your true ability.

Self-confident individuals:

Do not waste too much time worrying about what others may think and instead focus on the task at hand.
Feel comfortable with themselves, their abilities, strengths, and weaknesses.
Are willing to take risks, readily admit their mistakes and learn from them.
Graciously accept compliments recognizing a job well done without downplaying or exaggerating their role in the situation.
Know how to set and attain reasonable goals.
Take the time to appreciate and celebrate their success.

It is human nature to experience an occasional secret fear that one is not good enough. You may feel that everyone else has it all together and that you are the only one struggling to keep it together. Don’t let a false sense of self and the opinion of others affect your self-worth and self-esteem.

You can look up to people, but only if it is not at the expense of your own self-worth and self-esteem. Regard these people as your role models, people you want to learn from and emulate. And, as you grow in knowledge, strength, and status, stand beside them as your peers.

Be presumptuous enough to believe that you are just as good as, as smart as, or better than those around you and that you have a significant contribution to make.

Don’t talk yourself out of greatness. Lord knows that there are probably plenty of people around you who are already working on that.

“Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.” — Eleanor Roosevelt

Guest Blog Post by Professional Inspirational Speaker and Trainer Steve Gamlin: “Are You Clearing Hay Fields with a Weed-Wacker?”

January 9, 2013 / tomdowd / Leadership, News

This past Summer, just after my fiancée moved back to New Hampshire, I faced a dilemma. The back lawn at Tina’s house hadn’t been mowed in quite some time, and the neighbor’s plants had decided the grass was greener in her yard. The root system of the vines next door had invaded…with a vengeance (or is that a vine-geance?).

The Jurassic lawnmower in the shed had last been started during Clinton’s first term. It took just 2 pulls before the cord frayed and snapped, leaving me on my butt with the handle and 6 inches of rope still in my grip.

I instantly pronounced Tyrannosaurus Rust officially ‘extinct’.

Dejected, I trudged to the car for my 100-foot extension cord so I could power up the electric weed-wacker. Needle in a haystack? That was me, as I was essentially trimming a hayfield one flailing swipe at a time.

After completing about 1/3 of the back yard in an hour (and dripping with sweat) Tina and I (mostly me) made a decision: it was time to invest in a new lawnmower!

A quick trip to the hardware store (with a cool coupon, Tina’s a smart shopper) meant a ride home with an extra passenger: a bright and shiny new Husqvarna self-propelled mower. After minimal assembly, and a check of this unfamiliar yard for rocks and branches, I was off!

It took less than 15 minutes to finish the job, completely and effectively.

Ever feel you’re trying to do YOUR job with inefficient tools?

Is your support team suffering a similar fate?

Are you lost in a huge ‘business’ hayfield armed only with a weed-wacker?

Perhaps this week you can invest in yourself, and your tool arsenal, becoming more efficient and empowered.

Could your technology use some updating? Has a new book or audio product been created just for your industry?

Is there a conference which could serve to inspire and educate your team members to play at the top of their game?

Please do not continue weed-wacking in the endless hay-field of Big Business and the Web!

Here’s to YOU, my friends: may you honor your mission by arming yourself with more effective tools.

The most powerful one is your mind. That’s a good place to start.

Fire it up and clear out everything that’s in your way, powerfully and efficiently!

Steve desribes himself as,”I am a regular guy from a blue-collar background who followed his dreams, survived the speedbumps and a few rollovers.” Steve is a professional speaker, entertainer and author,with a goal to become the most AUTHENTIC movtivational voice which has ever graced a stage. As a fellow member of Toastmasters and the National Speakers Association, I can say that Steve’s voice is not only authentic, it is being heard by many audiences. I applaud Steve’s success and wish to share his AUTHENTICITY with my own audience. Thanks for your contribution Steve! Please feel free to share and add your comments.

Steve Gamlin’s contact information:

P.O. Box 5

Goffstown, NH 03045

(603) 560-3360

Steve@SteveGamlin.com

www.SteveGamlin.com

guest blog, leadership, national speakers association, speaker, Toastmasters, Tom Dowd, training, transformation

Post from Transformation Tom- Manage Your Time, Don’t Let it Manage You—Part I: Chapter from “The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas”

January 4, 2013 / tomdowd / News

Manage Your Time, Don’t Let it Manage You—Part I

I have found in my over twenty years of professional experience that poor time management skills are one of the biggest pitfalls for leaders. I am going to intentionally repeat myself: poor time management skills are one of the biggest pitfalls for leaders. I took organization training over eighteen years ago, and I understood at that time the power of managing my day and beyond. More importantly, I realized I couldn’t survive in the business world until I could manage the swirling days, weeks, and months around me. By actively staying organized, I found I could dedicate the appropriate time to urgent and important items, spend more time developing people, and yes, put out those dreadful fires that often come our way.

When you are running at capacity, the fire drill exercise will sacrifice something else that may need to be dropped. However, if you have full control and knowledge of your own capacity, you can not only do it right, but you have a chance to do it all, and more. Included in this section are highlights from an evolving organization course I have taught over the years for new and experienced managers. I have a positive reputation for being highly organized at work. Some call it being anal retentive or compulsive. However, very few people can remember me ever missing a key deadline.

First and foremost, people are the highest priority. Regardless of your job responsibilities or what is on your calendar for the day, people who work for you take the top billing. As a manager, how do you get all of the administrative work done if you are constantly bombarded with questions from your direct reports? Good managers can anticipate questions and concerns through staff meetings and team meetings. It is extremely important to lay out clear expectations and preparations, including what might be the best time to connect with you, what is on your plate for the day, and who to contact if you are not available. Being ahead of the game is also important. You can do this by anticipating common questions and put answers in your reports’ hands before the questions are even asked. Everyone wins.

Managers should also understand the most effective ways to present information to a particular audience. Knowing who you are presenting to and how well they will absorb the information is critical. How does your group like to be taught? For example, a manager might find success in asking open-ended questions to ensure clarity. Tossing facts and figures at a group of people and expecting them to remember can be difficult. There should be interaction and engagement from everyone. The group of people learning should feel comfortable, and the leader should invest the appropriate amount of time when it is all over. Sometimes in the past, I rushed information to people by talking at them, and was always surprised when I got a question later about the same subject. I have found it extremely helpful for time-management purposes to invest the time up front so that everyone learns and digests the information from the start. Group settings are extremely helpful in avoiding duplicate messages. If you are not a leader, you should ensure that this gets practiced by discussing this with your manager.

Leaders need to build time into their calendars for the unexpected. How can you do this if you don’t know what’s coming relating to those “I need it now” requests? If you are scheduled for an eight hour day, and your calendar is booked for that entire eight hours, it is guaranteed that you will not get everything done. The unexpected will happen during that time—I promise. I like to block off time in my day with follow-up items that occupy space on my calendar to cover loose ends. The blocks of time also allow flexibility if meetings go over or someone needs me for something important. These blocks of time are great for reflecting on past meetings, preparing for upcoming meetings, or conducting in-depth work.

You should also schedule time to get away from your desk. This builds in another block of time for the unexpected, and allows extra time for the flexibility to take a break and stay fresh. Below are some additional tips for the unexpected:

Schedule time for emails, return messages, etc. This minimizes your need to multitask and builds more open time. If you build an hour a day for this and it only takes thirty minutes, take advantage of the bonus time for other tasks.
Build in time for daily operations and be sensitive to potential impacts within your business. For example, in a call center, Mondays are often high call volume days. Managers are needed on the floor. Build that time on the floor into your calendar for non-meeting activities. Do not schedule your staff meetings during peak times, since the chances for interruption are high and a less productive meeting will occur.
Use miscellaneous blocks of time on your calendar for routine events that may not require a specific time. For example, you know you need two hours tomorrow to provide feedback to people on your team, or do a daily task like quality monitoring. You may schedule it for 10:00 A.M.-12:00 noon. The actual time is not as important as reserving the block of time of two hours. You can build in the flexibility to move this block of time through the same day as you need to as long as you remain committed to making it happen. Be careful of pushing it too late into the day, when you risk not completing it and are required to move it to another day. When you start carrying appointments over to other days, you run the risk of creating a bottleneck situation. For example, pushing the two hours to another day puts you four hours in the hole the following day.
Use recurring meetings to hold future times and dates. This habit gives people a heads up to reserve times and dates and should increase attendance to key meetings. It is respectful of other people’s calendars, since it will give everyone ample time to know what is ahead for them, and they can look forward to the same time and date each week or month.

One of the greatest things I did for my own sanity was to keep a pad of paper near my nightstand at home. How does this relate to time management? When random thoughts pop into my head at night, I write them down immediately. The benefits are as follows: 1) I don’t forget, thus I don’t waste time trying to remember, 2) I sleep better knowing I have immediately addressed my thoughts, 3) I have stronger ideas since I have reached the inner non-stressed part of my brain and can formulate a plan of action. All of this allows me to enter into my day knowing where and when things are happening, with a clear plan of attack to get it done.

Don’t be a slave to your calendar, but be committed to it and avoid constant appointment pushing. Consistent appointment pushing to another day is a red flag that you need to change the calendar process—it is either too full or you need to be more committed to it.

You should invest ample time in understanding your future calendar appointments. Organize tomorrow before leaving today. You should invest five minutes before leaving for the day. I make very few promises, but I will make an exception. I promise you will sleep better knowing exactly what’s on your plate tomorrow. You should actually schedule this five minute event for the end of day as a calendar appointment. Five invested minutes will save you hours later. Additionally, organize the next week every Friday. Look out a week at a time. Again, schedule this Friday event on your calendar. Finally, organize each month with a few days before the current month ends. Look out a month at a time. Once again, schedule this event on your calendar. This shouldn’t be done on the thirtieth of the month—it should be done around the twenty-sixth to avoid surprises in the first week of the following month. The outlook a month ahead of time allows you to determine what normal routines you need to conduct each month and how to spread them accordingly. When we have certain obligations that are required on a monthly basis, I find as high as ninety-five percent of the people on any given month, if given the choice, will do the task at the end of the month. Be in the minority and get things done before they are scheduled and due.

We are in a culture of procrastinators. I am on the opposite end of the spectrum, almost to the extreme, viewing it as the antithesis of procrastination. I want tasks out of the way as quickly as possible so that I can concentrate on other things. I front load certain events in the first or second week of each month to get them out of the way, and allow flexibility in case other events come up that need to be accomplished prior to the month ending. There have been many times when something did come up at the end of the month, and a number of leaders did not meet their requirements as a result. Keeping ahead of your schedule allows for the unexpected. As I was going through my career growing pains, it was effective time management that often kept me afloat.

Additional reading specific to time management: The Productivity Pro- Laura Stark https://www.theproductivitypro.com/blog/2013/01/how-your-standards-can-slow-you-down/#respond

Thomas B. Dowd III’s books The Transformation of a Doubting Thomas: Growing from a Cynic to a Professional in the Corporate World (Honorable Mention at the 2012 New England Book Festival) and From Fear to Success: A Practical Public-speaking Guide (2013 Axiom Business Book Awards Gold Medal Winner and 2013 Paris Book Festival Honorable Mention) are available under “Products” on www.transformationtom.com. Book and eBook purchase options are also available on Amazon- Please click the link to be re-directed: Amazon.com

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